12 Comments
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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Beautiful and touching Sue. Thanks for sharing more of your story ❤

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Simone Senisin's avatar

I relate to a lot of your story … so many parallels. Thank you for sharing. I haven’t watched the panel discussion , time zone meant l missed it live. Thank you for the reminder and thank you for sharing your open heart. ❤️ 🙏🏼

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Ursula McCabe's avatar

Very warm and empowering. Life doesn't give us all or exactly what we want. Sometimes we didn't know what we wanted. But the gratefulness is the main ingredient here. Thank you !

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Sue Fagalde Lick's avatar

Thank you!

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Nic's avatar

Thank you for sharing your stories. I find them very comforting. How did I end up alone? My partner of 12 years died in 2016. I haven’t dated anyone since. Never wanted children, so no regrets there. Most days I’m fine. I have friends and I’m busy. But I’m having surgery on Friday and will have an arm in a sling for a month after that and at the moment am feeling very sorry for myself. This too shall pass, I will muddle through.

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Sue Fagalde Lick's avatar

I'm sorry for your loss. You will muddle through with your sling, but it's okay to admit you hate going through this.

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Laurel Hunt's avatar

Thank you for this lovely tribute to your marriage. I found your insight that had you known what the future held, you would still have married Fred, so moving. I'm alone now because I married a man 19 years older than me. I was divorced, and he was a widower. Neither of us had children. When we became a couple, I knew how our story was likely to end. But there are no guarantees in life, and I chose to love and be loved. It's hard to be alone later in life, but I've learned how to create community and balance, while accepting there will be missing pieces in my life but also freedom to live life on my own terms. I learned so much from him about facing the challenges of aging and loss, and am grateful for our years together.

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Sue Fagalde Lick's avatar

That's beautiful, Laurel. Fred was 14 years older than me, so I understand. I knew in my head what ages we would be in the future, but it didn't register in my gut--until it did. Thank you for sharing this.

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Mary Austin (she/her)'s avatar

This is fun to read. I’m so glad you had this big, sweet love in your life.

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Shakil Ahmed's avatar

I know your first husband was sadistic and torchered you repeatedly and that is why you got divorced from this vandal. However your husbad Fred was a saintlike person who gave you too much comfort and amenities in every possible way for 28 years. However he had 3 children from his earlier marriage and vaectomy as well. Could he tell you about vesectomy before marriage or

hidden it? You could have a few children which you still miss and always repent over it? Had he

dodged you about vasectomy? Really sad over it!!

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Sue Fagalde Lick's avatar

Shakil, you have got it all wrong. My first husband was a good person with a few flaws, and I loved him dearly. Please do not say such things about him. Yes, I knew all about Fred's kids and his vasectomy long before we married. I made the choice to marry him anyway.

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Shakil Ahmed's avatar

Now it is clear. However why do you still repent not having your own kids and your loneliness? Do not mind it you are yourself are responsible for it to some extent? Is it so? I do not have any grudge against your former husbands. If they were good then

I am happy over it.

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