It’s interesting, this lens on our own space. I know I’m the one who said it and it remains true — my home is my sacred space and I see folks agreeing, but this is a mostly Western philosophy, don’t you think? In Latinx and Asian countries, it’s quite the norm to have three or even four generations sharing space. I love my lil mom but I know from experience that we get along much, much better when we don’t live together. It would be interesting to know the perspective of those in a multigenerational living arrangement. Are there parts of the home that are sacred to the individual? Or is the whole thing sacred still? Would they feel very lonesome and poorly if they lived alone? I suppose a lot of that depends on the person, but it’s interesting to consider how their perspective would differ. Great essay, Sue! You really expanded beautifully on it!
Yes, my home is my sacred space. All of my strategically placed Buddhas remind me of this, as well as the energy I put into making it welcoming, beautiful and calm. My husband also enjoys what we have created together.
We knocked out a wall and turned it into a huge sliding glass door which looks out at the desert. When it warms up to 100°+ like today, it's nice to stay cool inside and still feel like we are outside watching the many desert critters. The birds, bobcats and lizards which frequent our birdbath for a drink of water keep us entertained.
I spent a lot of time living alone, and I enjoyed it during my single years. I would prefer solitude over an unsuitable companion. My husband and I have a good rhythm that works for us, and that includes many spaces in our togetherness. He spends a few months in Alaska every year and I enjoy those times. We are both OK with taking separate vacations since we both spent so many years living alone when we were single.
We don't have a "joined at the hip" kind of marriage and we like it this way. Sometimes it feels like I get to have the best of both worlds, including a fantastic step son who enjoys getting out of the Pacific Northwest rain to visit us.
Back to your question, I love my home and I enjoy sharing it with all who enter my sacred inner sanctum.
Thank you, Cynthia. We miss you here in Oregon, but I am so glad things turned out so well for you. I can picture that "window wall" look at the desert. It sounds beautiful.
My & my husband’s home is sacred to us. It is all the things you mentioned and all that I hold dearest to my heart & soul. It is the place that we created together and are building our life around. We love to travel, but coming back home to our house & 3 kitties is the most wonderful feeling.
I absolutely see my home as a sacred space that offers me sanctuary and peace. It reminds me of my late husband and the memories we shared created. I've just come back from nearly 3 months of looking after my parents. My beloved dad passed away at age 98 while I was there. I was grateful for the time I spent with him and mum. Dealing with some relatives was bracing, especially one of them. I was so glad to come back home and feel the peace and security it offers me. There's no room in my home for another man. It's too soon. Living together with others always brings its challenges, and as we get older we become more set in our ways. I'm not willing right now to clear out stuff to make room for someone of either gender. Perhaps that will change in time.
Sue, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad and your husband. There's no hurry to clear things out. It takes time to feel ready. I have been a widow for 13 years, and I'm not ready for another man or woman to move in.
After my divorce (25+ years ago), for financial reasons, a friend and I moved into a flat together. It worked out beautifully for 15 years, until she became ill. I became her caregiver, until her children put her in a care facility, and I moved to another friend’s “in-law” apartment, where I am still. I have a 700 sq ft apartment, but it’s ”mine”, although I share it with my 3 cats. We’re cozy, but happy.
I have a long-standing joke with a group of friends in which we're going to win the lottery and buy a mansion for us all to live in. We'll have our own space to retreat to, but at the same time shared space where we can get together. Although, for me at least, it's not so much a joke as a dream I'd like to make a reality. A place where we can be together, support each other, share food and love and friendship. A kind of self-imposed 'middle-aged people's home'.
This isn't the same as sharing my home - it's more about creating a shared home. To me, that sounds ideal.
It’s interesting, this lens on our own space. I know I’m the one who said it and it remains true — my home is my sacred space and I see folks agreeing, but this is a mostly Western philosophy, don’t you think? In Latinx and Asian countries, it’s quite the norm to have three or even four generations sharing space. I love my lil mom but I know from experience that we get along much, much better when we don’t live together. It would be interesting to know the perspective of those in a multigenerational living arrangement. Are there parts of the home that are sacred to the individual? Or is the whole thing sacred still? Would they feel very lonesome and poorly if they lived alone? I suppose a lot of that depends on the person, but it’s interesting to consider how their perspective would differ. Great essay, Sue! You really expanded beautifully on it!
Yes, my home is my sacred space. All of my strategically placed Buddhas remind me of this, as well as the energy I put into making it welcoming, beautiful and calm. My husband also enjoys what we have created together.
We knocked out a wall and turned it into a huge sliding glass door which looks out at the desert. When it warms up to 100°+ like today, it's nice to stay cool inside and still feel like we are outside watching the many desert critters. The birds, bobcats and lizards which frequent our birdbath for a drink of water keep us entertained.
I spent a lot of time living alone, and I enjoyed it during my single years. I would prefer solitude over an unsuitable companion. My husband and I have a good rhythm that works for us, and that includes many spaces in our togetherness. He spends a few months in Alaska every year and I enjoy those times. We are both OK with taking separate vacations since we both spent so many years living alone when we were single.
We don't have a "joined at the hip" kind of marriage and we like it this way. Sometimes it feels like I get to have the best of both worlds, including a fantastic step son who enjoys getting out of the Pacific Northwest rain to visit us.
Back to your question, I love my home and I enjoy sharing it with all who enter my sacred inner sanctum.
Thank you, Cynthia. We miss you here in Oregon, but I am so glad things turned out so well for you. I can picture that "window wall" look at the desert. It sounds beautiful.
Thank you Sue!
My & my husband’s home is sacred to us. It is all the things you mentioned and all that I hold dearest to my heart & soul. It is the place that we created together and are building our life around. We love to travel, but coming back home to our house & 3 kitties is the most wonderful feeling.
I absolutely see my home as a sacred space that offers me sanctuary and peace. It reminds me of my late husband and the memories we shared created. I've just come back from nearly 3 months of looking after my parents. My beloved dad passed away at age 98 while I was there. I was grateful for the time I spent with him and mum. Dealing with some relatives was bracing, especially one of them. I was so glad to come back home and feel the peace and security it offers me. There's no room in my home for another man. It's too soon. Living together with others always brings its challenges, and as we get older we become more set in our ways. I'm not willing right now to clear out stuff to make room for someone of either gender. Perhaps that will change in time.
Sue, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad and your husband. There's no hurry to clear things out. It takes time to feel ready. I have been a widow for 13 years, and I'm not ready for another man or woman to move in.
After my divorce (25+ years ago), for financial reasons, a friend and I moved into a flat together. It worked out beautifully for 15 years, until she became ill. I became her caregiver, until her children put her in a care facility, and I moved to another friend’s “in-law” apartment, where I am still. I have a 700 sq ft apartment, but it’s ”mine”, although I share it with my 3 cats. We’re cozy, but happy.
My home isn't fancy. But it sure is sacred. And, I (we) are particular about who we invite in. xoA <3
I have a long-standing joke with a group of friends in which we're going to win the lottery and buy a mansion for us all to live in. We'll have our own space to retreat to, but at the same time shared space where we can get together. Although, for me at least, it's not so much a joke as a dream I'd like to make a reality. A place where we can be together, support each other, share food and love and friendship. A kind of self-imposed 'middle-aged people's home'.
This isn't the same as sharing my home - it's more about creating a shared home. To me, that sounds ideal.
That does sound wonderful, Rebecca. I hope that mansion comes with paid help so there are no squabbles about who washes the dishes or vacuums.
That's a really good idea!