How we handle silence is so interesting. If you were to ask my l kids they would say I never tolerate silence. There’s always music or a podcast or something I’m not watching on tv playing in the background. If I’m in the car with them and it’s quiet for too long I get annoyed.
But….
This has been a year of transition. For the first time (since that very brief moment in college ) I live mostly alone.
I would have that it would be the silence that would do me in.
But I often go hours without even noticing the quiet around me.
It’s made me realize something huge- it’s not that I don’t like silence, it’s that I don’t like the noise of other people’s needs and emotions when it’s silent.
The background noise is a needed barrier for a person who can’t help but pick up on the energy of everyone else and feel the need to react/help/comfort.
I thought I would hate the silence of an empty house….but it turns out that it’s the first time I can clearly hear my own voice.
A friend of mine has been in a completely sound proofed room which is meant to create complete silence. But, apparently after so long you can hear the blood rushing in your veins, leaving the argument that even in complete silence there is never truly silence. A bit of on a tangent. As always, a very enjoyable read.
I have music on 24/7. I put in the CBC and leave it on, on my phone or iPad and Bluetooth speakers. It’s playing quietly but I don’t feel comfortable with silence all the time. I can still hear the birds chirping merrily outdoors. I sleep with it on too, because I wake up at least once every hour. I don’t mind short periods of silence but I don’t really don’t want to listen to my stomach gurgling or my nose sniffling all day. I think the day would feel endless. I’m fine with a companionable silence, like when I’m visiting my family, and I actually prefer silence when I’m visiting. Then I find the radio distracting. I don’t believe this makes me less likely to explore my inner world — I just like to tap my toes while I’m doing it, plus I get exposed to a lot of really wonderful Canadian artists throughout the day. Like right now, there’s a contemporary Inuk language song playing! The CBC is roughly equivalent to PBS, and has no commercials, which I can’t stand. When I do have silence for brief spells, I enjoy it more too.
People have become addicted to having some kind of noise in their lives. I think a lot of it has to with a fear of being alone with oneself, facing up to one's real thoughts and feelings. Silence connects us with deep time and with the depth of our being. Silence is far from empty but alive with potential. I get irritated by too much noise in my environment. I love cafes but loud music blaring away is so annoying. They do it in shops as well. It's supposed to create anxiety which will then make people spend more money. When you're constantly bombarded with noise you get distracted from what really matters and life stays superficial. I tend to crave silence. The only time I watch TV is in the evening, but I'm trying to curb that as well. In the evenings I feel my late husband's absence the most. An audiologist told me that my tinnitus is enhanced by silence and I should listen to some natural sounds which are the most soothing. Apparently, we're hard wired for sound but it's our choice what kind of sound we Subject ourselves to given we have the choice. Still, a lot of the time I just want to avoid system overload.
So many good points here. "You get distracted from what really matters and life stays superficial." I think that's happening far too often these days. Thank you for sharing this.
I turn background noise on more and more, even while I work. The constant whirring of high-pitched sounds — machines, buzzing, fans, humming — in silence really gets to me these days, I guess. While not totally alone (yet), I find I do talk out loud more often now….to myself…needing to break the silence. I think for many, silence, the deep-rooted kind that settles in, is closely paired with loneliness. I appreciate this post — and hope to take a look at the book.
When my days seem too quiet, I find relief in meditating that it is really just more of a pause. And yes, sometimes that pause is pretty damn long. But it's really just an opportunity to use my other senses.
BTW, I have a tattoo that reads "badz chico" (can't find all the Polish charades on my phone) that translates roughly to "shut up" but can also mean "be still. "
Depending on the situation, I give different translation for those who inquire.
I have a love hate relationship with silence. Like you, I need silence to properly concentrate or I can find myself not doing what I set out to do to the best of my abilities. I also love to hear the sounds of nature, and silence helps to really focus on that.
On the other hand, if it is too quiet once my tasks are completed, it can and usually will put me in a more of a sensitive mind set. I try to avoid too much silence, so that I can stay in a positive frame of mind.
Thank you, I know what my triggers are. The silence can sometimes bring them up when it is not the right time for me to be focusing on them. I prefer to work on them, when I am of the right mindset to do that.
I really related to this! It reminded me of when I lived alone after I lost my husband. Some days were just so quiet. Holidays were especially difficult.
I thank the heavens I am not around abusers anymore - my mother, my siblings, my ex. Though the lifelong abuse I endured still hurts 24/7, I revel in a day where I am not getting more.
I guess this could be an option. The Chinese read more Novels than Americans do, but you still can't really trust what's out there on the Mysterious Land of Sanae.
How we handle silence is so interesting. If you were to ask my l kids they would say I never tolerate silence. There’s always music or a podcast or something I’m not watching on tv playing in the background. If I’m in the car with them and it’s quiet for too long I get annoyed.
But….
This has been a year of transition. For the first time (since that very brief moment in college ) I live mostly alone.
I would have that it would be the silence that would do me in.
But I often go hours without even noticing the quiet around me.
It’s made me realize something huge- it’s not that I don’t like silence, it’s that I don’t like the noise of other people’s needs and emotions when it’s silent.
The background noise is a needed barrier for a person who can’t help but pick up on the energy of everyone else and feel the need to react/help/comfort.
I thought I would hate the silence of an empty house….but it turns out that it’s the first time I can clearly hear my own voice.
So quiet I can hearing my cat purring from across the room.
So quiet that the rain sounds like cymbals hitting in the roof.
So quiet that I’ve come to enjoy the calm of it, only turning on the music while I do chores.
A friend of mine has been in a completely sound proofed room which is meant to create complete silence. But, apparently after so long you can hear the blood rushing in your veins, leaving the argument that even in complete silence there is never truly silence. A bit of on a tangent. As always, a very enjoyable read.
I have music on 24/7. I put in the CBC and leave it on, on my phone or iPad and Bluetooth speakers. It’s playing quietly but I don’t feel comfortable with silence all the time. I can still hear the birds chirping merrily outdoors. I sleep with it on too, because I wake up at least once every hour. I don’t mind short periods of silence but I don’t really don’t want to listen to my stomach gurgling or my nose sniffling all day. I think the day would feel endless. I’m fine with a companionable silence, like when I’m visiting my family, and I actually prefer silence when I’m visiting. Then I find the radio distracting. I don’t believe this makes me less likely to explore my inner world — I just like to tap my toes while I’m doing it, plus I get exposed to a lot of really wonderful Canadian artists throughout the day. Like right now, there’s a contemporary Inuk language song playing! The CBC is roughly equivalent to PBS, and has no commercials, which I can’t stand. When I do have silence for brief spells, I enjoy it more too.
People have become addicted to having some kind of noise in their lives. I think a lot of it has to with a fear of being alone with oneself, facing up to one's real thoughts and feelings. Silence connects us with deep time and with the depth of our being. Silence is far from empty but alive with potential. I get irritated by too much noise in my environment. I love cafes but loud music blaring away is so annoying. They do it in shops as well. It's supposed to create anxiety which will then make people spend more money. When you're constantly bombarded with noise you get distracted from what really matters and life stays superficial. I tend to crave silence. The only time I watch TV is in the evening, but I'm trying to curb that as well. In the evenings I feel my late husband's absence the most. An audiologist told me that my tinnitus is enhanced by silence and I should listen to some natural sounds which are the most soothing. Apparently, we're hard wired for sound but it's our choice what kind of sound we Subject ourselves to given we have the choice. Still, a lot of the time I just want to avoid system overload.
So many good points here. "You get distracted from what really matters and life stays superficial." I think that's happening far too often these days. Thank you for sharing this.
I turn background noise on more and more, even while I work. The constant whirring of high-pitched sounds — machines, buzzing, fans, humming — in silence really gets to me these days, I guess. While not totally alone (yet), I find I do talk out loud more often now….to myself…needing to break the silence. I think for many, silence, the deep-rooted kind that settles in, is closely paired with loneliness. I appreciate this post — and hope to take a look at the book.
When my days seem too quiet, I find relief in meditating that it is really just more of a pause. And yes, sometimes that pause is pretty damn long. But it's really just an opportunity to use my other senses.
BTW, I have a tattoo that reads "badz chico" (can't find all the Polish charades on my phone) that translates roughly to "shut up" but can also mean "be still. "
Depending on the situation, I give different translation for those who inquire.
Thanks for writing!
Thank you! You said it well.
I have a love hate relationship with silence. Like you, I need silence to properly concentrate or I can find myself not doing what I set out to do to the best of my abilities. I also love to hear the sounds of nature, and silence helps to really focus on that.
On the other hand, if it is too quiet once my tasks are completed, it can and usually will put me in a more of a sensitive mind set. I try to avoid too much silence, so that I can stay in a positive frame of mind.
Yes. Thank you for this.
Perhaps it would help to explore yor sensitivity? Once you realise what makes you feel that way you may be able to overcome it.
Thank you, I know what my triggers are. The silence can sometimes bring them up when it is not the right time for me to be focusing on them. I prefer to work on them, when I am of the right mindset to do that.
I really related to this! It reminded me of when I lived alone after I lost my husband. Some days were just so quiet. Holidays were especially difficult.
Holidays are the worst!
I love the sound of ‘silence’. I can think. I can hear the waves and the birds. Or not.
I totally agree, Lou.
I thank the heavens I am not around abusers anymore - my mother, my siblings, my ex. Though the lifelong abuse I endured still hurts 24/7, I revel in a day where I am not getting more.
I guess this could be an option. The Chinese read more Novels than Americans do, but you still can't really trust what's out there on the Mysterious Land of Sanae.
https://substack.com/@revtina/note/c-57666618?r=3u0vhn