I haven’t been alone in six years. I write in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping. This was a hard read. Asking for help is hard, making yourself vulnerable when you already feel vulnerable— that doesn’t come naturally or easily to me, or you it seems. But I also know when I can help someone else it feels good, I need to remember that letting someone help, be part of my life, is sometimes an act of service to them. 🩵
No doubt it is a long commute, Sue, but for your sake I can do anything in recognition of your meitorious services in literary pursuits so much regularly and with so much derterminaion. Kudos with hugs from the core of my heart!!
Congratulations on your willingness to learn and reboot. Each event is a learning opportunity and as you said, gives you topics for further exploration. For some of us singles, living by ourselves does not mean we write a lot. It means we do all the work. I take comfort in my nine acres with raised bed gardens, woods to keep trimmed back, developing pollinator areas, feeding a wood stove and canning and preserving all that I can. Yet, on a slim pension, this means nearly all of this I do. Alone. With occasional assistance from my son when he is in the area. At the end of some of my days, I'm tired to the bone. When I have a day of rain or snow I'm delirious and giddy nothing but wood to bring in some soup to make and a day of sitting with the computer. Alas after the snow comes the snow shovel. Living alone for so many years has kept me strong and healthy but that does not necessarily compute into more writing time. I salute your productivity and this column to give voice to those of us unpartnered and still so full of life and words to share. Thanks, Sue.
You're right, Yvonne. I don't have nine acres, only my one-third, but there's still a lot to do and no one else to do it. When you're alone, you handle everything from gardening to home repairs to food preparation and so much more. I admit that some of my chores go undone because I put the writing first. But here's to snow days with time to write.
It’s wonderful how you spend your time now. After I had two stillborn babies and my husband and I separated I started my jewellery business and did craft fairs. I always felt jealous of pretty much everyone else who had husbands or family to help, while I lugged everything around myself! Those moments made me feel so lonely! But being alone i have had time to create, my jewellery, my writing, it couldn’t have happened if I’d had a husband!
Being alone 95% of the time does give me the freedom to do things most folx don’t have time for — like day dreaming, or plotting and scheming, or procrastinating on getting back to writing my novel. But being ill takes up a fair amount of time and energy. Which brings me to something else you mentioned that I wanted to address! Asking for help! It was hard as rocks for me for a long time! I was fiercely independent and guarded of my time and space, but I think chronic illness has made it necessary. And the interesting part is that it actually brings people closer! Most folx don’t mind helping out occasionally and they get talking and it deepens your relationship! So, I know you may feel like you’re sacrificing something — pride, freedom, independence, but I’m here to tell you there are upsides too! I’ve met a lot of my neighbours by asking for help! Good luck Sue!
I haven’t been alone in six years. I write in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping. This was a hard read. Asking for help is hard, making yourself vulnerable when you already feel vulnerable— that doesn’t come naturally or easily to me, or you it seems. But I also know when I can help someone else it feels good, I need to remember that letting someone help, be part of my life, is sometimes an act of service to them. 🩵
No doubt it is a long commute, Sue, but for your sake I can do anything in recognition of your meitorious services in literary pursuits so much regularly and with so much derterminaion. Kudos with hugs from the core of my heart!!
Congratulations for putting yourself out there. Much more confronting, and hard work, than being at home writing.
Brava🥂 I think this is fantastic✨
Congratulations on your willingness to learn and reboot. Each event is a learning opportunity and as you said, gives you topics for further exploration. For some of us singles, living by ourselves does not mean we write a lot. It means we do all the work. I take comfort in my nine acres with raised bed gardens, woods to keep trimmed back, developing pollinator areas, feeding a wood stove and canning and preserving all that I can. Yet, on a slim pension, this means nearly all of this I do. Alone. With occasional assistance from my son when he is in the area. At the end of some of my days, I'm tired to the bone. When I have a day of rain or snow I'm delirious and giddy nothing but wood to bring in some soup to make and a day of sitting with the computer. Alas after the snow comes the snow shovel. Living alone for so many years has kept me strong and healthy but that does not necessarily compute into more writing time. I salute your productivity and this column to give voice to those of us unpartnered and still so full of life and words to share. Thanks, Sue.
You're right, Yvonne. I don't have nine acres, only my one-third, but there's still a lot to do and no one else to do it. When you're alone, you handle everything from gardening to home repairs to food preparation and so much more. I admit that some of my chores go undone because I put the writing first. But here's to snow days with time to write.
It’s wonderful how you spend your time now. After I had two stillborn babies and my husband and I separated I started my jewellery business and did craft fairs. I always felt jealous of pretty much everyone else who had husbands or family to help, while I lugged everything around myself! Those moments made me feel so lonely! But being alone i have had time to create, my jewellery, my writing, it couldn’t have happened if I’d had a husband!
We have a lot in common. I would love to see your jewelry.
Hi Sue, thank you, here is my jewellery: https://www.graceandflora.co.uk I send internationally if you like it! ☺️
Being alone 95% of the time does give me the freedom to do things most folx don’t have time for — like day dreaming, or plotting and scheming, or procrastinating on getting back to writing my novel. But being ill takes up a fair amount of time and energy. Which brings me to something else you mentioned that I wanted to address! Asking for help! It was hard as rocks for me for a long time! I was fiercely independent and guarded of my time and space, but I think chronic illness has made it necessary. And the interesting part is that it actually brings people closer! Most folx don’t mind helping out occasionally and they get talking and it deepens your relationship! So, I know you may feel like you’re sacrificing something — pride, freedom, independence, but I’m here to tell you there are upsides too! I’ve met a lot of my neighbours by asking for help! Good luck Sue!
It's hard, but you're so right. We have to ask for help, and also for company if we're okay but tired of being alone.
No doubt you are a brave woman but if you need a helper then I offer my services free of cost
wihout any prior conditions. Book me in advane!!
That's quite a long commute, my friend.
We just have to find the right audience, wherever they hang out. And yes, it is very easy to distract yourself, even with no one around.