Glad you are home - where you get refills and great food. I love to cook. I’ve lived on my own for almost 35 years, very happily - I’m now 67 and semi-retired. But I have a small pack of dachshunds and honestly, I hope I am never without dogs again. They make me smile, they give me things that must be done every day, they make me get out in nature - and they are fantastic company. And they are great for listening to my commentary when I watch the news. I hope you get a lovely dog.
I adopt a rescue pup when I was 73. And not just a dog but a big dog. But he’s a senior so we both kinda walk at the same pace. Maybe a senior dog would suit you just fine.
Good journey, Sue. I first drove across the country solo when I was 30. From time I had my first car out of college, I would venture many weekends away from my little hometown as far as I could, stay over a Saturday night and head back Sunday. I craved solitude from the time I was a kid. As my life experience had it, marriage/relationships were not for me though I had a few tries and did have one great love. However, I typically say the ones I really loved left me and the ones I left needed to be left. I've driven across the country several times more since as I've relocated for various reasons. I detest the whole process of flying so most of my leisure travel is road trips of around 3-5 days. Not too costly, a good change of scene, and I'm not gone from my animals too long. For those who are dipping into the solo life in much later years - I'm cheering you on. We are fairly contemporary and entangling my life with another was always too costly. I have no desire to do so again. As I also mentioned early in your journey - I love not having to talk to someone first thing in the morning. I think I was probably born to be solo and all the tries I made much younger in life bore that out. And once I disentangled (including the greatest love of my life which ended badly), after a reasonable period of grieving, every time I reverted in short order to my singlehood with a general sense of being home again. I am now on 25 years of it and no regrets. I don't worry about the past as no one can change it - but if I could, I wouldn't have invested as much time and energy in trying to nest with another in my younger years, when I without exception made decisions that were not in my best interests for the sake of the relationship. It must be wonderful when it works - but no thanks. Oh - and yes. Get the dog! I believe a good bit of my sanity is due to my rescue cats (like the bumper sticker that says, Who rescued whom?). Cheers.
A sudden, devastating death (my daughter) has a way of waking us up and changing the direction of our life. I am also alone (also in Oregon) and struggling with ‘this is my life’? I am still working but teetering on retirement - feeling all the confusion and angst I hear from you. I don’t have or want a pet, I’ve done my time as a caregiver, but I am interested in building a community. I’d like to retire and build or join a retirement community (NOT a care home or assisted living)- but a gathering of small homes with like-minded people, and have a garden, solar panels, a catchment system, etc. I hope to find my community or start my own this year.
I realized when I arrived back home that I already live in an informal retirement community here on the Oregon coast because most of the people around here are over 60 and have retired to do whatever it is they love. It is possible to build community by finding the people who share your passions, and I hope you can do that soon. I'm so sorry about your daughter. I know the loss never goes away.
Yes, get a dog I can’t imagine life without one! We also have a home on the Oregon coast and we call it our end game in case something happens to one of us.
I have 3 little rescue dogs. They are the best company and have been my 3 little rocks since my husband's sudden death 8 years ago. I'm 73 and can't imagine life going forward without dogs ever. But I'll stick to small dogs as they will be more manageable as I age. Look forward to photos of your new dog !
Thoughts on aged care options .....
I'm signed up to a government home care services plan here in Australia. Basic services (cleaning) which I can ramp up as my needs increase. I will stay in my home as long as I can.
I also have very kind and support neighbours at the moment. But I know that won't last. I wouldn't be interested in living in a like-minded community of older people. It's lovely at first of course, but not everyone gets on with everyone else and sooner or later everyone's health deteriorates.
Yes, do the things! Get the dog! I cannot imagine life without a canine companion. I’m so fascinated by your trip. I’m 66 and have tried a couple of solo trips which left me feeling very lonely and miserable. So, not for me but I also need to find a travel companion because I’m not done adventuring yet. And I’m in Western Massachusetts, about an hour and a half from Boston, if you’re out this way!
I am glad you are safely back at home doing the ordinary things of life. You will be a great pet lover once again. I will be anxious to see the one you choose and maybe read why.
Good things will come in the aftermath of your 5,000 mile adventures.
It’s always such a joy coming home. I’m not completely alone but my husband is ill. You’re right about living and doing what you want if you can, because you never know what’s around the corner !
You write so poignantly Sue. Life is unpredictable (you don't need me to tell you!). My father almost died in January which led to so much disruption in my life - my choice to spend as much time with him as I could. He's on the mend though bed ridden and in good spirits. He's older at 84 and many of their male friends are unwell or gone. He is living every moment with such joy and appreciation! And I'm trying to do the same!
If you want a dog, I say get one! Not too energetic just in case and have a back up person. My dog brings me so much joy and keeps me fit! 🧡
I envy your involvement with your church, I think there's a special kind of comfort in community, and as we age, those communities can fall away. Couples bond over school-aged kids, or being newlyweds. I have the 12-step recovery community so no matter where I go, I'll find a haven, a grounding. It's something I've always wished I could give someone, my mother, a place you had to be weekly, where you felt safe and accepted and part of. It's essential as we get older and our peers start to drop away, as other's lives take them here or there or far away. Your involvement with the church and the choir sound so grounding. Welcome home. Get the effin dog already. And a little unsolicited advice, don't get a puppy, get a rescue, maybe a senior dog. I've always adopted the ones no one wants. One eye. Three legs. Like that. They love you the most.
Hi Jodi. I do plan to get an older rescue dog. No more puppies for me. I don't know what I would do without my church, music and writing communities. I think the loneliness would be unbearable. We need to find our people, wherever they are.
Glad you are home - where you get refills and great food. I love to cook. I’ve lived on my own for almost 35 years, very happily - I’m now 67 and semi-retired. But I have a small pack of dachshunds and honestly, I hope I am never without dogs again. They make me smile, they give me things that must be done every day, they make me get out in nature - and they are fantastic company. And they are great for listening to my commentary when I watch the news. I hope you get a lovely dog.
I adopt a rescue pup when I was 73. And not just a dog but a big dog. But he’s a senior so we both kinda walk at the same pace. Maybe a senior dog would suit you just fine.
Good journey, Sue. I first drove across the country solo when I was 30. From time I had my first car out of college, I would venture many weekends away from my little hometown as far as I could, stay over a Saturday night and head back Sunday. I craved solitude from the time I was a kid. As my life experience had it, marriage/relationships were not for me though I had a few tries and did have one great love. However, I typically say the ones I really loved left me and the ones I left needed to be left. I've driven across the country several times more since as I've relocated for various reasons. I detest the whole process of flying so most of my leisure travel is road trips of around 3-5 days. Not too costly, a good change of scene, and I'm not gone from my animals too long. For those who are dipping into the solo life in much later years - I'm cheering you on. We are fairly contemporary and entangling my life with another was always too costly. I have no desire to do so again. As I also mentioned early in your journey - I love not having to talk to someone first thing in the morning. I think I was probably born to be solo and all the tries I made much younger in life bore that out. And once I disentangled (including the greatest love of my life which ended badly), after a reasonable period of grieving, every time I reverted in short order to my singlehood with a general sense of being home again. I am now on 25 years of it and no regrets. I don't worry about the past as no one can change it - but if I could, I wouldn't have invested as much time and energy in trying to nest with another in my younger years, when I without exception made decisions that were not in my best interests for the sake of the relationship. It must be wonderful when it works - but no thanks. Oh - and yes. Get the dog! I believe a good bit of my sanity is due to my rescue cats (like the bumper sticker that says, Who rescued whom?). Cheers.
A sudden, devastating death (my daughter) has a way of waking us up and changing the direction of our life. I am also alone (also in Oregon) and struggling with ‘this is my life’? I am still working but teetering on retirement - feeling all the confusion and angst I hear from you. I don’t have or want a pet, I’ve done my time as a caregiver, but I am interested in building a community. I’d like to retire and build or join a retirement community (NOT a care home or assisted living)- but a gathering of small homes with like-minded people, and have a garden, solar panels, a catchment system, etc. I hope to find my community or start my own this year.
I realized when I arrived back home that I already live in an informal retirement community here on the Oregon coast because most of the people around here are over 60 and have retired to do whatever it is they love. It is possible to build community by finding the people who share your passions, and I hope you can do that soon. I'm so sorry about your daughter. I know the loss never goes away.
Yes that’s exactly what I hope to find is my own community. Thank you for the condolences, being open about it helps me to move through the loss.
Yes, get a dog I can’t imagine life without one! We also have a home on the Oregon coast and we call it our end game in case something happens to one of us.
I have 3 little rescue dogs. They are the best company and have been my 3 little rocks since my husband's sudden death 8 years ago. I'm 73 and can't imagine life going forward without dogs ever. But I'll stick to small dogs as they will be more manageable as I age. Look forward to photos of your new dog !
Thoughts on aged care options .....
I'm signed up to a government home care services plan here in Australia. Basic services (cleaning) which I can ramp up as my needs increase. I will stay in my home as long as I can.
I also have very kind and support neighbours at the moment. But I know that won't last. I wouldn't be interested in living in a like-minded community of older people. It's lovely at first of course, but not everyone gets on with everyone else and sooner or later everyone's health deteriorates.
Yes, do the things! Get the dog! I cannot imagine life without a canine companion. I’m so fascinated by your trip. I’m 66 and have tried a couple of solo trips which left me feeling very lonely and miserable. So, not for me but I also need to find a travel companion because I’m not done adventuring yet. And I’m in Western Massachusetts, about an hour and a half from Boston, if you’re out this way!
I am glad you are safely back at home doing the ordinary things of life. You will be a great pet lover once again. I will be anxious to see the one you choose and maybe read why.
Good things will come in the aftermath of your 5,000 mile adventures.
Enjoyed this post and the comments also.
By all means, get the dog. It took that long trip ordeal and coming home to make up your mind, I say go for it! The
I face awareness that the end is likely closer than is prefer. And, of course, the fear can come with that.
But I also feel a clarification of my life that I'd pushed aside to take care of Stuff. And that brings in refreshing air.
Loved this follow up and we’re all glad you’re home. Consensus reached: Get a dog! 🐕 Your life will be changed in the best ways.
It’s always such a joy coming home. I’m not completely alone but my husband is ill. You’re right about living and doing what you want if you can, because you never know what’s around the corner !
Wooo hoooo! Yey living the pooch dream and all here for the updates. I find that funerals are a good time to reflect on our own lives. 💕
You write so poignantly Sue. Life is unpredictable (you don't need me to tell you!). My father almost died in January which led to so much disruption in my life - my choice to spend as much time with him as I could. He's on the mend though bed ridden and in good spirits. He's older at 84 and many of their male friends are unwell or gone. He is living every moment with such joy and appreciation! And I'm trying to do the same!
If you want a dog, I say get one! Not too energetic just in case and have a back up person. My dog brings me so much joy and keeps me fit! 🧡
Such a beautiful post.
Thank you, Kate. I appreciate your kind words. I wish you all the best with your father.
I envy your involvement with your church, I think there's a special kind of comfort in community, and as we age, those communities can fall away. Couples bond over school-aged kids, or being newlyweds. I have the 12-step recovery community so no matter where I go, I'll find a haven, a grounding. It's something I've always wished I could give someone, my mother, a place you had to be weekly, where you felt safe and accepted and part of. It's essential as we get older and our peers start to drop away, as other's lives take them here or there or far away. Your involvement with the church and the choir sound so grounding. Welcome home. Get the effin dog already. And a little unsolicited advice, don't get a puppy, get a rescue, maybe a senior dog. I've always adopted the ones no one wants. One eye. Three legs. Like that. They love you the most.
Hi Jodi. I do plan to get an older rescue dog. No more puppies for me. I don't know what I would do without my church, music and writing communities. I think the loneliness would be unbearable. We need to find our people, wherever they are.