We lost our beloved dog more than 4 years ago, and although we talk about getting another one, it still doesn't feel like the right time yet. He was the centre of our lives and we both grieved for a long time. We have decided to wait until we slow down with our travel plans. Finding a good, trusted sitter is key. I have many options available where I live, but it would still be stressful for me, and a new dog until we found the perfect fit. Does your local foster group offer a chance for short term fostering - maybe you could commit to a month or two without travel? Or maybe, like me, you would form a bond and find it too hard to let them go again.... there is no easy answer. Good luck and I hope you make peace with your decision, whatever it is. 💜🐾
We had the same question this summer. We lost our 11 1/2 dog. After much talk and tears, we decided at 77/83 we wanted a pup. It’s kept us moving and laughing though it totally fatiguing. If your health is decent, and you have a plan for “rehoming” if needed—you’ll be so distracted by the new fur baby’s antics your grief won’t be as bad. If we had been smarter, we would have adopted an older dog that was trained.
I feel your pain. If you are not in a position right now to be response-able for another dog due to your other commitments and can't/won't/are unable to rely on others to help when you are away then give yourself some grace and wait. It's OK to do that and give yourself some breathing space. The decision is not imminent and circumstances may change.
Thank you for your bravery and sharing-you never know what magic the New Year will bring!🔮🪄
Sue -- Nobody can answer this question for you. I can only tell you that each time I have said goodbye to a cat, it took a while to be ready for the next cat, and the time was different each time. I still missed all the other kitties (oh, Tosca, you were so pretty and so soft!! 🥰), but I had room in my heart for another AND my life had room too. It is just as important for your life to have room as for your heart to have room. You can have plenty of heart room to hug every dog you meet and yearn to have a dog in your home, AND just not have life room right now. All the best in finding your way to the right decision for you, for now.
I’m 67. I have euthanized 4 cats over the past 40 years. I only wish people could euthanize me when the time comes! It took me about a year to get over each cat. I have always adopted older cats who need a home. I applaud you thinking about this topic.! What about fostering a dog through a humane society? I like the idea of adopting an older dog too.
I am 76 My husband is 81. We just adopted a 2 year old Siberian husky. And looking for a (smaller) second do. Life without dogs is too sad. And there are dog sitters available when needed.
You don’t have to decide. You’ll know the right thing to do when the time comes. Meanwhile you could think about some dog-sitting or dog-walking for the joy of doggy company xx
Only you know the right answer Sue, it’s a tough one to negotiate for all the reasons you are rightly considering… and it’s clear the long term welfare of the dog is paramount to you… At 55 though with a 9 year old Maltese, I currently cannot imagine not having a dog … she lights up mine and the lives of everyone she meets. It’s also quite easy to get others to take care of her because she is super sweet, easy going, gentle and doesn’t shed. I have no doubt you are thinking about this but perhaps getting “less” dog than a beautiful lab helps your deliberations
We have friends who have done both (and are currently working with a fostering cats group)-- but they're short term furry friend commitments where you don't have to pay the medical expenses. Not quite the same as being a forever home, but does provide some of the benefits.
Revanche over at agaishanlife is currently between dogs (she recently lost one and isn't in a place right now to get another) and she's been borrowing her friends' for walks.
Based on your comments Sue, it's time to give up on having your own dog. But perhaps you would like to babysit mine?
We lost our Great Dane and our Labradoodle within months of each other. For the first time in my life since I was 6 years old, I was without a dog. My current husband also had rarely been without a dog since he was a child. But we were approaching seventy, as in only a few months away for my husband, and while we continued to be mobile we wondered if this was it for us as far as dogs were concerned.
And I must admit, after a lengthy illness and the terrible death experiences our poor guys went through, it was pure relief when it was over. We were free of waking up in the night to soaked sheets. Our Great Dane Indigo was incontinent in her final year and I couldn't bear having her relegated to the floor just because she got old. And we were free of watching our little Ollie Bear eventually succumb to a rare intestinal cancer.
But we had fostered for a rescue organization and seven months after losing Indigo, we applied to adopt a 10 year old Golden, thinking that our age (and his) would be perfect for us. They didn't respond.
Having broached the possibility of getting another dog, and having been ignored by the rescue organization, I approached the local humane society about adopting one of their adult dogs. This was during Covid so everything - interviews, discussions on training, etc. was done via the phone. After lots and back and forth - primarily about concerns over our invisible fence surrounding a couple of acres - and nothing to do with our age - they asked if we would be interested in a 4 month old Husky cross puppy. What?
A puppy? Not just any puppy, but a Great Pyrenees / Siberian Husky mix that was likely to top 100 pounds full grown?
We did it. We adopted Shelby. And then the very same rescue organization that rejected / ignored our application for the old Golden, asked us to foster an 8 month old. She was lovely and our Shelby was over the top to have a companion. Neither Shelby or Becky were trained on the invisible fence so it meant walking two big puppies four or five times a day.
When the rescue org and I started searching for a forever home for Becky, lo and behold, there was our own ignored application sitting in their database. Eventually, with a push on Facebook, an acceptable home was found for Becky. At the very least, it energized the rescue organization to, well, get better organized.
Then we were asked to foster another Golden, Mr. Coodge. We were told he was 3 years old and already trained on an Invisible Fence. We took him on and trained our Shelby on the fence at the same time.
He was emaciated. He only had one huge black testicle. He was incontinent and wore doggy diapers. According to the current nasties that "owned" him, he was denied water to keep his incontinence in check and you could not let him near socks or anything else that he could consider as food. He was completely bald on the back end. He had a very large head and very short legs. Previous vet records, as much as they can be trusted in a rescue, showed no flea and tick prevention had ever been used and sure enough, he tested positive for Lyme disease.
A very sick dog. Multiple surgeries, drugs, medicated shampoo and good food and lots of water later, he became the bestest boy and we became foster failures. The rescue organization reluctantly let us adopt him. I mean seriously, you can't find a home for a perfectly healthy beautiful eight month old pup, but think you can find someone who is going to take on this poor abused funny looking 3 year old in diapers?
And here we are. At age seventy, with two one-hundred pound, extremely hairy dogs. It is where I want to be.
Oh yes all of this makes sense. Though fostering and dog walking would be a lot less commitment it’s not the same and if you’re not ready you’re not ready.
I’ve heard of the dog share, a friend of the family does it with their dog. They said it works out really well for everybody. I believe, if my memory serves me rightly, there’s an app or website for it.
Big big hugs, losing an animal takes time to recover from. And although I’m young (depending on who you ask haha) I cried the other day at the thought something might happen to me and I’d leave my doggie alone, she’d be so sad. Keep writing it out and see where it takes you 💚
Two suggestions: foster a pet. Go to the city/county shelter (or google one) and ask about fostering. Thats a short term commitment for you and a huge relief to an over stressed freaked out cat/dog who doesn’t do well in shelters. Second suggestion: adopt an old dog. Any dog over 5 years old is hard to place because everyone wants puppies. Or get a bonded pair of old guys. They’re the absolute best companions and your happiness will be matched by theirs. Do not go through life without an animal, especially in a lonely place. I hope you change your mind.
What a beautiful read. My gorgeous black cat (fostered and then adopted) died just before covid.
His ashes sit in a box in his favourite place on the sunny worktop in my utility room. I chat to him every day and am still not able to let him go to the garden under a new beautiful plant yet.
I am still not able to comprehend how to open myself up again to love, and possibly lose, another beautiful cat.
Instead I am the neighbourhood cat chatter lady. Beware any cat, I like a cuddle and a chat.
That does for now. Until I foster another elderly cat, or 2, as I know I will at some point.
I have been in a very similar situation, wrestling with the question of getting another dog in my 70's. Full disclosure: for the past 40 years I've had at least one dog, sometimes three, and the brief stretches when I had only one, I found myself worrying about losing him/her and the invisible chain that connected them all being broken. I admit, it is much easier having only one dog, but I also love seeing how they bond and interact, and I feel less guilty leaving them alone because they have each other's company. For me, what has helped is having a support system in place before the dog comes home. That includes a trainer and/or obedience classes for any age dog, which helps you bond with them and helps problem-solve. I am also fortunate to have a neighbor who loves to walk and had recently lost their elderly dog. Most days of the week he takes my younger dog for a long walk, and is usually around to let the dogs out if I am going to be gone for awhile during the day. In exchange I make regular donations to a food pantry where he volunteers. This neighbor and his wife are also designated as legal guardians of my dogs should something happen to me. I also found a wonderful pet sitter who stays at the house if I travel. So I patched together a support system of trainer, neighbors, and pet/house sitter. And I chose the dog carefully, knowing a lot about his personality and puppyhood beforehand and what would be the best fit with my lifestyle. He has brought me so much joy, the effort is worth it. Another thought that occurs is, there are wonderful dogs and cats that need a new home when their owner goes into hospice. Tragically, a beloved pet may face homelessness or euthanasia because no family member can adopt them. Many hospices are looking for placements of these pets, and you would know something of the pet's history and, assuming the owner is still alive, give them and the family the gift of knowing their beloved pet would be cared for. Finally, it sounds like the traumatic end to Annie's life is holding you back. There are now veterinarians who provide pet hospice and palliative care and in-home euthanasia when the time comes. Lap of Love is one that is nationwide. Their web site also has a lot of information on pet health issues and pet loss. I hope this is helpful. It sounds like you have a very full life and are thinking this through carefully. I'm sure the right answer will appear!
Thank you, Laurel. This is very helpful information. Yes, Annie's death was truly traumatic, and it still haunts me. But there are lots of possibilities for new dog love.
Life is hard enough. I think when you feel the need for a dog go ask your neighbor if you can walk theirs,I’m sure they would like that. I was a dog owner for a long time. The only thing I truly miss is the walks. Very much enjoyed your book and your posts.
We lost our beloved dog more than 4 years ago, and although we talk about getting another one, it still doesn't feel like the right time yet. He was the centre of our lives and we both grieved for a long time. We have decided to wait until we slow down with our travel plans. Finding a good, trusted sitter is key. I have many options available where I live, but it would still be stressful for me, and a new dog until we found the perfect fit. Does your local foster group offer a chance for short term fostering - maybe you could commit to a month or two without travel? Or maybe, like me, you would form a bond and find it too hard to let them go again.... there is no easy answer. Good luck and I hope you make peace with your decision, whatever it is. 💜🐾
I won't pretend to give advice, just now that you are not the only one to ponder this issue. Hope you're solution brings peace of any sort.
We had the same question this summer. We lost our 11 1/2 dog. After much talk and tears, we decided at 77/83 we wanted a pup. It’s kept us moving and laughing though it totally fatiguing. If your health is decent, and you have a plan for “rehoming” if needed—you’ll be so distracted by the new fur baby’s antics your grief won’t be as bad. If we had been smarter, we would have adopted an older dog that was trained.
I feel your pain. If you are not in a position right now to be response-able for another dog due to your other commitments and can't/won't/are unable to rely on others to help when you are away then give yourself some grace and wait. It's OK to do that and give yourself some breathing space. The decision is not imminent and circumstances may change.
Thank you for your bravery and sharing-you never know what magic the New Year will bring!🔮🪄
Sue -- Nobody can answer this question for you. I can only tell you that each time I have said goodbye to a cat, it took a while to be ready for the next cat, and the time was different each time. I still missed all the other kitties (oh, Tosca, you were so pretty and so soft!! 🥰), but I had room in my heart for another AND my life had room too. It is just as important for your life to have room as for your heart to have room. You can have plenty of heart room to hug every dog you meet and yearn to have a dog in your home, AND just not have life room right now. All the best in finding your way to the right decision for you, for now.
I’m 67. I have euthanized 4 cats over the past 40 years. I only wish people could euthanize me when the time comes! It took me about a year to get over each cat. I have always adopted older cats who need a home. I applaud you thinking about this topic.! What about fostering a dog through a humane society? I like the idea of adopting an older dog too.
I am 76 My husband is 81. We just adopted a 2 year old Siberian husky. And looking for a (smaller) second do. Life without dogs is too sad. And there are dog sitters available when needed.
You don’t have to decide. You’ll know the right thing to do when the time comes. Meanwhile you could think about some dog-sitting or dog-walking for the joy of doggy company xx
Only you know the right answer Sue, it’s a tough one to negotiate for all the reasons you are rightly considering… and it’s clear the long term welfare of the dog is paramount to you… At 55 though with a 9 year old Maltese, I currently cannot imagine not having a dog … she lights up mine and the lives of everyone she meets. It’s also quite easy to get others to take care of her because she is super sweet, easy going, gentle and doesn’t shed. I have no doubt you are thinking about this but perhaps getting “less” dog than a beautiful lab helps your deliberations
Have you considered:
1. Fostering
2. Training potential guide dog puppies?
We have friends who have done both (and are currently working with a fostering cats group)-- but they're short term furry friend commitments where you don't have to pay the medical expenses. Not quite the same as being a forever home, but does provide some of the benefits.
Revanche over at agaishanlife is currently between dogs (she recently lost one and isn't in a place right now to get another) and she's been borrowing her friends' for walks.
Based on your comments Sue, it's time to give up on having your own dog. But perhaps you would like to babysit mine?
We lost our Great Dane and our Labradoodle within months of each other. For the first time in my life since I was 6 years old, I was without a dog. My current husband also had rarely been without a dog since he was a child. But we were approaching seventy, as in only a few months away for my husband, and while we continued to be mobile we wondered if this was it for us as far as dogs were concerned.
And I must admit, after a lengthy illness and the terrible death experiences our poor guys went through, it was pure relief when it was over. We were free of waking up in the night to soaked sheets. Our Great Dane Indigo was incontinent in her final year and I couldn't bear having her relegated to the floor just because she got old. And we were free of watching our little Ollie Bear eventually succumb to a rare intestinal cancer.
But we had fostered for a rescue organization and seven months after losing Indigo, we applied to adopt a 10 year old Golden, thinking that our age (and his) would be perfect for us. They didn't respond.
Having broached the possibility of getting another dog, and having been ignored by the rescue organization, I approached the local humane society about adopting one of their adult dogs. This was during Covid so everything - interviews, discussions on training, etc. was done via the phone. After lots and back and forth - primarily about concerns over our invisible fence surrounding a couple of acres - and nothing to do with our age - they asked if we would be interested in a 4 month old Husky cross puppy. What?
A puppy? Not just any puppy, but a Great Pyrenees / Siberian Husky mix that was likely to top 100 pounds full grown?
We did it. We adopted Shelby. And then the very same rescue organization that rejected / ignored our application for the old Golden, asked us to foster an 8 month old. She was lovely and our Shelby was over the top to have a companion. Neither Shelby or Becky were trained on the invisible fence so it meant walking two big puppies four or five times a day.
When the rescue org and I started searching for a forever home for Becky, lo and behold, there was our own ignored application sitting in their database. Eventually, with a push on Facebook, an acceptable home was found for Becky. At the very least, it energized the rescue organization to, well, get better organized.
Then we were asked to foster another Golden, Mr. Coodge. We were told he was 3 years old and already trained on an Invisible Fence. We took him on and trained our Shelby on the fence at the same time.
He was emaciated. He only had one huge black testicle. He was incontinent and wore doggy diapers. According to the current nasties that "owned" him, he was denied water to keep his incontinence in check and you could not let him near socks or anything else that he could consider as food. He was completely bald on the back end. He had a very large head and very short legs. Previous vet records, as much as they can be trusted in a rescue, showed no flea and tick prevention had ever been used and sure enough, he tested positive for Lyme disease.
A very sick dog. Multiple surgeries, drugs, medicated shampoo and good food and lots of water later, he became the bestest boy and we became foster failures. The rescue organization reluctantly let us adopt him. I mean seriously, you can't find a home for a perfectly healthy beautiful eight month old pup, but think you can find someone who is going to take on this poor abused funny looking 3 year old in diapers?
And here we are. At age seventy, with two one-hundred pound, extremely hairy dogs. It is where I want to be.
That's amazing. I don't know where you live, but let me know if you need a dog-sitter.
Oh yes all of this makes sense. Though fostering and dog walking would be a lot less commitment it’s not the same and if you’re not ready you’re not ready.
I’ve heard of the dog share, a friend of the family does it with their dog. They said it works out really well for everybody. I believe, if my memory serves me rightly, there’s an app or website for it.
Big big hugs, losing an animal takes time to recover from. And although I’m young (depending on who you ask haha) I cried the other day at the thought something might happen to me and I’d leave my doggie alone, she’d be so sad. Keep writing it out and see where it takes you 💚
Thank you so much.
Two suggestions: foster a pet. Go to the city/county shelter (or google one) and ask about fostering. Thats a short term commitment for you and a huge relief to an over stressed freaked out cat/dog who doesn’t do well in shelters. Second suggestion: adopt an old dog. Any dog over 5 years old is hard to place because everyone wants puppies. Or get a bonded pair of old guys. They’re the absolute best companions and your happiness will be matched by theirs. Do not go through life without an animal, especially in a lonely place. I hope you change your mind.
The foster program here requires that you not travel while fostering, and that is a problem for me. But thank you for your kind words.
What a beautiful read. My gorgeous black cat (fostered and then adopted) died just before covid.
His ashes sit in a box in his favourite place on the sunny worktop in my utility room. I chat to him every day and am still not able to let him go to the garden under a new beautiful plant yet.
I am still not able to comprehend how to open myself up again to love, and possibly lose, another beautiful cat.
Instead I am the neighbourhood cat chatter lady. Beware any cat, I like a cuddle and a chat.
That does for now. Until I foster another elderly cat, or 2, as I know I will at some point.
Take your time to heal.
I have been in a very similar situation, wrestling with the question of getting another dog in my 70's. Full disclosure: for the past 40 years I've had at least one dog, sometimes three, and the brief stretches when I had only one, I found myself worrying about losing him/her and the invisible chain that connected them all being broken. I admit, it is much easier having only one dog, but I also love seeing how they bond and interact, and I feel less guilty leaving them alone because they have each other's company. For me, what has helped is having a support system in place before the dog comes home. That includes a trainer and/or obedience classes for any age dog, which helps you bond with them and helps problem-solve. I am also fortunate to have a neighbor who loves to walk and had recently lost their elderly dog. Most days of the week he takes my younger dog for a long walk, and is usually around to let the dogs out if I am going to be gone for awhile during the day. In exchange I make regular donations to a food pantry where he volunteers. This neighbor and his wife are also designated as legal guardians of my dogs should something happen to me. I also found a wonderful pet sitter who stays at the house if I travel. So I patched together a support system of trainer, neighbors, and pet/house sitter. And I chose the dog carefully, knowing a lot about his personality and puppyhood beforehand and what would be the best fit with my lifestyle. He has brought me so much joy, the effort is worth it. Another thought that occurs is, there are wonderful dogs and cats that need a new home when their owner goes into hospice. Tragically, a beloved pet may face homelessness or euthanasia because no family member can adopt them. Many hospices are looking for placements of these pets, and you would know something of the pet's history and, assuming the owner is still alive, give them and the family the gift of knowing their beloved pet would be cared for. Finally, it sounds like the traumatic end to Annie's life is holding you back. There are now veterinarians who provide pet hospice and palliative care and in-home euthanasia when the time comes. Lap of Love is one that is nationwide. Their web site also has a lot of information on pet health issues and pet loss. I hope this is helpful. It sounds like you have a very full life and are thinking this through carefully. I'm sure the right answer will appear!
Thank you, Laurel. This is very helpful information. Yes, Annie's death was truly traumatic, and it still haunts me. But there are lots of possibilities for new dog love.
Life is hard enough. I think when you feel the need for a dog go ask your neighbor if you can walk theirs,I’m sure they would like that. I was a dog owner for a long time. The only thing I truly miss is the walks. Very much enjoyed your book and your posts.
Thank you, Nancy.