Wonderful again Sue. I really liked the one about inviting or at least asking about holidays including ones like July 4th not just for the first year, but forever. That's really nice.
Love this post — thank you. Seems like the theme is to maintain compassion and respect. Keep invitations coming to ‘couple-y’ gatherings. She will decide whether or not to accept, but I promise she’ll appreciate the thoughtfulness. 💚
I've just returned from a short visit to our close family friend, a widower in his late 80s, so I was ticking the points off as I read them Sue. ;-) We had our little giggle and remembered his wife well - it's her birthday today, and mostly I listened. Heartwarming for both of us.
Good list of suggestions for helping a widow or widower, but I think that they would be good for anyone who is alone. I especially liked the one about holding her hand or putting your arm around her...so many don't get that comforting touch anymore.
Another thing that rang a bell for me is when you have to label yourself (for you it is widowed and for me it would be divorced). I am single so that is what I mark.
You're right. We all need this stuff. I was also divorced, so I'm two for two. Maybe Single is a state of mind as well as a box on a form. Something to think about.
I love all your suggestions, they hold much wisdom, which you learned from your experience! That's how we seem to learn the best in this life, by experience, as it is the best teacher. Though we wish we didn't have to learn from painful experiences. But that's how our soul learns and grows. Then we understand Love better, really the reason we're here. And you pass on all your wisdom and compassion to others, so they can find inspiration and strength too, as well as connection. God bless you, and all those who find themselves alone, which are many of us.😇💖
Thanks for this great article. Particularly #5. Trying to find common ground is not applicable here, (unless you are also a widow?) just listen and support.
Don't know what happened but I got a note that my comment didn't go through. Well, anyway, I think that the term divorced may imply failure while the term single may imply (true or not) that you are single by choice.
I've also been widowed for 14 years - but I have married again, having initially thought that I'd never find anyone as good as my late husband. I forgot to account for how much my first husband's death would change me as a person; I eventually managed to embrace those changes. The man I am married to now I would never have been attracted to as an earlier person.
Finally, the more of a community you can belong to if you're on your own, the better. Whether it's a church, spiritual community, big family, several friends, doesn't matter. Just the sense of belonging to some group can also really help.
What a lovely column! I’m going to save this for next time someone in my book group or church or neighborhood is widowed…it’s full of so many ideas worth sharing.
Wonderful again Sue. I really liked the one about inviting or at least asking about holidays including ones like July 4th not just for the first year, but forever. That's really nice.
Great post! Thank you.
Love this post — thank you. Seems like the theme is to maintain compassion and respect. Keep invitations coming to ‘couple-y’ gatherings. She will decide whether or not to accept, but I promise she’ll appreciate the thoughtfulness. 💚
Thank you! All of these suggestions are great
I've just returned from a short visit to our close family friend, a widower in his late 80s, so I was ticking the points off as I read them Sue. ;-) We had our little giggle and remembered his wife well - it's her birthday today, and mostly I listened. Heartwarming for both of us.
Brilliant! Once again you nailed it!
Good list of suggestions for helping a widow or widower, but I think that they would be good for anyone who is alone. I especially liked the one about holding her hand or putting your arm around her...so many don't get that comforting touch anymore.
Another thing that rang a bell for me is when you have to label yourself (for you it is widowed and for me it would be divorced). I am single so that is what I mark.
You're right. We all need this stuff. I was also divorced, so I'm two for two. Maybe Single is a state of mind as well as a box on a form. Something to think about.
I love all your suggestions, they hold much wisdom, which you learned from your experience! That's how we seem to learn the best in this life, by experience, as it is the best teacher. Though we wish we didn't have to learn from painful experiences. But that's how our soul learns and grows. Then we understand Love better, really the reason we're here. And you pass on all your wisdom and compassion to others, so they can find inspiration and strength too, as well as connection. God bless you, and all those who find themselves alone, which are many of us.😇💖
Thanks for this great article. Particularly #5. Trying to find common ground is not applicable here, (unless you are also a widow?) just listen and support.
Don't know what happened but I got a note that my comment didn't go through. Well, anyway, I think that the term divorced may imply failure while the term single may imply (true or not) that you are single by choice.
I think you're right. Divorce always had a negative tinge.
It's a great list. Very helpful.
I've also been widowed for 14 years - but I have married again, having initially thought that I'd never find anyone as good as my late husband. I forgot to account for how much my first husband's death would change me as a person; I eventually managed to embrace those changes. The man I am married to now I would never have been attracted to as an earlier person.
Finally, the more of a community you can belong to if you're on your own, the better. Whether it's a church, spiritual community, big family, several friends, doesn't matter. Just the sense of belonging to some group can also really help.
Congrats on your remarriage. You are so right about community. Knowing there's someone out there who cares is essential.
What a lovely column! I’m going to save this for next time someone in my book group or church or neighborhood is widowed…it’s full of so many ideas worth sharing.
Thank you!