Yes, it's just an ordinary day. Our son died 4/5/2012, a few days before Easter and this is a time of year I just want to be quiet, reflect on my blessings, and maybe take a nice country ride on my e-trike if the weather is warm enough. I am lucky enough to have my husband by my side and that is all I really need and want. Wishing you a peaceful day, I appreciate all that you write.
I’m Jewish, but I miss the lamb cake my Catholic aunt made. The best of both worlds, we celebrated Easter & Passover, Hanukkah & Christmas. Now that I’m older, my parents generation is mostly gone and her kids went their own ways, Sharing holiday traditions w new homegrown families. I don’t miss the religious aspects of either, but I miss the atmosphere of family around the holiday table.
I was raised Catholic, including 12 years of Catholic education. We did the Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday services, and of course Easter morning mass. Haven't done more than just Sunday mass in decades. Hubby is very big on traditions so we will be picking up my sister-in-law (his sister) to take to mass on Sunday. After mass we drive over to the old neighborhood where they grew up, to the house of a childhood friend who still lives there. He goes all out (and I mean ALL OUT) decorating his yard. He is always featured on the local news shows. After that we will head to our niece's home (SIL's daughter). She is anticipating 23 people there. I will not lie. I am not looking forward to all the noise and confusion. Fortunately now that I am retired, I can looking forward to peace and quiet in my days after that.
Whatever you do, I hope you enjoy the day. I think that so many people build up what they think the day should be and when it doesn't turn out to be what the envisioned are disappointed even if it is an enjoyable day. Some people don't realize that they are having a good time until after they are home and have time to reflect on their day.
Usually on Easter and Thanksgiving our younger sister takes us (my sisters and whoever of our adult children are available) out to share a meal and family time. She does this so none of us have to clean our houses or cook.
You sound like you have quite a few ideas and options as to how you spend your day or days. It is interesting though to have the question posed. I’m fortunate to live with my wife of 51 years and close to our son and his family. We both have medium sized gardens which, for the most part, I tend. We live in a lovely little village and regularly walk on the paths and bridleways that border the outskirts. Neither of us has a religious faith and so, no adherences to such ceremonies or memorials. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything in that regard since we enjoy the holiday periods spending time with our family members and occasionally with neighbours. The absence of religion in our lives is not casual neglect, but a deeply considered choice that makes sense to us. It is nevertheless easy , necessary and sensible to engage in care for others and social gatherings.
I enjoy the thoughts and writings of yourself and several others on Substack although I have to wrestle myself away from the small screen when it becomes too close to addiction.
Holy Thursday 2017 my husband participated in the volunteer foot washing at mass. He died on June 20. I will go to Easter morning mass. I am renting a room from my sister's mother in law and plan on fixing chicken and dressing in her crockpot which looks like just the one I left.
I love holidays alone. I do whatever I want and no stress. I have friends or family to call if I want. Even an offer for a small dinner if I want to go to with permission to let them know an hour before cause it’s pretty casual. We shall see. Been thinking how we used to fly kites on Easter. Who knows maybe I’ll do that. Hope you all have a good day whatever you do. 🐰
Not Catholic, but Easters growing up were a lot like the ones others have mentioned here: dressing up, church, hunting for candy, and a big meal (often ham). Sometimes we would travel to be with my grandparents, or they would come to stay with us.
As an adult -- married, childless not by choice -- Easter has been hit & miss. (Most holidays, actually.) My MIL died before I ever met her. Sometimes we'd get invited to my FIL & stepMIL's, but sometimes they would be with her family. Sometimes we'd get invited to my BIL's, but sometimes they'd be with his wife's family. Some years, we'd be on our own. We used to go to church and then out for brunch, but church (and its focus on children) got to be pretty painful after the loss of our baby & the realization of permanent childlessness -- plus the lineups at every restaurant were pretty bad! -- so we stopped doing both. During covid lockdowns, when all other options were off the table, we made an effort to cook nice holiday meals for ourselves -- for Easter it was ham & scalloped potatos with wine and pie with ice cream for dessert, and that turned out pretty well.
FIL is gone now and we've spent most of the past several Easters with BIL & family, which now includes our two adult nephews and their small children (two boys & a girl between them). I put together goody bags for the kids and we have a lot of fun with them, but it can be pretty bittersweet sometimes, thinking about what might have been.
This year, I had a grand time visiting with a cousin and her friends. Last year, I drove to a nearby labyrinth and walked it. Next year, maybe I’ll be the host.
There are 5 services on Christmas Eve at my church with different types of music and usually I go to 2. I enjoy looking at lights and other holiday things bring enjoyment. Easter though has an undertow of loss and wistfulness, sorrow that I've not yet been able to put aside. How has it happened that here I am old enough to be a grandmother and I never had my children to dress in Easter outfits and such, to teach about the joy of Easter. It's as if my children are right there behind the veil, older now. Our church has a tradition of church goers bringing flowers and putting them altogether on a large cross on the church lawn. It's beautiful. Children and more children get their photos taken in front of the cross, bright smocked dresses and boys in fancy shorts, exuberance all over. I've tried going to the sunrise service, but the undertow in my soul was heavy in a different way. For this Easter, I'll move into it the same and see what it holds. Trusting that my God has deep tenderness for this, and my continuing to make my way in life, living with the loss, becomes an expression of love and trust in my Higher Power. Spending the afternoon with my husband and father-in-law, thankful so very much for that unexpected turn of events. (getting married at 53). Thank you Sue for sharing.
I am fortunate that we don't have many children in our parish. Most of the members are older. It would be hard to watch a lot of children celebrating when I never was able to have them either. God will get us through this if we focus on the reason we're gathering.
I feel for your sadness. No two lives are the same and I’m grateful for the chance to share some of yours and some of mine with your other followers.
In my social work career I worked with many children who were unwanted, unloved, neglected or abused. In many cases these situations were passed from generation to generation. Having my own children to go home to was what kept me emotionally strong and able to carry bags of patience and love into my work. Sometimes the patience was sorely tested, but the abuse some children experienced caused such trauma, deeply internalised and taking years for them to begin to trust any adult.
It’s good that you have grown a Substack following and get to share thoughts and feelings here. Long may it continue. Thank you.
Holidays have changed significantly in recent years. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter meant five events in less than 24 hours during my younger adult years. In those days, we coordinated making our appearances at religious services, dinners hosted by my in-laws, my parents, my step-fathers extended family, my mothers extended family., Those times were hectic for me with preparing dishes to take to events, getting ready for each event, traveling, and trying to navigate so many commitments in a short period of time. Our absence at these events would not have gone unnoticed had we decided to reduce our level of attendance. I was exhausted and busy and yet content. Now, due to the deaths of so very many, we find ourselves left with only the religious service and a slow day with my husband, son, mother and sister at my mom’s home.
I remember my Mom and my oldest sister making our fancy Easter dresses. I hated the scratchy and ruffles next to my skin. Also insisting my hair be pulled back and up. I’d rip it right out of my hair. I think I was about 5 or 6. I’m now 67. Both my mom and sister have since passed. I love them so much and miss them and the love they showered over me and all my other brothers and sisters. Those were very good times. We are all scattered now and holidays are spent with my husband who’s been ill and my loving dog. Probably make home made marinara sauce with Italian sausage.
Yes, it's just an ordinary day. Our son died 4/5/2012, a few days before Easter and this is a time of year I just want to be quiet, reflect on my blessings, and maybe take a nice country ride on my e-trike if the weather is warm enough. I am lucky enough to have my husband by my side and that is all I really need and want. Wishing you a peaceful day, I appreciate all that you write.
I’m Jewish, but I miss the lamb cake my Catholic aunt made. The best of both worlds, we celebrated Easter & Passover, Hanukkah & Christmas. Now that I’m older, my parents generation is mostly gone and her kids went their own ways, Sharing holiday traditions w new homegrown families. I don’t miss the religious aspects of either, but I miss the atmosphere of family around the holiday table.
I was raised Catholic, including 12 years of Catholic education. We did the Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday services, and of course Easter morning mass. Haven't done more than just Sunday mass in decades. Hubby is very big on traditions so we will be picking up my sister-in-law (his sister) to take to mass on Sunday. After mass we drive over to the old neighborhood where they grew up, to the house of a childhood friend who still lives there. He goes all out (and I mean ALL OUT) decorating his yard. He is always featured on the local news shows. After that we will head to our niece's home (SIL's daughter). She is anticipating 23 people there. I will not lie. I am not looking forward to all the noise and confusion. Fortunately now that I am retired, I can looking forward to peace and quiet in my days after that.
Whatever you do, I hope you enjoy the day. I think that so many people build up what they think the day should be and when it doesn't turn out to be what the envisioned are disappointed even if it is an enjoyable day. Some people don't realize that they are having a good time until after they are home and have time to reflect on their day.
Usually on Easter and Thanksgiving our younger sister takes us (my sisters and whoever of our adult children are available) out to share a meal and family time. She does this so none of us have to clean our houses or cook.
You're lucky! Fun together and no cooking or cleaning. Enjoy!
You sound like you have quite a few ideas and options as to how you spend your day or days. It is interesting though to have the question posed. I’m fortunate to live with my wife of 51 years and close to our son and his family. We both have medium sized gardens which, for the most part, I tend. We live in a lovely little village and regularly walk on the paths and bridleways that border the outskirts. Neither of us has a religious faith and so, no adherences to such ceremonies or memorials. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything in that regard since we enjoy the holiday periods spending time with our family members and occasionally with neighbours. The absence of religion in our lives is not casual neglect, but a deeply considered choice that makes sense to us. It is nevertheless easy , necessary and sensible to engage in care for others and social gatherings.
I enjoy the thoughts and writings of yourself and several others on Substack although I have to wrestle myself away from the small screen when it becomes too close to addiction.
Holy Thursday 2017 my husband participated in the volunteer foot washing at mass. He died on June 20. I will go to Easter morning mass. I am renting a room from my sister's mother in law and plan on fixing chicken and dressing in her crockpot which looks like just the one I left.
I love holidays alone. I do whatever I want and no stress. I have friends or family to call if I want. Even an offer for a small dinner if I want to go to with permission to let them know an hour before cause it’s pretty casual. We shall see. Been thinking how we used to fly kites on Easter. Who knows maybe I’ll do that. Hope you all have a good day whatever you do. 🐰
Not Catholic, but Easters growing up were a lot like the ones others have mentioned here: dressing up, church, hunting for candy, and a big meal (often ham). Sometimes we would travel to be with my grandparents, or they would come to stay with us.
As an adult -- married, childless not by choice -- Easter has been hit & miss. (Most holidays, actually.) My MIL died before I ever met her. Sometimes we'd get invited to my FIL & stepMIL's, but sometimes they would be with her family. Sometimes we'd get invited to my BIL's, but sometimes they'd be with his wife's family. Some years, we'd be on our own. We used to go to church and then out for brunch, but church (and its focus on children) got to be pretty painful after the loss of our baby & the realization of permanent childlessness -- plus the lineups at every restaurant were pretty bad! -- so we stopped doing both. During covid lockdowns, when all other options were off the table, we made an effort to cook nice holiday meals for ourselves -- for Easter it was ham & scalloped potatos with wine and pie with ice cream for dessert, and that turned out pretty well.
FIL is gone now and we've spent most of the past several Easters with BIL & family, which now includes our two adult nephews and their small children (two boys & a girl between them). I put together goody bags for the kids and we have a lot of fun with them, but it can be pretty bittersweet sometimes, thinking about what might have been.
This year, I had a grand time visiting with a cousin and her friends. Last year, I drove to a nearby labyrinth and walked it. Next year, maybe I’ll be the host.
There are 5 services on Christmas Eve at my church with different types of music and usually I go to 2. I enjoy looking at lights and other holiday things bring enjoyment. Easter though has an undertow of loss and wistfulness, sorrow that I've not yet been able to put aside. How has it happened that here I am old enough to be a grandmother and I never had my children to dress in Easter outfits and such, to teach about the joy of Easter. It's as if my children are right there behind the veil, older now. Our church has a tradition of church goers bringing flowers and putting them altogether on a large cross on the church lawn. It's beautiful. Children and more children get their photos taken in front of the cross, bright smocked dresses and boys in fancy shorts, exuberance all over. I've tried going to the sunrise service, but the undertow in my soul was heavy in a different way. For this Easter, I'll move into it the same and see what it holds. Trusting that my God has deep tenderness for this, and my continuing to make my way in life, living with the loss, becomes an expression of love and trust in my Higher Power. Spending the afternoon with my husband and father-in-law, thankful so very much for that unexpected turn of events. (getting married at 53). Thank you Sue for sharing.
I am fortunate that we don't have many children in our parish. Most of the members are older. It would be hard to watch a lot of children celebrating when I never was able to have them either. God will get us through this if we focus on the reason we're gathering.
I feel for your sadness. No two lives are the same and I’m grateful for the chance to share some of yours and some of mine with your other followers.
In my social work career I worked with many children who were unwanted, unloved, neglected or abused. In many cases these situations were passed from generation to generation. Having my own children to go home to was what kept me emotionally strong and able to carry bags of patience and love into my work. Sometimes the patience was sorely tested, but the abuse some children experienced caused such trauma, deeply internalised and taking years for them to begin to trust any adult.
It’s good that you have grown a Substack following and get to share thoughts and feelings here. Long may it continue. Thank you.
Holidays have changed significantly in recent years. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter meant five events in less than 24 hours during my younger adult years. In those days, we coordinated making our appearances at religious services, dinners hosted by my in-laws, my parents, my step-fathers extended family, my mothers extended family., Those times were hectic for me with preparing dishes to take to events, getting ready for each event, traveling, and trying to navigate so many commitments in a short period of time. Our absence at these events would not have gone unnoticed had we decided to reduce our level of attendance. I was exhausted and busy and yet content. Now, due to the deaths of so very many, we find ourselves left with only the religious service and a slow day with my husband, son, mother and sister at my mom’s home.
I remember similar busy holidays when I was married to my first husband. So busy. Now it's time for quiet. Thank you for sharing this with us.
I remember my Mom and my oldest sister making our fancy Easter dresses. I hated the scratchy and ruffles next to my skin. Also insisting my hair be pulled back and up. I’d rip it right out of my hair. I think I was about 5 or 6. I’m now 67. Both my mom and sister have since passed. I love them so much and miss them and the love they showered over me and all my other brothers and sisters. Those were very good times. We are all scattered now and holidays are spent with my husband who’s been ill and my loving dog. Probably make home made marinara sauce with Italian sausage.
Oh, those scratchy dresses. It's hard when the older ones are gone. But I bet your meal will be delicious.
Thank you