How can we get through Valentine's Day alone?
It's all in how you look at it
DON’T FORGET OUR ZOOM PARTY AT 11 A.M. PDT TODAY, WHICH MEANS IT’S VERY SOON. SEE THE LINK BELOW.
I have never been a huge Valentine’s Day fan. Those days in elementary school when teachers had all the kids give Valentine’s cards to each other were just stressful. What if we didn’t get one? What if we ran out of cards and missed someone important? What if they thought our cards were stupid?
It’s still a drag in adulthood. All that advertising and pressure to do something romantic puts a burden on everyone and makes those of us who are alone feel as if we have somehow failed.
When Fred and I were married, we didn’t do much for this holiday, other than exchange a kiss and maybe a card. The one time he tried to make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day was a disaster. Like now, the Olympics were happening, and I really wanted to watch the men’s figure skating, but Fred had made a reservation at this posh restaurant and we had to go. It was crowded and so loud we couldn’t hear each other. Everything on the menu cost more than we could afford. Plus, my attention kept drifting toward the TV I could see in the bar. It was too far away to see clearly, but I could tell I was missing the skating. All in all, it was not that fun.
Fred is gone now. No more kisses, but I expect to be too busy tomorrow to think much about it. I suggest you do the same.
I was going to create a list of survival tips, but others have already done a wonderful job of it, so I offer the links below. The principles are the same in each one: Change your mindset. Don’t dwell on what you don’t have. Do something nice for yourself. Gather your single friends and do something together. Stay away from social media and romantic movies. Go for a hike.
“Ten Ways to Enjoy Valentine’s Day Solo”
“Single on Valentine’s Day? 12 Ways to Celebrate Solo (And Actually Enjoy Yourself)”—This is written for men, but it works for everyone.
“How to Survive Valentine’s Day Alone with Confidence”
What tips would you add to the list?
Our pre-Valentine’s Day Zoom is today, Friday, Feb. 13 at 11 a.m. PDT. Here is the link to the Zoom room. (Don’t click it until after 10:30 a.m.) Our past Zooms have been wonderful; I hope to see some of you there.
How did I end up alone? My first marriage ended in divorce. My second husband died of Alzheimer’s after we had moved to the Oregon coast, far from family. I never had any kids, only dogs and cats. Now I live by myself in a big house in the woods. You can read our story in my memoir, No Way Out of This: Loving a Partner with Alzheimer’s, available at your favorite bookseller. Visit https://www.suelick.com for information on all of my books.
I've been alone so long it doesn't matter anymore. All that Christmas-wonder-Valentine's-Day-romantic stuff was for a previous iteration of me, a different life phase I'm not in anymore. It almost feels like it happened to someone else.
For me, these days just don't exist anymore. I just don't care that it's Christmas or Valentine's Day or my birthday or whatever. I live in my own little world by myself. The rest of the world doesn't notice me, and I don't notice it. We have nothing to do with one another.
Many years ago my husband ,myself and another couple went out for a meal on a Friday night ,after visiting 2 or 3 booked up restaurants the penny finally dropped it was Valentines day ,we ended up having a snack in a pub.
Our long marriages clearly were not based on romance but are still going after almost 60 years.