Does Being Alone Mean You Can't Own a Home?

Let's look at the possibilities

I own a four-bedroom ranch-style home on the Oregon coast. I live there alone.

I’m lucky. It gets awful quiet sometimes. It’s a lot to take care of. But it’s mine.

I could never have bought this property by myself. My Navy-veteran husband and I barely scraped together enough money as a couple, and that was with the help of a GI loan.

On my own, I might always be a renter.

When I was single, I never thought about buying a home. Shoot, I didn’t even buy a car by myself. I never made a ton of money, even when I was working full-time as a newspaper editor. Writing, teaching, speaking, singing, and publishing books are not dependable money-makers. I have always chosen art over money, and that limits my choices. I’m willing to live with that.

When my father died, I could have kept his house in San Jose and lived there. But by then, my life was here in South Beach. The people I used to know in the old neighborhood had all moved away or died. My childhood home was falling apart. Without the money from selling the house, I wouldn’t have been able to fix the electrical and plumbing problems, replace the ancient roof, or update the heating system. It broke my heart when the new owners demolished it to build their own butt-ugly mini-mansion, but our family’s story on that property was over. I had to let it go.

Rent or own? Which is better? If you don’t inherit a house from your parents and didn’t buy one with a partner, can you do it by yourself? It is possible. I know quite a few single people who have bought pretty nice homes for themselves. They had well-paying jobs and/or inherited money that helped, but they did it on their own.

Recently, I wrote here about trying to survive on Social Security alone. It’s not easy, but some people do it. The other day, I was talking to a friend who made sure she had a home and no debts when she retired. She lives in a rustic cabin that many of us would not find comfortable, but by living a simple life, she survives on $800 a month Social Security.

How basic a life are you willing to live? How much space do you need? How much can you afford?

If you have enough money for a down payment and closing costs, and if your income to debt ratio looks good, the banks don’t care if only one name goes on the mortgage. They look for someone who is financially stable, with a good credit score, some savings, and steady income.

A lot of married couples live on just one spouse’s income. If one person in a couple is mired in debt, it can be worse than trying to buy a home alone.

Can you do it? Talk to your bank, credit union, or a mortgage broker. See if you can get pre-approved for a loan. They will do the math and tell you how much money you can borrow. If you don’t have enough assets right now, they can offer advice on how to get to the point where you do qualify for a loan.

I like owning the place where I live. I appreciate the security–no landlord is going to decide to sell and kick me out–and the freedom to do whatever I want–chartreuse and purple walls? Why not?

No one can tell me I can’t have a dog or cat or llama or chickens . . .

I like knowing my monthly payments are buying something, that I’m building up equity and someday, with luck, I (or my heirs) will be able to sell it at a profit. Each payment moves me farther from being homeless and living on the street.

The upkeep is no picnic. It gets more difficult with every passing year. But I like looking at the red roses and blue hydrangeas blooming out front and the bush out back where I found the first spring salmonberries this morning, and knowing it’s mine.

I have rented plenty of apartments and houses. There were rules, but I could live with them. When something broke, I could call the landlord.

I did not enjoy having the landlord show up whenever he or she felt like it. I did not like depending on them for repairs or improvements I could handle more quickly myself. I did not like that I was always one rent payment from having nowhere to live.

I’m a big-time nester. Some people aren’t. They don’t want to be tied down or spend their free time mowing lawns and fixing wonky sinks. I get that. Some days, I don’t want to deal with any of it. But I like knowing this is my home until I die or choose to give it up.

How important is it to you to own a home vs. renting one? If you don’t own your residence now, does it seem possible to ever buy one in the future? Are you up to the challenge of maintaining a home by yourself? How much space do you need?

There are options. If you’re just one person, you can buy a condo, mobile home, or tiny home. You might buy a duplex where you can live on one side and rent the other. You could rent out part of your house for extra income.

If you have a steady income and can save enough for a down payment, it’s possible. Do you want to? That’s up to you. And only you.

I am no real estate expert, and we have barely touched the surface of this subject, but let’s talk about it. I welcome your comments.

Additional Reading

Buying a Home as a Single Person: What to Know | Chase

PacRes Mortgage | Buying a House as a Single Person: Your Go-To…

9 Important Tips for Single Home Buyers

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How did I end up alone? My first marriage ended in divorce. My second husband died of Alzheimer’s after we had moved to the Oregon coast, far from family. I never had any kids, only dogs. Now I live by myself in a big house in the woods. You can read our story in my memoir, No Way Out of This: Loving a Partner with Alzheimer’s, available at your favorite bookseller. Visit https://www.suelick.com for information on all of my books.