Alone in the Wilderness vs. Alone in Your House

TV show makes me ponder the real meaning of “alone”

Would you like to be dropped off in a forest in the middle of winter to survive indefinitely with no other people, only a few basic tools and a camera to film yourself? 

I spent the last few days watching ten men do exactly that on the History Channel’s show “Alone.” Maybe this show is old news to you. It has been going for eleven seasons, but I just discovered it, and I had to take a look. I started with Season 1, which I suspect was more rugged than those that followed. 

This show is very different from shows like “Survivor,” where the contestants are surrounded by people, including the other contestants and the extensive production crew. The people on those shows are not allowed to starve or be killed, but these guys really face nature completely alone. There are no games or challenges or tribal councils. All they have to do is stay alive. 

All of the contestants that first season were white male survival experts. They were pretty cocky when they were dropped off miles apart from each other on an island in British Columbia. As a Northwest resident, I was not surprised by the wet and windy weather, but they were. Things were a lot tougher than they expected. They had trouble starting fires and finding water and food. Bears, cougars and wolves scared the bejeebers out of them.  

The men did not know how long they would be there, only that the one who lasted the longest would receive half a million dollars. They were cold, wet, and hungry. If they couldn’t take any more, they had a primitive phone with which to call to “tap out.” The rescue crew would come get them, and they’d go back to civilization. Six of them tapped out within a week. The last four kept going for almost two months. 

They were a fascinating group, all good at making something out of nothing. Lucas made himself a boat. Sam made traps in which he caught mice for dinner. Mitch skinned a dead otter for its thick pelt. Alan made hearty meals of shellfish and other fish he caught in his gill net. Lucas even made himself a musical instrument out of wood and fishing line. 

But on many days, the weather was so intense they didn’t dare leave their flimsy tarp shelters for fear of hyperthermia and freezing to death. At any moment, a tree swaying in the 65-mph wind could fall on them. They went days without eating, doing nothing but lying in their shelters waiting for sunshine. The boredom and isolation got to them, and they wept. They were filthy, hungry, and discouraged. All of them talked about how being so isolated forced them to face the thoughts, memories, and regrets they avoided in their regular lives. 

One by one, they dropped out until Alan, a 40-year-old from Georgia, was the only one left. The season ended with him coming home to his wife and three kids. They were all sitting around the Christmas tree, overjoyed to be together again. 

I cried. I wasn’t just weeping over the happy ending, although it was beautiful. I wept because I have no family to come home to, because I have all the creature comforts Alan and the others realized they could live without, but I don’t have people waiting for me. Nor can I ever “tap out” and end this alone situation.  

Get over the pity party, Sue, I tell myself. You have people all around you. I do. But there are all kinds of aloneness. The men on the “Alone” show were alone in the wilderness. I’m alone in my house. 

You can be alone in a crowd. You can be a prisoner in solitary confinement, a monk in isolation, or anyone stuck at home with an illness or injury and no one coming to help. You can be the only person who doesn’t speak the dominant language or isn’t part of the dominant culture. You can be isolated by deafness or blindness. You can be living in a tent on the sidewalk in a big city where people walk around you as if you weren’t there.

Every flavor of aloneness is a survival challenge. 

I don’t know if I want to watch the other seasons of “Alone.” It’s awfully intense. Once you’ve seen one group struggle and starve, won’t it be similar season after season? 

Have you watched “Alone?” It seems to be available on many streaming platforms. I watched it on Freevee, complete with annoying commercials. 

 Can we do it alone? Maybe not in a forest with nothing but a knife and a couple tarps. For some of us, our “wilderness” has four walls and a door. 

What do you think? I welcome your comments.

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How did I end up alone? I didn’t have any kids. After my husband and I retired to the Oregon coast, far from family, he died of Alzheimer’s. You can read our story in my new memoir, No Way Out of This: Loving a Partner with Alzheimer’s, available now at your favorite bookseller. Visit https://www.suelick.com for information on all of my books.

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Sept. 16-22 is World Childless Week. Activities, all online and free, include speakers, panels, webinars, and testimony by hundreds of non-parents. Wednesday’s sessions will focus on pets and how they do or don’t fill the void for people without children. Check the schedule and register for the events you want to attend live or view later.

I’ll be joining the Childless Elderwomen panel on Thursday, Sept. 19 at noon PDT to talk about friendships between parents and nonparents. Have you ever lost a friend when they had a baby or became obsessed with their grandchildren? Me too. Register here for our chat. It will be recorded, so you can still watch it if you can’t make it to the live session.