Social media are the worst for tempting people to compare themselves with others and a lot of people boast about their happy families, holidays etc. It's important to remember though that you're getting an edited version of their lives where all the not so glorious bits have been left out. I feel there's something sad about people who feel the need to boast. Truly happy people don't feel the need for it. It's good to have a cry, and a daily gratitude practice is very helpful.
I cry often watching movies or a series. There is one on HBO from Great Britain called The Dog House about rescue dogs and people who need rescuing too. I love this show and I don’t even have a dog. Maybe when in 10 or 15 years when I’m done traveling and more settled.
I wish for circumstances sometimes to be different- feeling good in a group of people - but I’ll always have a strange aloofness I think which separates me, and that’s ok
Comparisons are always mean. One is up and the other down, if it’s equal there’s no comparison.
We never learn even one true thing about ourselves from comparisons.
Sad to say, we learned it in our school systems.
Have you ever read the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz? It’s about this very topic, how to know ourselves. (the original version is the best, not the revised one he rewrote with his son)
So glad to hear you played your cool steel drum instead.
Comparison is so hard not to do. I think jealousy is a good guide of what you might like but comparison isn’t useful. I do get caught up in though and why I’ve distanced myself from social media and WhatsApp groups.
I love your Halloween tradition! 🎃 I feel like I want to incorporate something similar into my life.
I'm wondering if there is something wrong with me! I never compare myself. I am a loner and have always been one. I was an only child and I love my life as a loner, love how I live, love what I have (which is not that much), and never look at another life or lifestyle in a comparison mode. hmmmm.
Fucking yes to all of this. But I especially appreciate the list of positives…
My current and future projected state of aloneness is still a shock to me and I often catch myself realizing how for the last 30+ years I never expected to be alone. For better or worse, when I would witness the lifestyles of those who were alone I'd not so secretly celebrate the freedom that they had and also be grateful that for the support and love that I had around me. There's a great episode in 30 Rock where Tina Fey's character is afraid of choking to death alone in her apartment, with nobody to help her perform the Heimlich maneuver. That's the kind of situation I "knew" I would never be in…
Why would I? I was married to the best woman in the universe and had the most amazing kid as a consequence of that…
Well, nothing lasts forever and neither did she and so the title goes to someone else, and the kid goes off to college - a good thing!
And I do like being alone.
I function well alone, and my wife and I were both very independent people, which made our union incredibly strong I'm still hearing about it from people wanting to memorialize her and what our relationship meant to them in their lives. Who knew? And also, why fucking wait to say something like this people… just sayin'. Sidenote: when in doubt don't wait - better yet just don't wait. Period.
Well now I've got to figure shit out.
And I'm just glad that there are others also figuring shit out.
And maybe together we could actually accomplish that.
I think we all have those feelings of comparison no matter what our life situation. Perhaps it’s not having someone to jog us out of them. I relate totally. I work on ‘gratitude’ because there is so much in my life to be grateful for. And so many people worse off. A silent comparison with those is a reality check. 😏
PS My psychologist recommended a good cry over a film. It releases those feelings of sadness. 👍
I feel it when I see couples in the street holding hands. Then later I see couples at the supermarket or department store with the grumpy husband pushing the shopping trolley or waiting outside the change rooms and I am glad I don't have to contend with that.
I feel the same way. I hated shopping with my husband. I'd much rather zoom through the store on my own, pushing my own danged trolley (we call it cart).
Social media are the worst for tempting people to compare themselves with others and a lot of people boast about their happy families, holidays etc. It's important to remember though that you're getting an edited version of their lives where all the not so glorious bits have been left out. I feel there's something sad about people who feel the need to boast. Truly happy people don't feel the need for it. It's good to have a cry, and a daily gratitude practice is very helpful.
I cry often watching movies or a series. There is one on HBO from Great Britain called The Dog House about rescue dogs and people who need rescuing too. I love this show and I don’t even have a dog. Maybe when in 10 or 15 years when I’m done traveling and more settled.
So much misery when we think about what we "should" have or "should" be doing. I think you are right that acceptance can be a relief.
Love that drum!
I wish for circumstances sometimes to be different- feeling good in a group of people - but I’ll always have a strange aloofness I think which separates me, and that’s ok
Glad you jumped off the comparison bus.
Comparisons are always mean. One is up and the other down, if it’s equal there’s no comparison.
We never learn even one true thing about ourselves from comparisons.
Sad to say, we learned it in our school systems.
Have you ever read the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz? It’s about this very topic, how to know ourselves. (the original version is the best, not the revised one he rewrote with his son)
So glad to hear you played your cool steel drum instead.
((Hugs))
You’re an awesome bean❣️
Hugs to you. Some days just hurt. Others don't. And that's true in a relationship or not. But your point about comparison is good.
Comparison is so hard not to do. I think jealousy is a good guide of what you might like but comparison isn’t useful. I do get caught up in though and why I’ve distanced myself from social media and WhatsApp groups.
I love your Halloween tradition! 🎃 I feel like I want to incorporate something similar into my life.
I'm wondering if there is something wrong with me! I never compare myself. I am a loner and have always been one. I was an only child and I love my life as a loner, love how I live, love what I have (which is not that much), and never look at another life or lifestyle in a comparison mode. hmmmm.
I think you're just fine.
Fucking yes to all of this. But I especially appreciate the list of positives…
My current and future projected state of aloneness is still a shock to me and I often catch myself realizing how for the last 30+ years I never expected to be alone. For better or worse, when I would witness the lifestyles of those who were alone I'd not so secretly celebrate the freedom that they had and also be grateful that for the support and love that I had around me. There's a great episode in 30 Rock where Tina Fey's character is afraid of choking to death alone in her apartment, with nobody to help her perform the Heimlich maneuver. That's the kind of situation I "knew" I would never be in…
Why would I? I was married to the best woman in the universe and had the most amazing kid as a consequence of that…
Well, nothing lasts forever and neither did she and so the title goes to someone else, and the kid goes off to college - a good thing!
And I do like being alone.
I function well alone, and my wife and I were both very independent people, which made our union incredibly strong I'm still hearing about it from people wanting to memorialize her and what our relationship meant to them in their lives. Who knew? And also, why fucking wait to say something like this people… just sayin'. Sidenote: when in doubt don't wait - better yet just don't wait. Period.
Well now I've got to figure shit out.
And I'm just glad that there are others also figuring shit out.
And maybe together we could actually accomplish that.
Thanks, John! We can do this.
I think we all have those feelings of comparison no matter what our life situation. Perhaps it’s not having someone to jog us out of them. I relate totally. I work on ‘gratitude’ because there is so much in my life to be grateful for. And so many people worse off. A silent comparison with those is a reality check. 😏
PS My psychologist recommended a good cry over a film. It releases those feelings of sadness. 👍
Totally agree. A good cry helps a lot.
I feel it when I see couples in the street holding hands. Then later I see couples at the supermarket or department store with the grumpy husband pushing the shopping trolley or waiting outside the change rooms and I am glad I don't have to contend with that.
I feel the same way. I hated shopping with my husband. I'd much rather zoom through the store on my own, pushing my own danged trolley (we call it cart).