Here's an alternative framing when someone offers to help. (I experienced this as a random act of kindness on the SF Bart train this past year when a younger person offered me a seat on a crowded train. I wasn't even carrying anything, injured, or tired. I could have taken offense and refused the offer, as we stubborn Americans often do.)
I said "Yes, thank you! How very kind of you." and sat. This made me sound like I was 104, not 67 and fit. But here's the point: I was reinforcing the social herd gesture (in a younger member) of being compassionate, noticing another person, and respecting an elder. In other words, accepting help is not weakness on your part; it's an act of teaching. We are the matriarch elephants helping the younger ones learn the ropes of survival. So go forth and be the teacher/mentor!
I love this perspective! I’m usually busy trying to demonstrate how spry and capable I am, but this is such a great message I am rethinking my behavior. Thanks
How timely! Just found a CAP (certified aging in place) occupational therapist on Instagram. It’s called inhomelivingllc. She’s currently helping her mom with devices and methods to live independently after a bad fall, but I think she does this all the time for her regular clients. I’ve picked up some really helpful tips on things like bathing chairs, walker trays etc for my brother who’s recovering from a fall - damaged shoulder and hip. She also has decent suggestions if you’re doing any remodeling so you can age in place. That’s my goal!
I loved the quote you used about the cane allowing you to keep doing. I use a cane now when I am going somewhere and walking outside where walking is uneven. My balance is now somewhat off due to one leg being a bit longer since getting a new hip. At first I was embarrassed to have to use a cane but then I realized using it was much safer. I also envisioned having to have someone help get me off the ground if I fell and felt I that would be more embarrassing.
OK, I’m only 69, but since I broke my hip in 2014, and after a lot of abdominal surgery in 2008 which made my balance very unstable, I gave up and I use a walker, it’s great as i can easily carry things with me, the dogs are happy to walk next to it, and it gives me a freedom and sense of not having to worry about falling. I’m not sure how your walking stick with three legs and a seat will work, but anything that makes us more confident and helps us be out and about is good!!!!
Hot tip. Sticky label with your phone number round the stick shaft enables easy return if you forget your stick in a shop or on a bus etc. Easily lost if you can walk short distances without
Thanks for this piece and ordering info, Sue! Since 2023, when I fell on cement and fractured my pelvis in three places, I've embraced and almost always use trekking poles when I'm out for a walk. Whether it's a "hike" or a walk in town to the coffee shop, library, or post office, if I'm taking a 'purposeful walk', I grab those poles. They give me confidence and stability with those two added points of contact with the ground, cracked and uneven sidewalks, or hilly paved park areas. They're also great for stopping traffic. xoA <3
It's possible that the vast majority of people will NOT think you look like a weirdo. Most people just think about their own goings-on. Many others would think "wow, that's so handy and useful!" Others will have known somebody who used one, or have themselves... I hope you will just enjoy getting outside with your cool chair cane!
"I tried it in the backyard first. My ground is an uneven mix of grass, weeds, dandelions, and rocks. The cane worked great. I’d walk a bit, sit, walk again, sit. It wouldn’t work in the sand; I’d need to be on solid earth or pavement, but I loved my new cane/chair."
FABULOUS idea to do trials first!!!
I have one leg about half an inch shorter than the other. And hypermobility in my leg joints especially the ankle of the shorter leg. None of this was discovered until my 60s. I've never been able to stand on one leg or balance properly. Walking on narrow ledges or paths very risky. My leg(s) can give up or just hurt , especially after a mile or uneven surfaces.
NOT A KLUTZ.
Lifelong unrecognised physical problems. I have orthotic supports in my shoes. I still have to use a walking stick due to impaired balance and a weak ankle. Standing waiting, or walking on hard surfaces can really hurt as cartilage and bone surfaces are giving up due to uneven wear and tear. I can trip or fall easily. I broke my knee once. Never again.
I use a walking stick all the time, in my 60s. It warns other people, protects me.
What am I saying? You might want to be checked for skeletal or muscular or gait or balance problems. Even a little deafness can alter your balance.
I can relate! I got a four-wheeled walker so I'd start walking up and down my street. Then I was too embarrassed to be seen using it! My balance gets wonky so it's a necessity now. It's also still embarrassing!
I love the purple gear! (I used to rock a purple pixie.) And I love how you practice acceptance. I wrote about acceptance last week. Accepting our physical situations allows us to see what we need and adapt, just as you did. Rock on, warrior!!
The first half of this reminded me so much of folks in AA, those who won't go to meetings in their own neighborhood, because they don't want anyone to know. Like you, there seems to be shame in trying to get better, to take care of yourself. Purple. The color of royalty. And Prince. What else does one need?
I have a walker/wheelchair thing called a Zeen. It is odd looking and I always get comments about it, but it keeps me from falling which is huge. I fell using a walker. I fell using crutches. My wheelchair and my Zeen are the only things that keep me from falling. And the Zeen also keeps me from deconditioning. Super helpful!
I don't know. It's on the side, hurts bad for a while, then loosens back up and is fine. I spent some time in PT for this. X-rays showed nothing wrong.
There is no shame in using a cane and thanks for sharing. My grandfather who died in 1979, had a cane with a seat. It had the world's fair ( some year) with a small picture decal on the seat. I wonder where it is now.
Go out and enjoy life; if it requires a cane, so be it. Far better than staying home and missing out. Just be careful on those uneven wildlife walks. The undeveloped ground is not kind to a tripod seat. It could throw you on the ground in some of those undeveloped places.
Here's an alternative framing when someone offers to help. (I experienced this as a random act of kindness on the SF Bart train this past year when a younger person offered me a seat on a crowded train. I wasn't even carrying anything, injured, or tired. I could have taken offense and refused the offer, as we stubborn Americans often do.)
I said "Yes, thank you! How very kind of you." and sat. This made me sound like I was 104, not 67 and fit. But here's the point: I was reinforcing the social herd gesture (in a younger member) of being compassionate, noticing another person, and respecting an elder. In other words, accepting help is not weakness on your part; it's an act of teaching. We are the matriarch elephants helping the younger ones learn the ropes of survival. So go forth and be the teacher/mentor!
Nancy, I love that!
I love this perspective! I’m usually busy trying to demonstrate how spry and capable I am, but this is such a great message I am rethinking my behavior. Thanks
Oh, Nancy! What a great way to frame this. And so true. Thank you. xoA <3
How timely! Just found a CAP (certified aging in place) occupational therapist on Instagram. It’s called inhomelivingllc. She’s currently helping her mom with devices and methods to live independently after a bad fall, but I think she does this all the time for her regular clients. I’ve picked up some really helpful tips on things like bathing chairs, walker trays etc for my brother who’s recovering from a fall - damaged shoulder and hip. She also has decent suggestions if you’re doing any remodeling so you can age in place. That’s my goal!
I loved the quote you used about the cane allowing you to keep doing. I use a cane now when I am going somewhere and walking outside where walking is uneven. My balance is now somewhat off due to one leg being a bit longer since getting a new hip. At first I was embarrassed to have to use a cane but then I realized using it was much safer. I also envisioned having to have someone help get me off the ground if I fell and felt I that would be more embarrassing.
OK, I’m only 69, but since I broke my hip in 2014, and after a lot of abdominal surgery in 2008 which made my balance very unstable, I gave up and I use a walker, it’s great as i can easily carry things with me, the dogs are happy to walk next to it, and it gives me a freedom and sense of not having to worry about falling. I’m not sure how your walking stick with three legs and a seat will work, but anything that makes us more confident and helps us be out and about is good!!!!
If/when I need a walking stick, mine will definitely be purple too!
My current one is royal blue. Red one in waiting.
Hot tip. Sticky label with your phone number round the stick shaft enables easy return if you forget your stick in a shop or on a bus etc. Easily lost if you can walk short distances without
Thanks for this piece and ordering info, Sue! Since 2023, when I fell on cement and fractured my pelvis in three places, I've embraced and almost always use trekking poles when I'm out for a walk. Whether it's a "hike" or a walk in town to the coffee shop, library, or post office, if I'm taking a 'purposeful walk', I grab those poles. They give me confidence and stability with those two added points of contact with the ground, cracked and uneven sidewalks, or hilly paved park areas. They're also great for stopping traffic. xoA <3
Oh my! I had a fall on cement two days ago, thank God nothing was fractured, but the pain is horrid.
It's possible that the vast majority of people will NOT think you look like a weirdo. Most people just think about their own goings-on. Many others would think "wow, that's so handy and useful!" Others will have known somebody who used one, or have themselves... I hope you will just enjoy getting outside with your cool chair cane!
"I tried it in the backyard first. My ground is an uneven mix of grass, weeds, dandelions, and rocks. The cane worked great. I’d walk a bit, sit, walk again, sit. It wouldn’t work in the sand; I’d need to be on solid earth or pavement, but I loved my new cane/chair."
FABULOUS idea to do trials first!!!
I have one leg about half an inch shorter than the other. And hypermobility in my leg joints especially the ankle of the shorter leg. None of this was discovered until my 60s. I've never been able to stand on one leg or balance properly. Walking on narrow ledges or paths very risky. My leg(s) can give up or just hurt , especially after a mile or uneven surfaces.
NOT A KLUTZ.
Lifelong unrecognised physical problems. I have orthotic supports in my shoes. I still have to use a walking stick due to impaired balance and a weak ankle. Standing waiting, or walking on hard surfaces can really hurt as cartilage and bone surfaces are giving up due to uneven wear and tear. I can trip or fall easily. I broke my knee once. Never again.
I use a walking stick all the time, in my 60s. It warns other people, protects me.
What am I saying? You might want to be checked for skeletal or muscular or gait or balance problems. Even a little deafness can alter your balance.
I can relate! I got a four-wheeled walker so I'd start walking up and down my street. Then I was too embarrassed to be seen using it! My balance gets wonky so it's a necessity now. It's also still embarrassing!
I love the purple gear! (I used to rock a purple pixie.) And I love how you practice acceptance. I wrote about acceptance last week. Accepting our physical situations allows us to see what we need and adapt, just as you did. Rock on, warrior!!
The first half of this reminded me so much of folks in AA, those who won't go to meetings in their own neighborhood, because they don't want anyone to know. Like you, there seems to be shame in trying to get better, to take care of yourself. Purple. The color of royalty. And Prince. What else does one need?
I have a walker/wheelchair thing called a Zeen. It is odd looking and I always get comments about it, but it keeps me from falling which is huge. I fell using a walker. I fell using crutches. My wheelchair and my Zeen are the only things that keep me from falling. And the Zeen also keeps me from deconditioning. Super helpful!
I like that. Keep us up on how well it works out!
Bravo!
I love this device. Why is your knee locking up? Torn meniscus?
I don't know. It's on the side, hurts bad for a while, then loosens back up and is fine. I spent some time in PT for this. X-rays showed nothing wrong.
An MRI would show what's wrong. But you’ve got plenty on your plate.
There is no shame in using a cane and thanks for sharing. My grandfather who died in 1979, had a cane with a seat. It had the world's fair ( some year) with a small picture decal on the seat. I wonder where it is now.
Go out and enjoy life; if it requires a cane, so be it. Far better than staying home and missing out. Just be careful on those uneven wildlife walks. The undeveloped ground is not kind to a tripod seat. It could throw you on the ground in some of those undeveloped places.
I am being very careful to make sure all three legs are firmly planted before I plant my bottom on that chair.