“Can I Do It Alone?” is the title of this Substack. Most of the time, the answer is yes. Can I go to dinner alone? Can I change a spark plug alone? Can I drive across the country alone? Yes, you can.
But sometimes, the answer is no. Either it is not possible, or you need another set of hands, and that’s just the way it is.
Consider:
Carrying heavy loads. You can carry more than you think you can if you make use of a dolly, employ some leverage, or stop to figure out a way. I have gotten furniture kits delivered that I was able to move piece by piece from the door to the construction area by opening the package and transferring a few pieces at a time. If you can split it up, you can move it. But if it can’t be divided or dollied, and it weighs more than your body is able to handle, call for help. You only get one body to ruin in this life.
Climbing ladders or roofs or even balancing on chairs. Depending on how agile and coordinated you are, you might be able to do some of this. But if you’re like me, certain that with every step you’re about to fall, don’t do it alone. Preferably, don’t do it at all. We’re coming on the one-year anniversary of the book festival where I fell while standing on a wobbly chair to hang a banner. I injured my tailbone badly enough that it impaired my ability to walk and hurt for months. I was lucky it wasn’t worse. If you’re not one hundred percent sure it’s safe, keep your feet on the ground.
Trying to repair gas or electrical problems when a wrong move could render you electrocuted or unconscious from inhaling fumes, with no one to call 911 or the power company. Just don’t do it.
I have been compiling a list. It started a few years ago at my Unleashed in Oregon Blog. Recently, I asked my Facebook and Substack friends to add their suggestions.
One friend insisted that if you have your health, nothing is impossible to do alone. Another offered simply “living” as something that’s not possible to do alone. For most of us, the answer is somewhere in-between.
Just Can’t Do It Alone
Hug
Make a baby
Sing harmony
Play more than one musical instrument at a time (except for harmonicas with stringed or keyboard instruments)
Play football
Get a decent picture taken
Play Frisbee
Play Marco Polo
Water ski
Shake out a very large rug
Put on a bracelet with a clasp or zip a dress with a back zipper
Remove snug cowboy boots
Ride a teeter totter—A couple people suggested it is possible if you sit in the middle and rock both ways
Perform surgery on yourself (even if they do it in the adventure movies and old cowboy flicks)
Care for yourself after major surgery
Look yourself in the eye without a mirror
Look at your own backside
Play rock, paper, scissors
Play tug of war
Warp a loom
Dance the tango
Play tennis
Get married
Run in a three-legged race
Play double-Dutch jump rope
Move a piano
Breastfeed
Perform in a partner trapeze act
Create a surprise party for yourself
Should Not Do Alone (I have done most of them)
Cut your own hair
Diagnose your own illness
Try a new medication, especially an infusion or chemotherapy
Use power tools for the first time
Handle livestock if you have no experience doing so
Do anything where your feet aren’t touching the ground
Move furniture bigger than you are.
Eat an entire large pizza.
Hold a wine-tasting party.
Drive when you’ve been drinking or toking
Crawl under your house (I’m NEVER doing this one)
Go long-distance hiking or rock-climbing (yes, Cheryl Strayed did it and got a best-selling book out of it, but the rest of us should take a buddy)
Keep driving when you feel sleepy
Soak in a hot tub until you fall asleep and stay asleep until the rain wakes you up.
Watch more than one episode of “Alone” per day (Binging makes you start feeling like you’re about to be attacked by a bear and you’re starving to death).
Here’s a YouTube video with lots of things not to do alone, some of them ridiculous but others pretty good advice, like don’t try to do surgery on yourself or go walking at 3 a.m. If your mom told you not to do it, she was probably right.
I know there are more things to add to the list. Please share in the comments. Let me know if you disagree with anything I have included here. We CAN do an awful lot alone, but not EVERYTHING.
Photo by Khanh Nguyen: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-young-man-sitting-on-a-swing-in-a-park-27858875/
P.S. I’m posting a day early because I’ll be at the Florence Festival of Books tomorrow (Sept. 28). Florence, Oregon, not Italy. If you’re in the area, come see the many authors who will be selling and signing.
How did I end up alone? I didn’t have any kids. After my husband and I retired to the Oregon coast, far from family, he died of Alzheimer’s. You can read our story in my new memoir, No Way Out of This: Loving a Partner with Alzheimer’s, available now at your favorite bookseller. Visit https://www.suelick.com for information on all of my books.
Zip a back-zipper dress: I'm still flexible enough to do this. But maybe not forever.
Remove snug cowboy boots: I've never had help with this, even when not living alone.
Look at your own backside: You can with mirrors.
Play tennis: You can't have a competitive game, but can hit against a wall or backboard.
My favorite one is the surprise party--made me laugh. I can imagine decorating the house and then walking in and exclaiming to myself, "What a shock! I had no idea!"