When my husband was unable to go out, and also the pandemic was happening, he found himself very depressed. He decided that he needed pen pals, so he got a bunch of postcards and just started writing to people. Being a professional artist, with artist friends, he started to get a ton of fun mail. He said it really helped him during this time. He's been gone for two years, and one of his friends and I still write to each other. It is a wonderful way to keep in touch with a dear friend who lives so far away. Getting real mail also is fun. Email is great, but snail mail is better.
I'm so glad that your relative sent you a fun post card! We all need connections.
My mother-in-law and her best friend of many years (both in England) had worked in care homes. They called each other ever morning and evening, to check in. When my MIL died on the way to a doctor’s appointment, her friend was the one who alerted everyone. She had heard from her that evening. 🙁
Wow that Jubilee TV sounds wicked. Maybe it was originally created for little ones? I've got a twin brother who lives alone. I sometimes wonder if he is okay when I don't hear from him in days. Growing up twins we had similar speech patterns, but we don't share mental telepathy. An app would be good in our case. Apple and Google sense my every move. I'm guessing they could know when I am not well. These days the political climate is affecting my friends. Many agree that it might be nicer to stay snuggled in bed rather than face the day. I choose to turn off the media and start my day.
Send them the Monty Python bit........ I'm feeling much better now! Sounds like they haven't seen it. Sorry, the flu is warping my sense of humor to the dark side. I would have a couple people I called every day, and vice versa. Instead of an app. I had a friend I called everyday during my divorce. A very strong man, I was afraid of my husband at that point. Made me feel safer.
"But the need for these things makes me sad. Isn’t this something that should be done by human beings checking on other human beings? Are we so short of people who care that we have to turn to machines?" I agree. Our alienation and isolation have gone too far if we have multiple companies with apps for this.
I have heard of people who live alone who set up mutual check-ins with friends. They text or call once a day just to say hi and make sure they're both doing OK. I might do something like that if my husband goes before I do.
When I was younger and lived alone, the only time I really got scared for my survival was when I had a bad flu, with a high fever and coughing that left me breathless. I called a friend and asked her to call me the next day to make sure I was doing better, and told her if I didn't answer, call for emergency assistance. Luckily my fever broke that night so when she called, I was indeed doing better. But it reminds me not to be afraid to ask for that kind of help when we need it.
My mother has used Snug since 2021. There have been two days in all that time of technical difficulties, when the app wouldn’t allow her to check in or she didn't get the notification. That's pretty good.
OK, I'm going to say this right up front so there's no misunderstanding. I am not going to say the following for self-pity. It is statement of fact. First off, hubby and I have no children. Neither of our families reach out to see how we are doing. I get no invitations from my family. We get invites for Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas from our niece on hubby's side. We are part of a group text but it is strictly sports related. I am fortunate though in that I am active in a recovery program and have made quite a few friends there. If something were to happen to either one of us no one in our families would be aware. It is what it is. I can see why people have created apps for this kind of thing. It is sad though that it is necessary.
I hear you, Suzie. I have a similar situation with my own family, much of it due to distance, but also me not being on their radar. We have to depend on our friends. It is sad.
That's quite a blunt way to go about it, WOW! One of the things I like about social is the ability to put up a post about how I'm doing, basically I'm not dead yet! Or to say Help! I get a response pretty quick 😁.
My friend at the bank got sick, at work, and our branch manager rushed her to the local hospital. Fainting or weird seizure, kind of scary. Gina got her admitted, then came back to the bank. At the end of the day Gina ran back to check on her, and the lady at the desk didn't speak great English. What Gina heard was..... she has departed........ Gina almost passed out! What the lady meant was she had gone home, but noone thought to call the bank! We had a good laugh about it later on, and the lady's poor choice of phrase.
I have been using an app like this for the past 8 years, I moved to a new city far from my usual friends, and I felt I needed some what to be sure someone would know if I wasn’t ok. Back in November 2014, in Rotterdam, they found a lady who’d been gone for over 10 years, but as her pension went into her bank account and all of her bills were paid from it including rent and utilities, no one knew she was gone until the owners of the building wanted to do some maintenance — and couldn’t reach her and after trying for some time, they requested that a welfare check was done — from the pile of post in front of the door, they recognised she’d been gone for 10 years. I didn’t want that to happen to me, so I started with an app that basically asks me each day at 10am to reply, and if I don’t then it sends a text message to my emergency contact, who knows that my neighbour has a key and also knows what my car looks like - and can see if my car is here and I’m not home, can come do a check. I hope this is never needed, but I miss the question often enough that we know the process works!!!
Your blog, and these posts, have made me realise that the people who would notice if my husband and i aren't coming out of our house for days on end are a 35 year golf/ex work colleague of my 79 Yr old husband!
My mates from my exercise classes would notice in about 1-2 weeks.
Family wouldn't know as not local, and only make contact if I initiate it!
Close friends aren't local so would only notice I'm not engaging with Whatsapp!
I know were not the only ones in this situation.
I also realise that my world will turn upside down and end up on a different axis if my husband dies before me. I am 'only' 65 so chances are he will.
People talk about "future proofing" their homes.
We need to future proof our friends sphere and hobbies/interests too maybe
When my husband was unable to go out, and also the pandemic was happening, he found himself very depressed. He decided that he needed pen pals, so he got a bunch of postcards and just started writing to people. Being a professional artist, with artist friends, he started to get a ton of fun mail. He said it really helped him during this time. He's been gone for two years, and one of his friends and I still write to each other. It is a wonderful way to keep in touch with a dear friend who lives so far away. Getting real mail also is fun. Email is great, but snail mail is better.
I'm so glad that your relative sent you a fun post card! We all need connections.
My mother-in-law and her best friend of many years (both in England) had worked in care homes. They called each other ever morning and evening, to check in. When my MIL died on the way to a doctor’s appointment, her friend was the one who alerted everyone. She had heard from her that evening. 🙁
A friend and I text good morning every day. We started when our kids left for college in 2015.
Wow that Jubilee TV sounds wicked. Maybe it was originally created for little ones? I've got a twin brother who lives alone. I sometimes wonder if he is okay when I don't hear from him in days. Growing up twins we had similar speech patterns, but we don't share mental telepathy. An app would be good in our case. Apple and Google sense my every move. I'm guessing they could know when I am not well. These days the political climate is affecting my friends. Many agree that it might be nicer to stay snuggled in bed rather than face the day. I choose to turn off the media and start my day.
Send them the Monty Python bit........ I'm feeling much better now! Sounds like they haven't seen it. Sorry, the flu is warping my sense of humor to the dark side. I would have a couple people I called every day, and vice versa. Instead of an app. I had a friend I called everyday during my divorce. A very strong man, I was afraid of my husband at that point. Made me feel safer.
"But the need for these things makes me sad. Isn’t this something that should be done by human beings checking on other human beings? Are we so short of people who care that we have to turn to machines?" I agree. Our alienation and isolation have gone too far if we have multiple companies with apps for this.
I have heard of people who live alone who set up mutual check-ins with friends. They text or call once a day just to say hi and make sure they're both doing OK. I might do something like that if my husband goes before I do.
When I was younger and lived alone, the only time I really got scared for my survival was when I had a bad flu, with a high fever and coughing that left me breathless. I called a friend and asked her to call me the next day to make sure I was doing better, and told her if I didn't answer, call for emergency assistance. Luckily my fever broke that night so when she called, I was indeed doing better. But it reminds me not to be afraid to ask for that kind of help when we need it.
My mother has used Snug since 2021. There have been two days in all that time of technical difficulties, when the app wouldn’t allow her to check in or she didn't get the notification. That's pretty good.
I wish I could talk to you daily -normal talks (I'm 17 year old girl from India)
OK, I'm going to say this right up front so there's no misunderstanding. I am not going to say the following for self-pity. It is statement of fact. First off, hubby and I have no children. Neither of our families reach out to see how we are doing. I get no invitations from my family. We get invites for Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas from our niece on hubby's side. We are part of a group text but it is strictly sports related. I am fortunate though in that I am active in a recovery program and have made quite a few friends there. If something were to happen to either one of us no one in our families would be aware. It is what it is. I can see why people have created apps for this kind of thing. It is sad though that it is necessary.
I hear you, Suzie. I have a similar situation with my own family, much of it due to distance, but also me not being on their radar. We have to depend on our friends. It is sad.
That's quite a blunt way to go about it, WOW! One of the things I like about social is the ability to put up a post about how I'm doing, basically I'm not dead yet! Or to say Help! I get a response pretty quick 😁.
My friend at the bank got sick, at work, and our branch manager rushed her to the local hospital. Fainting or weird seizure, kind of scary. Gina got her admitted, then came back to the bank. At the end of the day Gina ran back to check on her, and the lady at the desk didn't speak great English. What Gina heard was..... she has departed........ Gina almost passed out! What the lady meant was she had gone home, but noone thought to call the bank! We had a good laugh about it later on, and the lady's poor choice of phrase.
Yikes. What a difference a word can make.
I have been using an app like this for the past 8 years, I moved to a new city far from my usual friends, and I felt I needed some what to be sure someone would know if I wasn’t ok. Back in November 2014, in Rotterdam, they found a lady who’d been gone for over 10 years, but as her pension went into her bank account and all of her bills were paid from it including rent and utilities, no one knew she was gone until the owners of the building wanted to do some maintenance — and couldn’t reach her and after trying for some time, they requested that a welfare check was done — from the pile of post in front of the door, they recognised she’d been gone for 10 years. I didn’t want that to happen to me, so I started with an app that basically asks me each day at 10am to reply, and if I don’t then it sends a text message to my emergency contact, who knows that my neighbour has a key and also knows what my car looks like - and can see if my car is here and I’m not home, can come do a check. I hope this is never needed, but I miss the question often enough that we know the process works!!!
Ten years!!!! Holy cow. I'm glad you have an app checking on you. Mine is scheduled to contact me at 5 p.m. We'll see what happens.
Your blog, and these posts, have made me realise that the people who would notice if my husband and i aren't coming out of our house for days on end are a 35 year golf/ex work colleague of my 79 Yr old husband!
My mates from my exercise classes would notice in about 1-2 weeks.
Family wouldn't know as not local, and only make contact if I initiate it!
Close friends aren't local so would only notice I'm not engaging with Whatsapp!
I know were not the only ones in this situation.
I also realise that my world will turn upside down and end up on a different axis if my husband dies before me. I am 'only' 65 so chances are he will.
People talk about "future proofing" their homes.
We need to future proof our friends sphere and hobbies/interests too maybe
So, so true.