I feel your pain. If you are not in a position right now to be response-able for another dog due to your other commitments and can't/won't/are unable to rely on others to help when you are away then give yourself some grace and wait. It's OK to do that and give yourself some breathing space. The decision is not imminent and circumstances may change.
Thank you for your bravery and sharing-you never know what magic the New Year will bring!🔮🪄
We lost our beloved dog more than 4 years ago, and although we talk about getting another one, it still doesn't feel like the right time yet. He was the centre of our lives and we both grieved for a long time. We have decided to wait until we slow down with our travel plans. Finding a good, trusted sitter is key. I have many options available where I live, but it would still be stressful for me, and a new dog until we found the perfect fit. Does your local foster group offer a chance for short term fostering - maybe you could commit to a month or two without travel? Or maybe, like me, you would form a bond and find it too hard to let them go again.... there is no easy answer. Good luck and I hope you make peace with your decision, whatever it is. 💜🐾
I’m 67. I have euthanized 4 cats over the past 40 years. I only wish people could euthanize me when the time comes! It took me about a year to get over each cat. I have always adopted older cats who need a home. I applaud you thinking about this topic.! What about fostering a dog through a humane society? I like the idea of adopting an older dog too.
I am 76 My husband is 81. We just adopted a 2 year old Siberian husky. And looking for a (smaller) second do. Life without dogs is too sad. And there are dog sitters available when needed.
We had the same question this summer. We lost our 11 1/2 dog. After much talk and tears, we decided at 77/83 we wanted a pup. It’s kept us moving and laughing though it totally fatiguing. If your health is decent, and you have a plan for “rehoming” if needed—you’ll be so distracted by the new fur baby’s antics your grief won’t be as bad. If we had been smarter, we would have adopted an older dog that was trained.
Only you know the right answer Sue, it’s a tough one to negotiate for all the reasons you are rightly considering… and it’s clear the long term welfare of the dog is paramount to you… At 55 though with a 9 year old Maltese, I currently cannot imagine not having a dog … she lights up mine and the lives of everyone she meets. It’s also quite easy to get others to take care of her because she is super sweet, easy going, gentle and doesn’t shed. I have no doubt you are thinking about this but perhaps getting “less” dog than a beautiful lab helps your deliberations
Sue -- Nobody can answer this question for you. I can only tell you that each time I have said goodbye to a cat, it took a while to be ready for the next cat, and the time was different each time. I still missed all the other kitties (oh, Tosca, you were so pretty and so soft!! 🥰), but I had room in my heart for another AND my life had room too. It is just as important for your life to have room as for your heart to have room. You can have plenty of heart room to hug every dog you meet and yearn to have a dog in your home, AND just not have life room right now. All the best in finding your way to the right decision for you, for now.
We have friends who have done both (and are currently working with a fostering cats group)-- but they're short term furry friend commitments where you don't have to pay the medical expenses. Not quite the same as being a forever home, but does provide some of the benefits.
Revanche over at agaishanlife is currently between dogs (she recently lost one and isn't in a place right now to get another) and she's been borrowing her friends' for walks.
Life is hard enough. I think when you feel the need for a dog go ask your neighbor if you can walk theirs,I’m sure they would like that. I was a dog owner for a long time. The only thing I truly miss is the walks. Very much enjoyed your book and your posts.
Based on your comments Sue, it's time to give up on having your own dog. But perhaps you would like to babysit mine?
We lost our Great Dane and our Labradoodle within months of each other. For the first time in my life since I was 6 years old, I was without a dog. My current husband also had rarely been without a dog since he was a child. But we were approaching seventy, as in only a few months away for my husband, and while we continued to be mobile we wondered if this was it for us as far as dogs were concerned.
And I must admit, after a lengthy illness and the terrible death experiences our poor guys went through, it was pure relief when it was over. We were free of waking up in the night to soaked sheets. Our Great Dane Indigo was incontinent in her final year and I couldn't bear having her relegated to the floor just because she got old. And we were free of watching our little Ollie Bear eventually succumb to a rare intestinal cancer.
But we had fostered for a rescue organization and seven months after losing Indigo, we applied to adopt a 10 year old Golden, thinking that our age (and his) would be perfect for us. They didn't respond.
Having broached the possibility of getting another dog, and having been ignored by the rescue organization, I approached the local humane society about adopting one of their adult dogs. This was during Covid so everything - interviews, discussions on training, etc. was done via the phone. After lots and back and forth - primarily about concerns over our invisible fence surrounding a couple of acres - and nothing to do with our age - they asked if we would be interested in a 4 month old Husky cross puppy. What?
A puppy? Not just any puppy, but a Great Pyrenees / Siberian Husky mix that was likely to top 100 pounds full grown?
We did it. We adopted Shelby. And then the very same rescue organization that rejected / ignored our application for the old Golden, asked us to foster an 8 month old. She was lovely and our Shelby was over the top to have a companion. Neither Shelby or Becky were trained on the invisible fence so it meant walking two big puppies four or five times a day.
When the rescue org and I started searching for a forever home for Becky, lo and behold, there was our own ignored application sitting in their database. Eventually, with a push on Facebook, an acceptable home was found for Becky. At the very least, it energized the rescue organization to, well, get better organized.
Then we were asked to foster another Golden, Mr. Coodge. We were told he was 3 years old and already trained on an Invisible Fence. We took him on and trained our Shelby on the fence at the same time.
He was emaciated. He only had one huge black testicle. He was incontinent and wore doggy diapers. According to the current nasties that "owned" him, he was denied water to keep his incontinence in check and you could not let him near socks or anything else that he could consider as food. He was completely bald on the back end. He had a very large head and very short legs. Previous vet records, as much as they can be trusted in a rescue, showed no flea and tick prevention had ever been used and sure enough, he tested positive for Lyme disease.
A very sick dog. Multiple surgeries, drugs, medicated shampoo and good food and lots of water later, he became the bestest boy and we became foster failures. The rescue organization reluctantly let us adopt him. I mean seriously, you can't find a home for a perfectly healthy beautiful eight month old pup, but think you can find someone who is going to take on this poor abused funny looking 3 year old in diapers?
And here we are. At age seventy, with two one-hundred pound, extremely hairy dogs. It is where I want to be.
Oh yes all of this makes sense. Though fostering and dog walking would be a lot less commitment it’s not the same and if you’re not ready you’re not ready.
I’ve heard of the dog share, a friend of the family does it with their dog. They said it works out really well for everybody. I believe, if my memory serves me rightly, there’s an app or website for it.
Big big hugs, losing an animal takes time to recover from. And although I’m young (depending on who you ask haha) I cried the other day at the thought something might happen to me and I’d leave my doggie alone, she’d be so sad. Keep writing it out and see where it takes you 💚
You're not alone with these thoughts. I'm about to turn 61. I still work full-time, I'm a caregiver for a partner with dementia, and I have two aging animals. It's a lot, and I don't think I'm going to be in any hurry to replace the creatures who depend on me with more creatures who depend on me. (Of course, I didn't think I'd want another dog after the last one died, but then I saw a photo of sweet Millie Maxine, and . . . 🤷♀️)
If it's time for a new animal companion, you'll know that in your heart. If you don't know, then it's not time.
I understand how you feel Sue, I think it is only a decision we can make for ourselves. I now have three dogs yet 7 years my husband, John and me agreed we would not replace our dog Ledley. Then six years John died and Ledley two months later, impulsively I got Milred the next month, I couldn't bear a quiet house. Then at 6 months she was given 6 -18 months to live because she was born with kidneys like pickled walnuts. Along came Humphrey another black bundle of loving madness. Then 2 years later my son moved back home with his French bulldog. Would I choose to live with 3 dogs definitely not. I love them to bits but they are such a tie. Will I replace them, no I am slowing down now and they are still young. Am I sorry I have them all definitely not they have seen me through very tough times and I love their mad, quirky personalities. 😘😘
I think you should find a dog..mayb not as big as Annie. So many out there who need someone to love them. You could board when you travel. We did that with our dog Rowdy who seemed to like it there.. They were so good to him.. Or mayb a kitty. You know I have lost furry friends and now have Pandora. She probably will outlive me but Wendy will take her. You have to plan for that. I think a pet would fill those lonely times. You have the perfect place for one.
Everyone keeps forgetting I'm allergic to cats. There's no close place to board a dog anymore, and Annie hated the place in Tidewater so much I stopped taking her there. Later, she had too many health issues. But I will keep thinking about it.
Two suggestions: foster a pet. Go to the city/county shelter (or google one) and ask about fostering. Thats a short term commitment for you and a huge relief to an over stressed freaked out cat/dog who doesn’t do well in shelters. Second suggestion: adopt an old dog. Any dog over 5 years old is hard to place because everyone wants puppies. Or get a bonded pair of old guys. They’re the absolute best companions and your happiness will be matched by theirs. Do not go through life without an animal, especially in a lonely place. I hope you change your mind.
I feel your pain. If you are not in a position right now to be response-able for another dog due to your other commitments and can't/won't/are unable to rely on others to help when you are away then give yourself some grace and wait. It's OK to do that and give yourself some breathing space. The decision is not imminent and circumstances may change.
Thank you for your bravery and sharing-you never know what magic the New Year will bring!🔮🪄
We lost our beloved dog more than 4 years ago, and although we talk about getting another one, it still doesn't feel like the right time yet. He was the centre of our lives and we both grieved for a long time. We have decided to wait until we slow down with our travel plans. Finding a good, trusted sitter is key. I have many options available where I live, but it would still be stressful for me, and a new dog until we found the perfect fit. Does your local foster group offer a chance for short term fostering - maybe you could commit to a month or two without travel? Or maybe, like me, you would form a bond and find it too hard to let them go again.... there is no easy answer. Good luck and I hope you make peace with your decision, whatever it is. 💜🐾
I’m 67. I have euthanized 4 cats over the past 40 years. I only wish people could euthanize me when the time comes! It took me about a year to get over each cat. I have always adopted older cats who need a home. I applaud you thinking about this topic.! What about fostering a dog through a humane society? I like the idea of adopting an older dog too.
I won't pretend to give advice, just now that you are not the only one to ponder this issue. Hope you're solution brings peace of any sort.
I am 76 My husband is 81. We just adopted a 2 year old Siberian husky. And looking for a (smaller) second do. Life without dogs is too sad. And there are dog sitters available when needed.
We had the same question this summer. We lost our 11 1/2 dog. After much talk and tears, we decided at 77/83 we wanted a pup. It’s kept us moving and laughing though it totally fatiguing. If your health is decent, and you have a plan for “rehoming” if needed—you’ll be so distracted by the new fur baby’s antics your grief won’t be as bad. If we had been smarter, we would have adopted an older dog that was trained.
Only you know the right answer Sue, it’s a tough one to negotiate for all the reasons you are rightly considering… and it’s clear the long term welfare of the dog is paramount to you… At 55 though with a 9 year old Maltese, I currently cannot imagine not having a dog … she lights up mine and the lives of everyone she meets. It’s also quite easy to get others to take care of her because she is super sweet, easy going, gentle and doesn’t shed. I have no doubt you are thinking about this but perhaps getting “less” dog than a beautiful lab helps your deliberations
Sue -- Nobody can answer this question for you. I can only tell you that each time I have said goodbye to a cat, it took a while to be ready for the next cat, and the time was different each time. I still missed all the other kitties (oh, Tosca, you were so pretty and so soft!! 🥰), but I had room in my heart for another AND my life had room too. It is just as important for your life to have room as for your heart to have room. You can have plenty of heart room to hug every dog you meet and yearn to have a dog in your home, AND just not have life room right now. All the best in finding your way to the right decision for you, for now.
Have you considered:
1. Fostering
2. Training potential guide dog puppies?
We have friends who have done both (and are currently working with a fostering cats group)-- but they're short term furry friend commitments where you don't have to pay the medical expenses. Not quite the same as being a forever home, but does provide some of the benefits.
Revanche over at agaishanlife is currently between dogs (she recently lost one and isn't in a place right now to get another) and she's been borrowing her friends' for walks.
Life is hard enough. I think when you feel the need for a dog go ask your neighbor if you can walk theirs,I’m sure they would like that. I was a dog owner for a long time. The only thing I truly miss is the walks. Very much enjoyed your book and your posts.
Thank you, Nancy.
Based on your comments Sue, it's time to give up on having your own dog. But perhaps you would like to babysit mine?
We lost our Great Dane and our Labradoodle within months of each other. For the first time in my life since I was 6 years old, I was without a dog. My current husband also had rarely been without a dog since he was a child. But we were approaching seventy, as in only a few months away for my husband, and while we continued to be mobile we wondered if this was it for us as far as dogs were concerned.
And I must admit, after a lengthy illness and the terrible death experiences our poor guys went through, it was pure relief when it was over. We were free of waking up in the night to soaked sheets. Our Great Dane Indigo was incontinent in her final year and I couldn't bear having her relegated to the floor just because she got old. And we were free of watching our little Ollie Bear eventually succumb to a rare intestinal cancer.
But we had fostered for a rescue organization and seven months after losing Indigo, we applied to adopt a 10 year old Golden, thinking that our age (and his) would be perfect for us. They didn't respond.
Having broached the possibility of getting another dog, and having been ignored by the rescue organization, I approached the local humane society about adopting one of their adult dogs. This was during Covid so everything - interviews, discussions on training, etc. was done via the phone. After lots and back and forth - primarily about concerns over our invisible fence surrounding a couple of acres - and nothing to do with our age - they asked if we would be interested in a 4 month old Husky cross puppy. What?
A puppy? Not just any puppy, but a Great Pyrenees / Siberian Husky mix that was likely to top 100 pounds full grown?
We did it. We adopted Shelby. And then the very same rescue organization that rejected / ignored our application for the old Golden, asked us to foster an 8 month old. She was lovely and our Shelby was over the top to have a companion. Neither Shelby or Becky were trained on the invisible fence so it meant walking two big puppies four or five times a day.
When the rescue org and I started searching for a forever home for Becky, lo and behold, there was our own ignored application sitting in their database. Eventually, with a push on Facebook, an acceptable home was found for Becky. At the very least, it energized the rescue organization to, well, get better organized.
Then we were asked to foster another Golden, Mr. Coodge. We were told he was 3 years old and already trained on an Invisible Fence. We took him on and trained our Shelby on the fence at the same time.
He was emaciated. He only had one huge black testicle. He was incontinent and wore doggy diapers. According to the current nasties that "owned" him, he was denied water to keep his incontinence in check and you could not let him near socks or anything else that he could consider as food. He was completely bald on the back end. He had a very large head and very short legs. Previous vet records, as much as they can be trusted in a rescue, showed no flea and tick prevention had ever been used and sure enough, he tested positive for Lyme disease.
A very sick dog. Multiple surgeries, drugs, medicated shampoo and good food and lots of water later, he became the bestest boy and we became foster failures. The rescue organization reluctantly let us adopt him. I mean seriously, you can't find a home for a perfectly healthy beautiful eight month old pup, but think you can find someone who is going to take on this poor abused funny looking 3 year old in diapers?
And here we are. At age seventy, with two one-hundred pound, extremely hairy dogs. It is where I want to be.
That's amazing. I don't know where you live, but let me know if you need a dog-sitter.
Oh yes all of this makes sense. Though fostering and dog walking would be a lot less commitment it’s not the same and if you’re not ready you’re not ready.
I’ve heard of the dog share, a friend of the family does it with their dog. They said it works out really well for everybody. I believe, if my memory serves me rightly, there’s an app or website for it.
Big big hugs, losing an animal takes time to recover from. And although I’m young (depending on who you ask haha) I cried the other day at the thought something might happen to me and I’d leave my doggie alone, she’d be so sad. Keep writing it out and see where it takes you 💚
Thank you so much.
You're not alone with these thoughts. I'm about to turn 61. I still work full-time, I'm a caregiver for a partner with dementia, and I have two aging animals. It's a lot, and I don't think I'm going to be in any hurry to replace the creatures who depend on me with more creatures who depend on me. (Of course, I didn't think I'd want another dog after the last one died, but then I saw a photo of sweet Millie Maxine, and . . . 🤷♀️)
If it's time for a new animal companion, you'll know that in your heart. If you don't know, then it's not time.
Thank you, Pam. This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Say hi to Millie Maxine. What a great name.
I understand how you feel Sue, I think it is only a decision we can make for ourselves. I now have three dogs yet 7 years my husband, John and me agreed we would not replace our dog Ledley. Then six years John died and Ledley two months later, impulsively I got Milred the next month, I couldn't bear a quiet house. Then at 6 months she was given 6 -18 months to live because she was born with kidneys like pickled walnuts. Along came Humphrey another black bundle of loving madness. Then 2 years later my son moved back home with his French bulldog. Would I choose to live with 3 dogs definitely not. I love them to bits but they are such a tie. Will I replace them, no I am slowing down now and they are still young. Am I sorry I have them all definitely not they have seen me through very tough times and I love their mad, quirky personalities. 😘😘
❤️
I think you should find a dog..mayb not as big as Annie. So many out there who need someone to love them. You could board when you travel. We did that with our dog Rowdy who seemed to like it there.. They were so good to him.. Or mayb a kitty. You know I have lost furry friends and now have Pandora. She probably will outlive me but Wendy will take her. You have to plan for that. I think a pet would fill those lonely times. You have the perfect place for one.
Everyone keeps forgetting I'm allergic to cats. There's no close place to board a dog anymore, and Annie hated the place in Tidewater so much I stopped taking her there. Later, she had too many health issues. But I will keep thinking about it.
Two suggestions: foster a pet. Go to the city/county shelter (or google one) and ask about fostering. Thats a short term commitment for you and a huge relief to an over stressed freaked out cat/dog who doesn’t do well in shelters. Second suggestion: adopt an old dog. Any dog over 5 years old is hard to place because everyone wants puppies. Or get a bonded pair of old guys. They’re the absolute best companions and your happiness will be matched by theirs. Do not go through life without an animal, especially in a lonely place. I hope you change your mind.
The foster program here requires that you not travel while fostering, and that is a problem for me. But thank you for your kind words.