There is no guarantee your own children will be available when you age. They may live elsewhere or have very busy lives and projects to manage, so are unavailable.🤨
Good friendships are invaluable, we hold each other up😀
I'm childfree - the term I prefer- by marriage also. The partner I am with now, at 77, is also childfree, and we joke about having kids "someday." My own mother said it was the greatest joy of her life.
Regrets? A few, but as I listen to the joys and pains of my parenting friends, I am sometimes relieved that I didn't have children. I am dealing now with an aging beloved dog and some days my heart feels so heavy about her that I wonder if I could have survived parenthood!
I do believe it's a precious gift, to be a parent, and applaud those who do it well. I also know well that one can have a good life filled with wonderful relationships and meaning without having children!
I prefer to be known as child free. Childless implies some sort of failure. I'll never consider myself a failure.
At this point in my life I consider myself fortunate. I'm 73, good health (so far), lots of interests and lovely friends. Although I'm own (with my dogs for company) I'm not lonely or regretful and treasure having time to myself.
Things could've turned out much worse . No guarantees your children will like you and keep in contact. I loved my job and was fortunate to work continuously for 40 years. In the end I may not have been a good mother .
Also here in Australia, the fastest growing demographic of homeless people is women over 50 !! A lot of women who have devoted their whole lives to their family, only to find themselves cast aside with no means of support. 😕
This touches close to home Sue, thank you. I look forward to reading your book, but perhaps not right now. I'm 60 but still in wonder about it, how could it be that my children, and grandchildren, are not here, that I really am living this whole life without that? I have adjusted my life to no longer be "looking in the bakery window" of what I yearn for, instead focusing on parts of life that I can participate in. I so appreciate how you over-share (in your words!). It brings an earthiness and humor to it all. Thank you so much. I'm real sorry about the lost connections with your stepchildren, there may have been no preventing it no matter what you did or didn't do, either way one of the messy parts of our humanness. The love you gave them though is in them, and that's something.
I am child free by choice. I did not have the emotional constitution to have children, nor the support system. It’s possible I wasn’t able to have them physically. It’s an exercise in trusting the Lord for when we might become frail elderly. I feel for your loss not having them and your step children not being in touch.
I am happy to hear that you are having your hip checked out because you will find the answer as to whether or not your hip is bad enough to replace yet. My twin sister had hers done two weeks ago after having one knee and then the other replaced and she is getting around pretty well on a walker (which is required by Kaiser to be used for a certain amount of time while healing) and says that she in far less pain than before her surgery. I agree with Gina Teskey when she said that there is no guarantee that your children will be available which is what I saw so often happen to older individuals while I was working at senior centers. By the way, I always love it when I see that you have sent an email and look forward to seeing what is on your mind that will make me think.
I am 87 and just had lateral hip replacement surgery. No complications, no need for narcotics, and still use a cane occasionally for ‘security’. Hope that you have a good experience .
I had only one child, our son Christopher, who died in 2012 at age 38. I, too, would love to have him call me up and say "Mom, let's go for a bike ride." He gave us one grandson, that's something. Life is full of rude awakenings, isn't it?
There is no guarantee your own children will be available when you age. They may live elsewhere or have very busy lives and projects to manage, so are unavailable.🤨
Good friendships are invaluable, we hold each other up😀
I'm childfree - the term I prefer- by marriage also. The partner I am with now, at 77, is also childfree, and we joke about having kids "someday." My own mother said it was the greatest joy of her life.
Regrets? A few, but as I listen to the joys and pains of my parenting friends, I am sometimes relieved that I didn't have children. I am dealing now with an aging beloved dog and some days my heart feels so heavy about her that I wonder if I could have survived parenthood!
I do believe it's a precious gift, to be a parent, and applaud those who do it well. I also know well that one can have a good life filled with wonderful relationships and meaning without having children!
I totally agree. I sympathize with your dog situation. That is so hard. Thank you for sharing this.
I prefer to be known as child free. Childless implies some sort of failure. I'll never consider myself a failure.
At this point in my life I consider myself fortunate. I'm 73, good health (so far), lots of interests and lovely friends. Although I'm own (with my dogs for company) I'm not lonely or regretful and treasure having time to myself.
Things could've turned out much worse . No guarantees your children will like you and keep in contact. I loved my job and was fortunate to work continuously for 40 years. In the end I may not have been a good mother .
Also here in Australia, the fastest growing demographic of homeless people is women over 50 !! A lot of women who have devoted their whole lives to their family, only to find themselves cast aside with no means of support. 😕
This touches close to home Sue, thank you. I look forward to reading your book, but perhaps not right now. I'm 60 but still in wonder about it, how could it be that my children, and grandchildren, are not here, that I really am living this whole life without that? I have adjusted my life to no longer be "looking in the bakery window" of what I yearn for, instead focusing on parts of life that I can participate in. I so appreciate how you over-share (in your words!). It brings an earthiness and humor to it all. Thank you so much. I'm real sorry about the lost connections with your stepchildren, there may have been no preventing it no matter what you did or didn't do, either way one of the messy parts of our humanness. The love you gave them though is in them, and that's something.
I am child free by choice. I did not have the emotional constitution to have children, nor the support system. It’s possible I wasn’t able to have them physically. It’s an exercise in trusting the Lord for when we might become frail elderly. I feel for your loss not having them and your step children not being in touch.
I am happy to hear that you are having your hip checked out because you will find the answer as to whether or not your hip is bad enough to replace yet. My twin sister had hers done two weeks ago after having one knee and then the other replaced and she is getting around pretty well on a walker (which is required by Kaiser to be used for a certain amount of time while healing) and says that she in far less pain than before her surgery. I agree with Gina Teskey when she said that there is no guarantee that your children will be available which is what I saw so often happen to older individuals while I was working at senior centers. By the way, I always love it when I see that you have sent an email and look forward to seeing what is on your mind that will make me think.
I am 87 and just had lateral hip replacement surgery. No complications, no need for narcotics, and still use a cane occasionally for ‘security’. Hope that you have a good experience .
I had only one child, our son Christopher, who died in 2012 at age 38. I, too, would love to have him call me up and say "Mom, let's go for a bike ride." He gave us one grandson, that's something. Life is full of rude awakenings, isn't it?
It really is. I'm so sorry about your son.