"That some of us cringe when the priest or minister goes on and on about the glory of families." Much recognition of this feeling for me as a childless woman, with ever decreasing small biological family!
Thank you for putting it into words for me and others. A thought provoking read.
I spent a winter week at Hedgebrook for a master class. (Participants pay, so no interrogating selection process!) Best week ever! I wanted to stay in my little Fir Cottage forever. Good luck. (P.S. I have no qualms about invisibility.)
Beautiful column, and yes I do notice those people too. Sometimes I feel it myself, in a small way. I hope you get this, you have so much to share with all of us!
My father died 15 years before my mother did and she often railed against being the one left behind; at how friends that were still coupled faded away when she didn't have another half, about being the "charity invite" to a social gathering. Since her death, I am acutely aware of the single older woman out and about in the world. I say hello if possible, offer assistance if needed, compliment a nice hat or scarf, inquiry about where they are off to or coming from in an airport. They are, like my mom, my role models - out in the world, doing their best to stay visible, to live, hopefully on their own terms, in this frazzled world. I hope you get that fellowship - you deserve it
I have collected a group of aunties over the years, as I have lost my own blood family. It is such a great thing for me, and I treasure this family of women friends.
I was thinking maybe you could devise your own retreat. A getaway where you could write during the day and then maybe hook up with a walking group, or even book club, in the evenings. That wouldn’t be a thing for your resume though. Other hobbies have retreats, quilting for example. And have you tried travel designed for solo travelers? Just curious how good those are.
Best wishes for your acceptance to the retreat you’re applying to!
Good ideas. That's sort of what I did last week by connecting my doctor's appointment in the valley with an evening with the Salem poetry group. I should look more into travel designed for solo travelers. Thanks.
I am excited for you regarding the chance of the residency program. Just from reading your thoughtful posts, I am convinced that you would be exactly one of the chosen ones.
I have never felt like I have been alone because I was born an identical twin and when we are together even today (we are 81) people quite often are drawn to us and if no one joins us we have each other. Of course, we have had separate lives which included marriage and kids. We have two other sisters, and we communicate daily via texts and gather weekly for our sisters' meetings. I am not alone because I don't stay alone. I volunteer 3 days a week doing what I love and go to church also. Sometimes I have to kick myself out of my home, but when I do, I am always grateful for my time away and love going home even more.
Bravo for you keeping so busy. I'm sure you are a valuable volunteer wherever you go. I'm jealous of all those sisters. I only got a brother, but he is wonderful, as I think you know.
Such an interesting perspective on being invisible…I hope you get that residency at Hedgebrook! Your writing packs a powerful punch…intriguing, intelligent, provocative and clearly inviting to a widely diverse audience of readers.
"That some of us cringe when the priest or minister goes on and on about the glory of families." Much recognition of this feeling for me as a childless woman, with ever decreasing small biological family!
Thank you for putting it into words for me and others. A thought provoking read.
I spent a winter week at Hedgebrook for a master class. (Participants pay, so no interrogating selection process!) Best week ever! I wanted to stay in my little Fir Cottage forever. Good luck. (P.S. I have no qualms about invisibility.)
I hope you get the spot at Hedgebrook!
Beautiful column, and yes I do notice those people too. Sometimes I feel it myself, in a small way. I hope you get this, you have so much to share with all of us!
I remember Topper! And The Ghost and Mrs. Muir!
Yes, feeling invisible mostly but like you there are some definite advantages. "I simply must share this with the girls." It's hilarious:
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1501943541642155
I love it!
Hilarious!!!!
My father died 15 years before my mother did and she often railed against being the one left behind; at how friends that were still coupled faded away when she didn't have another half, about being the "charity invite" to a social gathering. Since her death, I am acutely aware of the single older woman out and about in the world. I say hello if possible, offer assistance if needed, compliment a nice hat or scarf, inquiry about where they are off to or coming from in an airport. They are, like my mom, my role models - out in the world, doing their best to stay visible, to live, hopefully on their own terms, in this frazzled world. I hope you get that fellowship - you deserve it
I have collected a group of aunties over the years, as I have lost my own blood family. It is such a great thing for me, and I treasure this family of women friends.
Just to clarify - my attention isn't meant as condescension or pity. Just an "I see you" even if just in a passing moment
I get it. I love this.
I was thinking maybe you could devise your own retreat. A getaway where you could write during the day and then maybe hook up with a walking group, or even book club, in the evenings. That wouldn’t be a thing for your resume though. Other hobbies have retreats, quilting for example. And have you tried travel designed for solo travelers? Just curious how good those are.
Best wishes for your acceptance to the retreat you’re applying to!
Good ideas. That's sort of what I did last week by connecting my doctor's appointment in the valley with an evening with the Salem poetry group. I should look more into travel designed for solo travelers. Thanks.
I am excited for you regarding the chance of the residency program. Just from reading your thoughtful posts, I am convinced that you would be exactly one of the chosen ones.
I have never felt like I have been alone because I was born an identical twin and when we are together even today (we are 81) people quite often are drawn to us and if no one joins us we have each other. Of course, we have had separate lives which included marriage and kids. We have two other sisters, and we communicate daily via texts and gather weekly for our sisters' meetings. I am not alone because I don't stay alone. I volunteer 3 days a week doing what I love and go to church also. Sometimes I have to kick myself out of my home, but when I do, I am always grateful for my time away and love going home even more.
Bravo for you keeping so busy. I'm sure you are a valuable volunteer wherever you go. I'm jealous of all those sisters. I only got a brother, but he is wonderful, as I think you know.
Such an interesting perspective on being invisible…I hope you get that residency at Hedgebrook! Your writing packs a powerful punch…intriguing, intelligent, provocative and clearly inviting to a widely diverse audience of readers.
(One of my “dream locations” is Whidbey.)
Thank you. Your support means a lot.