When I was working and living on my own, I always had something in the fridge, a bottle of something, and snacks, because friends would drop by after work.
These caregiving days, any visit is carefully orchestrated and screened, given Mum's immunocompromised status. No flying visits. No well-travelled, potential covid-carriers. There's always cake here...I'm just glad I don't have a sweet tooth!
I'm blessed that my close friends and I know the best time to call, so we still have apéro time, just via WhatsApp video. Sometimes, it's spontaneous, but usually it's planned. Now I'm generally drinking tea ;-)
I don't much care for uninvited company but every afternoon, weather permitting, I sit on my front porch reading or knitting and the children come by, sometimes to sit for an hour or two, and tell me about their days. I give them ice cream bars or Hot Wheels cars and listen to their stories and it makes me extremely happy! They read to me when they are learning, play the ukulele, show me when they learn to crochet, and sometimes they act out skits or do tumbling across my lawn. I can hardly believe how much joy they bring!
Most of the visitors at our home are unannounced. They happen to be in the area and decide to just drop by. This does not happen often, and my home is in its usual Chaos when it does happen. However, we are so glad to see them it just does not matter to any of us. A few years ago, my dear friend Barb and her husband Rod, lived about an hour away, traveled often for his Christian singing engagements, and would arrive periodically on their way coming or going to a venue. Shortly ahead of Christmas one year before she passed away, they pulled in The driveway of our new to us home. Rod opened the handicap door on their van and Barb rolled out on the sidewalk, ran up our brand new handicap ramp onto the deck where our Christmas Nativity was glowing in the dark. She was instantly thrilled and said “ you just made Christmas for me.” We both cried because she was so happy to be able to actually enter our home with this new arrangement. Our previous home was not accessible to her and visits took place in the yard or their van. Once indoors, we called for a take out pizza, got some chips and drinks, set the table and enjoyed our meal, and friendship. We had a wonderful time. Within two years she passed away. I have never regretted surprise visits from anyone as you just never know when circumstances will change and end the possibility of great impromptu visits. I’m not single so perhaps if I were alone I might have different feelings. I’m not sure, but I think I would stay the same with unexpected visitor’s even if alone as long as I knew who they were..
Interesting article. We seem to guard our privacy so much these days. Even the phone is an intrusion. We have to text first to see if it's okay to ring. My aunt is in a large retirement village and she loves it because other single neighbours pop in at night to play cards and have a drink. No one has to drive anywhere. She has a connection now when she most needs it, which works for her. Sounds good but then again it could be intrusive too?
Generally I’m a planner, for social as well as work related things. I have energy-limiting health conditions so I have to pave activities (and seeing friends is an activity even though it is a pleasant one). But sometimes I hanker for the days when I just saw friends without us having to plan it months in advance. Hollie McNish absolutely nails this feeling for me! https://www.instagram.com/p/CnA1OBVqEHZ/?hl=en&img_index=1
Growing up, my uncles, aunts, and cousins were always in and out of our house, and vice versa. My husband and I once dropped by a neighbors for an unannounced visit, and it was very awkward.
Maybe it's a family vs. friend thing? Although now that we all have cell phones, I text my cousins first to see if they are up for a visit.
One of the great things of living where I do is nobody ever just drops by. It’s a pain in the ass to get to unless you live in the neighborhood, two trains and then a 15 minute walk. What I do is call friends when I’m in the neighborhood from the street and say hey I’m in the neighborhood. Are you free? which seems like a good middle ground.
I can't remember the last time drop-in company came to our door. There's hardly a phone call without a text message ahead of it. "Is it OK if I give you a call?" Yesterday, a friend texted to see 1) if we were at home 2) if it was OK to stop by when they were out for a walk. We had a 20-minute heads up, and did not pull out the cookies or put on the water for tea, but we had a fine time of catching up on each other's news.
Whatever you write is always sound good and charming so keep up writing for our amusement and entertainment as usual. In our country an uninvited guest is so common that it became a part of our social fabric.
Good question! Pakistani society is closely knitted. Still most maeeiages are arranged by their parents. After marriage most couples prefer to live with their parents. For instance my married son is living with us and we play with his about 6 months son frequently. Finding a suitable girl for 2nd son who will also live with us after marriage.
However in US/West it is quite reverse. Changing society norms is perhaps the hardest job. Kuodos to your amazing and wonderful thoughts for which I salute you!!
We never have unannounced visitors. I miss that from my childhood. Of course, I don't make it easy -- I've lived in so many places and now I'm an ocean away from most of my friends and family.
My husband likes to invite people over but I don't like all the work involved. Thankfully I do enjoy cooking and he's great at cleaning and making the house look otherwise presentable. Regardless, I still feel like if we invite more than a couple people over, I never get to have "good" conversations with anyone as I'm too busy cleaning plates, making sure everyone has a drink, etc.
In our last home in the US, we had a great group of friends that knew that if they needed something they could open any drawer or cabinet or anything and find it themselves:) Oh, how I loved that!
I don't "drop in" on anyone. Here in Spain, people rarely go to each other's houses. You meet out at the local bar/cafe. It's a more "publicly social" society, it seems to me.
Thank you for your insight and info about Spain. You're so right about not having good conversations when you're hosting a lot of people. Smaller is better.
Your stories usually evoke a laugh somewhere and this no exception. The part about putting the Zooming sign out. even when you aren’t zooming … but that you have too many windows and would get caught. Hee, hee!
I’ve never given thought to family dropping by, but reading you say that gave me some bittersweet moments of what it would be like for my mom, dad, or aunt, all passed to be at my door when I opened it. I did have a dream last week where my dear, dear aunt was younger and healthy and vibrant and was just saying hi. Thanks Sue. I really appreciate your writing.
First of all, it would depend on who is dropping in regarding if I like to have people dropping in. For me, it would usually be a neighbor who just popped by to tell me something about what is happening in the neighborhood or wish me happy holidays and even though I might invite them in they usually opt to visit while on the porch because they are busy.
I used to regularly drop in for short visits with my parents and have a cup of coffee with mom without calling but they were the exception. I have always tried to let who I want to visit know I am coming because I want to know if they are going to be home or busy. I do that because I always hated the feeling of no warning when it was done to me.
Not with me. I don’t answer the door
When I was working and living on my own, I always had something in the fridge, a bottle of something, and snacks, because friends would drop by after work.
These caregiving days, any visit is carefully orchestrated and screened, given Mum's immunocompromised status. No flying visits. No well-travelled, potential covid-carriers. There's always cake here...I'm just glad I don't have a sweet tooth!
I'm blessed that my close friends and I know the best time to call, so we still have apéro time, just via WhatsApp video. Sometimes, it's spontaneous, but usually it's planned. Now I'm generally drinking tea ;-)
I don't much care for uninvited company but every afternoon, weather permitting, I sit on my front porch reading or knitting and the children come by, sometimes to sit for an hour or two, and tell me about their days. I give them ice cream bars or Hot Wheels cars and listen to their stories and it makes me extremely happy! They read to me when they are learning, play the ukulele, show me when they learn to crochet, and sometimes they act out skits or do tumbling across my lawn. I can hardly believe how much joy they bring!
That's beautiful!
What a wonderful gift for you and for them!
Most of the visitors at our home are unannounced. They happen to be in the area and decide to just drop by. This does not happen often, and my home is in its usual Chaos when it does happen. However, we are so glad to see them it just does not matter to any of us. A few years ago, my dear friend Barb and her husband Rod, lived about an hour away, traveled often for his Christian singing engagements, and would arrive periodically on their way coming or going to a venue. Shortly ahead of Christmas one year before she passed away, they pulled in The driveway of our new to us home. Rod opened the handicap door on their van and Barb rolled out on the sidewalk, ran up our brand new handicap ramp onto the deck where our Christmas Nativity was glowing in the dark. She was instantly thrilled and said “ you just made Christmas for me.” We both cried because she was so happy to be able to actually enter our home with this new arrangement. Our previous home was not accessible to her and visits took place in the yard or their van. Once indoors, we called for a take out pizza, got some chips and drinks, set the table and enjoyed our meal, and friendship. We had a wonderful time. Within two years she passed away. I have never regretted surprise visits from anyone as you just never know when circumstances will change and end the possibility of great impromptu visits. I’m not single so perhaps if I were alone I might have different feelings. I’m not sure, but I think I would stay the same with unexpected visitor’s even if alone as long as I knew who they were..
Interesting article. We seem to guard our privacy so much these days. Even the phone is an intrusion. We have to text first to see if it's okay to ring. My aunt is in a large retirement village and she loves it because other single neighbours pop in at night to play cards and have a drink. No one has to drive anywhere. She has a connection now when she most needs it, which works for her. Sounds good but then again it could be intrusive too?
Generally I’m a planner, for social as well as work related things. I have energy-limiting health conditions so I have to pave activities (and seeing friends is an activity even though it is a pleasant one). But sometimes I hanker for the days when I just saw friends without us having to plan it months in advance. Hollie McNish absolutely nails this feeling for me! https://www.instagram.com/p/CnA1OBVqEHZ/?hl=en&img_index=1
You are so beautiful
Growing up, my uncles, aunts, and cousins were always in and out of our house, and vice versa. My husband and I once dropped by a neighbors for an unannounced visit, and it was very awkward.
Maybe it's a family vs. friend thing? Although now that we all have cell phones, I text my cousins first to see if they are up for a visit.
One of the great things of living where I do is nobody ever just drops by. It’s a pain in the ass to get to unless you live in the neighborhood, two trains and then a 15 minute walk. What I do is call friends when I’m in the neighborhood from the street and say hey I’m in the neighborhood. Are you free? which seems like a good middle ground.
I can't remember the last time drop-in company came to our door. There's hardly a phone call without a text message ahead of it. "Is it OK if I give you a call?" Yesterday, a friend texted to see 1) if we were at home 2) if it was OK to stop by when they were out for a walk. We had a 20-minute heads up, and did not pull out the cookies or put on the water for tea, but we had a fine time of catching up on each other's news.
Yes!!!
Whatever you write is always sound good and charming so keep up writing for our amusement and entertainment as usual. In our country an uninvited guest is so common that it became a part of our social fabric.
Americans may be a little more closed off than other cultures. Let me ask you: Do many people live alone in Pakistan?
Good question! Pakistani society is closely knitted. Still most maeeiages are arranged by their parents. After marriage most couples prefer to live with their parents. For instance my married son is living with us and we play with his about 6 months son frequently. Finding a suitable girl for 2nd son who will also live with us after marriage.
However in US/West it is quite reverse. Changing society norms is perhaps the hardest job. Kuodos to your amazing and wonderful thoughts for which I salute you!!
drop in on me anytime - if I'm busy stay 5 lovely minutes
I love it.
We never have unannounced visitors. I miss that from my childhood. Of course, I don't make it easy -- I've lived in so many places and now I'm an ocean away from most of my friends and family.
My husband likes to invite people over but I don't like all the work involved. Thankfully I do enjoy cooking and he's great at cleaning and making the house look otherwise presentable. Regardless, I still feel like if we invite more than a couple people over, I never get to have "good" conversations with anyone as I'm too busy cleaning plates, making sure everyone has a drink, etc.
In our last home in the US, we had a great group of friends that knew that if they needed something they could open any drawer or cabinet or anything and find it themselves:) Oh, how I loved that!
I don't "drop in" on anyone. Here in Spain, people rarely go to each other's houses. You meet out at the local bar/cafe. It's a more "publicly social" society, it seems to me.
Thanks for this.
Thank you for your insight and info about Spain. You're so right about not having good conversations when you're hosting a lot of people. Smaller is better.
Your stories usually evoke a laugh somewhere and this no exception. The part about putting the Zooming sign out. even when you aren’t zooming … but that you have too many windows and would get caught. Hee, hee!
I’ve never given thought to family dropping by, but reading you say that gave me some bittersweet moments of what it would be like for my mom, dad, or aunt, all passed to be at my door when I opened it. I did have a dream last week where my dear, dear aunt was younger and healthy and vibrant and was just saying hi. Thanks Sue. I really appreciate your writing.
Thank you so much, Susan.
First of all, it would depend on who is dropping in regarding if I like to have people dropping in. For me, it would usually be a neighbor who just popped by to tell me something about what is happening in the neighborhood or wish me happy holidays and even though I might invite them in they usually opt to visit while on the porch because they are busy.
I used to regularly drop in for short visits with my parents and have a cup of coffee with mom without calling but they were the exception. I have always tried to let who I want to visit know I am coming because I want to know if they are going to be home or busy. I do that because I always hated the feeling of no warning when it was done to me.
Thanks. That makes a lot of sense.