Chinese personal safety app asks, "Are you dead?"
No friend to check on you? Download an app
Are you dead?” asks a new app from China that is gaining popularity. A variation on the many programs that provide regular check-ins for people who live alone, it is designed not just for lonely elders but for people of any age who work at home and may not see anyone for days.
A screen comes up asking “Are you dead?” with a ghost symbol. If you don’t press a green button indicating you are still alive, emergency contacts are alerted.
The name gets some people’s hackles up. In fact, the U.S. version is now called Demumu. You can get it for ninety-nine cents. I like the original name. It doesn’t mess around. Of course, no one will ever answer yes.
“Are you dead?” joins at least a dozen other programs that do the same thing. I have signed up for Snug Safety, which will contact me every day to make sure I’m all right. I suspect it will become annoying within a few days, but I’m going to try it.
Other such apps include:
There’s a slightly frightening program, Jubilee TV, that lets family members check on their vulnerable relatives through their TV. With their phones, they can monitor what they’re watching, change channels, and initiate video chats.
I definitely see value in having some kind of check-in system if we live alone and don’t see people regularly. Remember Saturday’s post where I noted that if I had drowned on the beach no one would have noticed me missing?
Having such an app might ease our fears of lying dead or disabled and invisible for days, weeks or longer. But the need for these things makes me sad. Isn’t this something that should be done by human beings checking on other human beings? Are we so short of people who care that we have to turn to machines?
Also, I would hope the question goes beyond “Are you dead?” to “How are you? Are you eating, sleeping, getting out? What are you doing today? Is anything bothering you?” Being okay is more than continuing to breathe and being able to poke a button on a phone.
We live-alones need to check on each other, even if it’s just a text to say, “I’m still here. I thought about you. Are you still all right?”
If the answer is, “No, I’m not all right,” you have a chance to give or receive help, from a ride to the ER to the name of a handyman to fix the leaky toilet or the title of a feel-good movie. Maybe you could just text them a photo that would make them smile.
I received a postcard yesterday from a family member in response to my Christmas card. The note covers every available inch not occupied by the address and the stamp. What a gift. Now I know he’s okay and still cares.
I hate that we need an app to make sure we’re still alive. But sometimes, when we don’t have that kind of a connection with another person, it does the job.
Do you have anyone you are in touch with every day? If not, do you wish you did? Would you sign up for an “Are you dead?” type of app?
If I could, I would check on all of you, but that’s almost 1,600 people. Nope, can’t do that. All it takes is one person and one minute to ask, “How are you?” And for someone to really want to know the answer.
Photo by Joseph Chan on Unsplash
How did I end up alone? My first marriage ended in divorce. My second husband died of Alzheimer’s after we had moved to the Oregon coast, far from family. I never had any kids, only dogs and cats. Now I live by myself in a big house in the woods. You can read our story in my memoir, No Way Out of This: Loving a Partner with Alzheimer’s, available at your favorite bookseller. Visit https://www.suelick.com for information on all of my books.
When my husband was unable to go out, and also the pandemic was happening, he found himself very depressed. He decided that he needed pen pals, so he got a bunch of postcards and just started writing to people. Being a professional artist, with artist friends, he started to get a ton of fun mail. He said it really helped him during this time. He's been gone for two years, and one of his friends and I still write to each other. It is a wonderful way to keep in touch with a dear friend who lives so far away. Getting real mail also is fun. Email is great, but snail mail is better.
I'm so glad that your relative sent you a fun post card! We all need connections.
My mother-in-law and her best friend of many years (both in England) had worked in care homes. They called each other ever morning and evening, to check in. When my MIL died on the way to a doctor’s appointment, her friend was the one who alerted everyone. She had heard from her that evening. 🙁