I had a friend years ago who said when you get rid of the things in your life that no longer serve you, you are making room for better. I myself personally feel so much better when I declutter. I have to ask myself why am I hanging on to this?
Perhaps it was just the right time to dig into these things from your past. We often have to be in the right mindset after pondering on the issues for a while. Congratulations on all you have accomplished in the past and in the present. I truly enjoy your posts. Thank you for sharing yourself with us!
I do find that I've been able to get rid of some things that I couldn't part with before. Little steps...! I've also found it easier to part with some things if I take photos first.
Mind set does seem key. I had a couple unfortunate circumstances (natural and otherwise) that forced me to get rid of stuff. In retrospect, I wasn't ready, but what to do.
When my partner and I retired we sold almost everything and set out to travel in a 27 ft Airstream trailer and pickup truck. It was tough letting go of things, but very freeing. We did take cards, letters, child art work his mom had saved and passed on to us, and one of our first nights out on the road we built a fire, sat around it sipping scotch, reading the cards, letters, laughing, crying, and throwing them into the fire.
I got rid of many old writings not too long ago. I kept a few of my favorite stories/articles, but was able to toss soooo many drafts, bad poems, angsty pontifications, and other stuff that no longer means much to me (or anyone else). My published books and a handful of unpublished work will be enough to leave behind. It was so freeing!
Thank you for continuing to inspire me to start simplifying my material life. A dear friend is moving here very soon to spend his last days (he has terminal cancer) and I need to make more room for him to be comfortable. Yet I seem paralyzed from starting. In my mind I say, there is no try, there is only do. I’m grateful knowing that it is actually happening for you and that I can do this too.
I did a huge declutter after my husband passed in 2017 as I had to move back to the security of town. He had soooo much stuff. I filled 6 industrial size skip bins (not sure what you call them in the US) and sold a lot of other stuff. It took a heavy emotional toll on top of my grief at the time. The rest of the stuff just had to be packed up and came with me. I could hardly move in my 3 br townhouse for boxes and large furniture!
It took another 3 years before I wanted to start sorting through boxes. Replacing furniture with items that I liked (it needed to be light weight so I could move it around) was a big factor. I was affirming who I was becoming !
Eight years on my own and the decluttering continues as I evolve. It's a thing now and having a plan how you want a space to look is important. Just seeing cleared space lifts the spirits ! ✨️
No, I don't agree. Keep them. Or at least write up the stories you mention here. They are interesting. They are history. I have boxes of such stuff. I have old letters. They are my life. My memoir. I need to sit down and write it all out. Until then, boxes and papers. I read them from time to time. They connect the past to the present. History. Well, that's my 2 cents on the subject.
If you have the space, to each her own. If I had space, I'd probably keep a lot more.
It's painful to throw out your life. 40+ years after my father died, when I was downsizing my (abusive) mother, I finally threw out my father's research papers. He was a groundbreaking virologist. I called up a few places where he's worked to see if they wanted his papers. They declined or didn't answer me.
It was hard to throw them out but they'd sat untouched for over 40 years. My siblings and their adult children - none of whom helped me in any way to downsize my mother's long hoarded home - wanted them either. I know or hope (!) research in his field has progressed tremendously so I just acknowledged in my head his work - some very personal to me in retrospect as he was one of the first to work on in vitro fertilization - and moved on.
My papers and life are of no interest to anyone, so thanks Sue and others here for the encouragement to free ourselves.
We got rid of a LOT of stuff when we downsized from our house to a condo, 9 years ago. But there's always more...! There's a storage locker full of stuff in the parking garage here that we've barely touched since we moved, aside from hauling out the suitcases when we travel and the Christmas decorations at Christmas. I've had it on my to-do list to haul everything out & go through all those boxes again, send some stuff to the thrift store and other stuff to the garbage/recycling bins.... your post has made me think I need to move this item up the list...!
I know there's a plastic bin that contains every issue of every staff newsmagazine I worked on (which I did for about 20 of the 28 years I was at that company). I think those could go now. ;)
I have a lot easier time getting rid of objects and clothes than getting rid of my old writings. I still have a lot of my college fiction circa 1985-87. And all my journals, though now I have typed them all into Google Docs.
I just turned 70 and I my house is the repository of the papers, books, tools, toys, and other effects of my parents and numerous ancestors. I was able to sell off many of the broken old toys last winter on ebay - "for parts or restoration" - and a few years ago I was able to send copies of some of my father's papers on the Lunar Orbiter Project of the 1960s to a suitable place, but I despair of disposing of much of it. Thousands of photos dating as far back as the mid-1800s. Hours of old family movies. Reel-to-reel audio recordings. VHS and 8mm tapes from after my parents' divorce with just my father and step-mother, who I never lived with and who has recently gone into memory care. My father died in 2005, and over the last few years I visited her monthly and came home with countless boxes of "stuff".
I don't want to leave it to our two children to deal with. I am digitizing the movies, and have sorted - triaged - the photos into family categories with the intent to digitize them as well. But I don't particularly want to spend the rest of my days on these projects. I get out cycling once a week on average, and we have subscribed to a prepared meals service, but on the other hand we have two cats that demand to be fed far too often.
Not sure if I have a point to make, but thanks for listening.
On behalf of your children, thanks for making an effort, Charles. When I had to do it, it was horrific and took a lot out of me physically, financially and mentally.
Just a thought -- IF you can afford it, there are services that will convert your old photos, negatives, home movies, etc., to digital formats. Saves you sitting at a scanner for hours & days on end. I used to do this with mine, until the photo/camera store chain went under, about 10 years ago... but I'm sure there are online companies that do this kind of thing. I know Costco used to as well, years ago -- not sure they still do.
I had a bunch of slides digitized through an online company a couple years ago. I did try scanning some of mine, but it's way too frustrating and time-consuming. I may send more stuff out, although I don't know who will want to look at my pictures once I'm gone.
Yes, I have researched all of those and the expense for the films is not justified. There are too many photos to pay to have them digitized, including negatives of several obsolete formats.
I have been struggling with this kind of sorting in recent months. I thought weeding papers would be easier than other things, but I have found it really hard to let go of the tangible signs of a long-ago me. I am inspired by your resolve! I also love that you are redoing things “for you.”
Thanks, Amy. It is hard letting go of long-ago me and honestly stressful doing this revamp of my home by myself, but the results will be worth it. Keep working on it.
I just finished reading your book, No Way Out. I can't tell you the impact it had on me. Though AD has not been officially diagnosed in my husband, I am fairly certain I am about to experience the same journey you did. Your love for Fred and the dignity you gave him were so inspiring. Your courage to share such personal details is remarkable. I know I will reread this book many times for inspiration on my journey. Thanks again.
I had a friend years ago who said when you get rid of the things in your life that no longer serve you, you are making room for better. I myself personally feel so much better when I declutter. I have to ask myself why am I hanging on to this?
Perhaps it was just the right time to dig into these things from your past. We often have to be in the right mindset after pondering on the issues for a while. Congratulations on all you have accomplished in the past and in the present. I truly enjoy your posts. Thank you for sharing yourself with us!
I do find that I've been able to get rid of some things that I couldn't part with before. Little steps...! I've also found it easier to part with some things if I take photos first.
Mind set does seem key. I had a couple unfortunate circumstances (natural and otherwise) that forced me to get rid of stuff. In retrospect, I wasn't ready, but what to do.
When my partner and I retired we sold almost everything and set out to travel in a 27 ft Airstream trailer and pickup truck. It was tough letting go of things, but very freeing. We did take cards, letters, child art work his mom had saved and passed on to us, and one of our first nights out on the road we built a fire, sat around it sipping scotch, reading the cards, letters, laughing, crying, and throwing them into the fire.
I got rid of many old writings not too long ago. I kept a few of my favorite stories/articles, but was able to toss soooo many drafts, bad poems, angsty pontifications, and other stuff that no longer means much to me (or anyone else). My published books and a handful of unpublished work will be enough to leave behind. It was so freeing!
Thank you for continuing to inspire me to start simplifying my material life. A dear friend is moving here very soon to spend his last days (he has terminal cancer) and I need to make more room for him to be comfortable. Yet I seem paralyzed from starting. In my mind I say, there is no try, there is only do. I’m grateful knowing that it is actually happening for you and that I can do this too.
Kudos to you, Kristi, for being a true friend.
I did a huge declutter after my husband passed in 2017 as I had to move back to the security of town. He had soooo much stuff. I filled 6 industrial size skip bins (not sure what you call them in the US) and sold a lot of other stuff. It took a heavy emotional toll on top of my grief at the time. The rest of the stuff just had to be packed up and came with me. I could hardly move in my 3 br townhouse for boxes and large furniture!
It took another 3 years before I wanted to start sorting through boxes. Replacing furniture with items that I liked (it needed to be light weight so I could move it around) was a big factor. I was affirming who I was becoming !
Eight years on my own and the decluttering continues as I evolve. It's a thing now and having a plan how you want a space to look is important. Just seeing cleared space lifts the spirits ! ✨️
Dumpster is the term - so highly impressed for you to do all that!
To me it’s freeing as well! Thanks for sharing
No, I don't agree. Keep them. Or at least write up the stories you mention here. They are interesting. They are history. I have boxes of such stuff. I have old letters. They are my life. My memoir. I need to sit down and write it all out. Until then, boxes and papers. I read them from time to time. They connect the past to the present. History. Well, that's my 2 cents on the subject.
If you have the space, to each her own. If I had space, I'd probably keep a lot more.
It's painful to throw out your life. 40+ years after my father died, when I was downsizing my (abusive) mother, I finally threw out my father's research papers. He was a groundbreaking virologist. I called up a few places where he's worked to see if they wanted his papers. They declined or didn't answer me.
It was hard to throw them out but they'd sat untouched for over 40 years. My siblings and their adult children - none of whom helped me in any way to downsize my mother's long hoarded home - wanted them either. I know or hope (!) research in his field has progressed tremendously so I just acknowledged in my head his work - some very personal to me in retrospect as he was one of the first to work on in vitro fertilization - and moved on.
My papers and life are of no interest to anyone, so thanks Sue and others here for the encouragement to free ourselves.
We got rid of a LOT of stuff when we downsized from our house to a condo, 9 years ago. But there's always more...! There's a storage locker full of stuff in the parking garage here that we've barely touched since we moved, aside from hauling out the suitcases when we travel and the Christmas decorations at Christmas. I've had it on my to-do list to haul everything out & go through all those boxes again, send some stuff to the thrift store and other stuff to the garbage/recycling bins.... your post has made me think I need to move this item up the list...!
I know there's a plastic bin that contains every issue of every staff newsmagazine I worked on (which I did for about 20 of the 28 years I was at that company). I think those could go now. ;)
Heavens, these reminders are helpful. Thanks, Sue.
I have a lot easier time getting rid of objects and clothes than getting rid of my old writings. I still have a lot of my college fiction circa 1985-87. And all my journals, though now I have typed them all into Google Docs.
I just turned 70 and I my house is the repository of the papers, books, tools, toys, and other effects of my parents and numerous ancestors. I was able to sell off many of the broken old toys last winter on ebay - "for parts or restoration" - and a few years ago I was able to send copies of some of my father's papers on the Lunar Orbiter Project of the 1960s to a suitable place, but I despair of disposing of much of it. Thousands of photos dating as far back as the mid-1800s. Hours of old family movies. Reel-to-reel audio recordings. VHS and 8mm tapes from after my parents' divorce with just my father and step-mother, who I never lived with and who has recently gone into memory care. My father died in 2005, and over the last few years I visited her monthly and came home with countless boxes of "stuff".
I don't want to leave it to our two children to deal with. I am digitizing the movies, and have sorted - triaged - the photos into family categories with the intent to digitize them as well. But I don't particularly want to spend the rest of my days on these projects. I get out cycling once a week on average, and we have subscribed to a prepared meals service, but on the other hand we have two cats that demand to be fed far too often.
Not sure if I have a point to make, but thanks for listening.
I hear you. And I totally agree with not wanting to waste our years archiving the past.keep doing what makes you happy.
On behalf of your children, thanks for making an effort, Charles. When I had to do it, it was horrific and took a lot out of me physically, financially and mentally.
Just a thought -- IF you can afford it, there are services that will convert your old photos, negatives, home movies, etc., to digital formats. Saves you sitting at a scanner for hours & days on end. I used to do this with mine, until the photo/camera store chain went under, about 10 years ago... but I'm sure there are online companies that do this kind of thing. I know Costco used to as well, years ago -- not sure they still do.
I had a bunch of slides digitized through an online company a couple years ago. I did try scanning some of mine, but it's way too frustrating and time-consuming. I may send more stuff out, although I don't know who will want to look at my pictures once I'm gone.
Yes, I have researched all of those and the expense for the films is not justified. There are too many photos to pay to have them digitized, including negatives of several obsolete formats.
I have been struggling with this kind of sorting in recent months. I thought weeding papers would be easier than other things, but I have found it really hard to let go of the tangible signs of a long-ago me. I am inspired by your resolve! I also love that you are redoing things “for you.”
Thanks, Amy. It is hard letting go of long-ago me and honestly stressful doing this revamp of my home by myself, but the results will be worth it. Keep working on it.
You’re famous to me!! Thanks for shining your light in the world, Sue. You have no idea how much comfort and support it brings others.
Thank you!
I just finished reading your book, No Way Out. I can't tell you the impact it had on me. Though AD has not been officially diagnosed in my husband, I am fairly certain I am about to experience the same journey you did. Your love for Fred and the dignity you gave him were so inspiring. Your courage to share such personal details is remarkable. I know I will reread this book many times for inspiration on my journey. Thanks again.
Thank you, Becky. I'm so sorry you're going through this with your husband. I'm glad the book helps.