Things You Can Do to Feel Safer Alone

Besides adopting a rottweiler

Photo by David Clode on Unsplash

My neighbor laughs at me for keeping my doors and windows locked. My car, too.

Statistics online show 20 to 25 percent of people don’t lock their doors, even when they leave the house.

I come from a big city. During my first marriage, our apartment was burglarized. We came home to find precious items gone and all our drawers dumped, our most private things exposed. During those years, our cars were broken into three times.

Later in a nice house in a lousy neighborhood, someone shot out my car window. That did not create confidence. The same someone may have stolen many of the Christmas lights in the neighborhood that year. That house backed up to a major thoroughfare. Anybody could hop the fence and get in. We had three big people and a dog living there, but I’d still lock the doors.

My father kept the screen door locked when he was in the house, so even people with keys, like his kids, couldn’t get in. It was annoying. Once in a medical emergency, the door had to be broken open, but now that I’m older and hearing impaired like he was, I understand.

I haven’t resorted to carrying a key on a slinky around my wrist, but I suppose it could happen.

Are we less safe alone than with other people? I’m not sure that’s always the case. Even if we lived with other people, there would be times when we’d be home alone and other times when no one would be there. So, is this any different?

After my last post and your comments about scary things we hear or think we hear when we’re home alone, I got to thinking about our fears and what we can do to feel more secure.

My only invaders here in the woods have been the four-legged kind—dogs, cats, elk, bears, raccoons, possums, rats, mice, and bugs.

I’m not terribly nervous about human intruders here, but my anxiety has notched up a bit as I’ve researched the possibilities. Do we who live alone need to be security conscious? Yes. More so than people who don’t live alone? Yes. Are women more at risk than men? Sadly, also yes. But we can take steps to protect our safety.

My best protection is my across-the-street neighbors, Pat and Paula. They have called to check on me when unfamiliar cars appeared in my driveway, when weather warnings were issued, and when they didn’t see me out walking. They have helped me with fallen trees, taking big dogs to the vet, and driving me to urgent care. Pat is a hunter with lots of guns if needed. My only weapon is my words.

We solo folks can worry about lots of things, including robbers, rapists and murderers, fires and other emergencies, broken pipes and roofs caving in, or being ill or injured and unable to get help. In the coming months, we’ll talk about all of these and more, but today, I want to share some tips for making yourself and your home safer.  

• Get to know your neighbors. This is the greatest security system, and it costs nothing. If caring neighbors see something off, they’ll check. If they don’t see you around, or if they know you’re away from home and see someone poking around your house, they’ll check. A little neighborly nosiness can be a big help.

• Consider installing a security system if you can afford it. Even just a sign that says you have a security system is a deterrent

• Install motion detector cameras and lights. Did you know there are devices you can screw into your light socket to make your porch light go on when it detects motion?

• When you’re not home, make it look like you are. Leave lights on a timer. Leave a TV or radio on. Blast some music.

• Lock your doors coming and going, even if your neighborhood seems safe. That includes the deadbolt. If you don’t have a deadbolt, get one. Don’t forget that an open garage door offers easy access to the inside of the house.

• Don’t hide a key anywhere a smart burglar can find it, like in a flowerpot or under a doormat. I have a key hidden on my property where I hope no one will find it, but a better idea is to give a copy to a neighbor you trust. My neighbor Pat has a copy. And yes, I have locked myself out. It is so easy to do.

• Consider installing a “smart lock.” You get in with a “pin” code on a keypad. As a bonus, if you want to give family or workers access, you can share the code and not worry about a key. After they leave, you can change the code.

• Install a video doorbell that lets you see who’s there even if they don’t ring the bell.

• If you’re taking over a home from someone else, get new locks installed. You don’t know who has keys to the old locks.

• Have an exit plan. If there’s danger at the front door, how else can you get out?

• Look at your house from a burglar’s point of view both at night and during the day. What can they see? Are there valuable items in sight? You might want to close the curtains at night when you are on clear display with the lights on.

• Be careful about the information you share online and in person. Don’t tell the world you’re going to be gone. Don’t tell people exactly where you live. Don’t tell them you live alone (that cat’s out of the bag for me) On your voicemail recording, don’t say you’re not home.

• Get a dog! I have never had anyone mess with me when I answer the door with an 80-pound dog at my side. Even a little dog’s barking will help scare intruders away.

• Be careful who you let in. You can say no to anyone you don’t trust. Make sure workers show ID before opening the door. If you’re uncomfortable, have a friend or neighbor come over.

• Never let a stranger enter your home to use the telephone. Offer to make the call for them.

• Stop mail and newspaper delivery if you’re going to be gone or have a neighbor pick them up.

• Don’t put your whole name on the mailbox, just initials or the address.

• Are there dark places to hide around your house? Do what you can to get rid of them.

• If you’re renting—highly likely if you’re living on one income—ask about criminal activity in the area and about measures the landlord has taken or would allow you to take to increase security.

Some tricky tricks to try:

Leave two pairs of shoes by the door so people think there’s more than one person living there.

• Leave a pair of men’s boots in sight.

• Invite a neighbor with lots of friends to use your driveway. It will look like you have people around.

• Keep a container of wasp spray by the door in case a human (or a wasp) threatens you. (Mace or pepper spray will also work)

• When you leave, holler goodbye as if someone was in there.

• Plant bushes with lots of thorns under the windows to deter access

• If you live in a multi-story building, don’t live on the ground floor. Make it too hard to get up to your place to break in.

• Keep your car key fob near your bed and if you feel unsafe, push the alarm button.

• A cheap door blocker/wedge can keep people from opening the door.

I could write a lot more about safety, and I will in upcoming posts, but this is a start. Please share your own tips in the comments, along with your stories. Thanks to you all, I’m learning a lot and making some changes. I have decided not to cut down the thorny roses under the window, and now I’m closing my blinds at night. I’m looking for a motion detector light. And I am definitely getting another dog after Thanksgiving.

Photo by David Clode on Unsplash

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How did I end up alone? My first marriage ended in divorce. My second husband died of Alzheimer’s after we had moved to the Oregon coast, far from family. I never had any kids, only dogs. Now I live by myself in a big house in the woods. You can read our story in my new memoir, No Way Out of This: Loving a Partner with Alzheimer’s, available now at your favorite bookseller. Visit https://www.suelick.com for information on all of my books.