Happy Birthday! My daughter taught me an important lesson the year her divorce was finalized: she threw herself a birthday party and invited her friends because, as her therapist put it, "Why not assume that your friends would welcome the opportunity to celebrate you?" Great turnout and the best birthday party she'd ever had, since she planned it exactly as she wanted.
Happy birthday, March birthday buddy. I will be celebrating both my birthday and my sobriety anniversary (the day after). It will be especially special this year because it is the first one both my husband and I are retired, and yesterday I received some good news regarding a medical issue. There may not be any presents or cards but there will be cake and that's most important 😀
Well, I hope that you have a happy and healthy day and year filled with all the things that you love to do. I guess I never thought about Fred being so much older than you or actually any set age.
I share my birthday with twin sister and my son...my twin told me probably when we were in our thirties that I was responsible for planning and holding our birthday happenings because there were two of us and only one of her, so I do but I gotta say that I usually only decide what we are eating (which I never prepare), decide on a theme (usually something food related to what I am serving like piazza on the patio) and on the day just kick back and visit...we do not get or give gifts.
Most of my working life, my birthday fell on a day I was working. So, going out to dinner with my husband was it. And my first husband bought me wonderful gifts that we could not afford and my second would ask me to pick out what I wanted from a catalog and he would order it. So, now that I can do it "my way,"I get something I really want and eat what I really want that day and most years a friend will treat me to lunch on either the actual day or close to it. And since I'm 83, you're just a young whipper-snapper, Sue! Happy Birthday and enjoy it your way!!!
Happy Birthday to you! It is interesting how our birth days can hijack our happiness sometimes. I grew up with my family either lumping my birthday in with my Grandmother’s birthday 20 days earlier or forgetting it entirely. I remember waiting and wishing to be celebrated. Then came my 50th and I knew the disappointment was going to be there. So I left state, went on my own journey and celebrated myself! It is one of the best birthdays I ever had. Now, I celebrate myself and I love that I was born!
March 4th was my birthday. I turned 69. This is the first birthday I've had since my wife died in October. I'm doing okay, but it's a long road and its definitely still a one day at a time process. Few days are free from tears and strong negative emotions about my loss and my situation. We never did a whole lot for our birthdays, but always found a way to make it not just another day. This year I think I was dreading that it would be just another day. The closer it got, the more I understood that my lack of action was going to be responsible for me spending it alone. Finally, I awoke from my slumber and started the wheels in motion. This first thing I did was to ask myself what I wanted for my birthday. Too bad, you can't have that. Next choice? I don't know.
But as fate would have it, I was making one of my 10 song playlists on my John's Jukebox Substack and the list started to turn into a mini tribute for Gord Downie of the Tragically Hip. For those that don't know, he was the lead singer and frontman of Canada's most popular rock band of all time. He died a few years ago of brain cancer. And my playlist kind of grew out a video I found lamenting his loss and paying tribute to the impact he had on our lives. As I was scouring YouTube for songs to add to this list when I came across a video from the Canadian Cancer Society about Terry Fox a Canadian hero if there ever was one. The CCS fundraising video sits at the very bottom of that post, being words and music from Gord Downie and the inspiring inner strength of Terry Fox.
I was so moved by the video I immediately pledged a recurring donation. I had found what I wanted to do for my birthday. I dedicated the donation to my wife who also passed from cancer.
And then Facebook really came to the rescue. God I both love and hate Facebook. What sort of fundraiser do you want to have for your birthday they've been asking me for weeks? And so I created a fundraiser in Ruth's name to start on my birthday. I accepted the $300 default goal and published it. My birthday was dominated by responding to my long list of Facebook Friends (acquaintances really) including former customers and schoolmates from long ago overwhelming me with birthday greetings, many of them personalized and a humbling response for my fundraiser in Ruth's honour. They easily broke the $500 mark and it may be more as several people told me they donated directly to the Society rather than going through Facebook.
I also received a surprise video call in the late afternoon from an online friend who I have never met in person who lives in Japan. He was up early, about 5 AM and decided he might try to connect with me. They are so far ahead in time, he was calling from the 5th of March to wish me a happy birthday. I met his two young children who were waiting patiently for breakfast.
On the day before my birthday I also called up a lady I know who lost her husband a couple of years back and who has been very supportive of me. There are some people who just get it. And so we met at the local cafe in our little rural town. We had a nice lunch (no birthday cake required) and a good heart to heart where we strengthened the bonds of our relationship. It was also the day the idiot president gave his disgraceful state of the union address from his bully pulpit. But despite the emotional turmoil of the day, the high highs and the low lows, it was one of the best birthdays I've ever had.
No, I didn't get what I wanted. But I got what I needed, and that is surely something to celebrate. In times of darkness, if we can just love ourselves enough to break out of our shells even just a little bit, the rewards can be beyond anything we might imagine.
Thank you so much for sharing this, John. And happy birthday! I'm so glad you found your way to make it a good day. The first birthday after my husband died was the one where the church ladies surprised me. I thought I was going for a quiet lunch with a friend, and wow, 20 women were there, bearing gifts. I will be forever grateful. Now I'm going to check out your Substack. It sounds like fun.
Interested topic! First of all…Happy Birthday to you! Each one is a blessing. I do have children, which does make it a bit easier as I have dinner with them. I don’t really like big blasts. I also have lunch during the month with several different groups of friends. Thankfully, no gifts, just their company. I am fortunate to have had a wonderful childhood and reminisce about that also. I think it’s remembering that life is a journey with ups and downs, and that journey made you and hopefully you like the person you are. I know I’ve been blessed for almost 82 years!
Over two years ago in Sept. 2023 I threw myself and my twin brother a birthday party, mostly to celebrate Covid restrictions being over and a fun way to reconnect with beloved friends and family. Ordered my favorite foods and had a blast! This year we’re turning 70 and I have mixed feelings about celebrating. But your piece has given me new ways to think about it and plan accordingly!
Happy birthday with hugs and kisses. You are brave to write out your situation and your feelings. In this way, you inspire other people like me to live a meaningful life day by day. Being compassionate to others and being self compassionate are both good for our mental health. I just want to let you know you are not alone. We all share our human conditions. Like you said, sometimes, it can be worse than celebrating birthday alone. It is what attitude we choose to live day by day. I wish you well and finding simple joy everyday.
First off, have a totally awesome birthday, Sue! Your Sunday plans sound fabulous to me, birthday or not.
I was “blessed” to be a “New Year’s baby” (actually, in our small town, Yvonne Samano held the official title, having slipped into the world several hours before me - and she lorded that feat over me for the 8 years we shared classrooms at St Joseph’s school)
January first as a birthday comes with handicaps: it comes in as a tail end holiday with bits of wrinkled tinsel and dual purpose (Christmas and birthday combined) gifts - usually wrapped in Christmas wrapping. It’s in winter, on a day off from school or work, when everything is closed. Everyone is either hung over or watching football (not an aficionado). And now, with social media and the plethora of birthday greetings that get tacked on your wall from everyone from your bestie to someone you sold a sofa to last year, a New Year’s baby not only is obligated to express thanks for all those good wishes, one by one, but good manners dictate that one should also add in the very best wishes for a happy new year to their thanks. I AM grateful for their wishes and I am gracious with my hopes they have good year ahead - but it also stings a little that my special day is pretty much hijacked by the change of calendar year.
This year - my 75th - my besties and I decided that we’d just switch my birthday to May! Why hadn’t I thought of that before? So now I look forward to my first real - all mine - birthday
Thanks, Sasha. I'm grateful my birthday does not fall on a holiday, although it is always during Lent. Changing to May sounds like a great idea. Or better yet, have two birthdays.
Sue! Thank you for featuring my book! I can relate to a lot of the birthday disappointment you described. It was precisely that heart-wrenching disappointment – and the subsequent joy I finally started to feel when I learned to take charge of my birthday experience – that was a major impetus for writing my book. I realized that many of us could enjoy happier birthdays if we reframed the day and approached it as a major holiday worth planning for and celebrating. Everyone is a miracle! And everyone deserves to feel special and loved on their birthday. I’m so happy the book resonated with you. I wish you a delightful and heartwarming birthday filled with good energy, good music, and good cake! May your Birthday Wish come true. ✨
happy birthday lovey. I had a friend (who has since passed) who at one point in his life was a low-bottom drunk, cleaning windshields on the Bowery for change. When I met him he'd gotten sober and successful, and every year for his birthday, he bought himself a new car, and a new wardrobe to match it. My favorite was a yellow and black convertible something or other flashy low-slung car with the yellow and black wardrobe he wore when driving it. He looked like a bumblebee, but he always got what he wanted for his birthday.
I love that. My great-aunt Edna, childless and long widowed, also bought herself a new car every year, but she did not dress to match. She lived to 100, most of it on her own. Hmm. I think I'll wear black and yellow today.
Happy Birthday! My daughter taught me an important lesson the year her divorce was finalized: she threw herself a birthday party and invited her friends because, as her therapist put it, "Why not assume that your friends would welcome the opportunity to celebrate you?" Great turnout and the best birthday party she'd ever had, since she planned it exactly as she wanted.
Happy birthday, March birthday buddy. I will be celebrating both my birthday and my sobriety anniversary (the day after). It will be especially special this year because it is the first one both my husband and I are retired, and yesterday I received some good news regarding a medical issue. There may not be any presents or cards but there will be cake and that's most important 😀
Well, I hope that you have a happy and healthy day and year filled with all the things that you love to do. I guess I never thought about Fred being so much older than you or actually any set age.
I share my birthday with twin sister and my son...my twin told me probably when we were in our thirties that I was responsible for planning and holding our birthday happenings because there were two of us and only one of her, so I do but I gotta say that I usually only decide what we are eating (which I never prepare), decide on a theme (usually something food related to what I am serving like piazza on the patio) and on the day just kick back and visit...we do not get or give gifts.
Fred seemed much younger than he was. By the time I found out his age, it was too late. I was hooked. Your birthdays sound great.
Most of my working life, my birthday fell on a day I was working. So, going out to dinner with my husband was it. And my first husband bought me wonderful gifts that we could not afford and my second would ask me to pick out what I wanted from a catalog and he would order it. So, now that I can do it "my way,"I get something I really want and eat what I really want that day and most years a friend will treat me to lunch on either the actual day or close to it. And since I'm 83, you're just a young whipper-snapper, Sue! Happy Birthday and enjoy it your way!!!
Happy Birthday to you! It is interesting how our birth days can hijack our happiness sometimes. I grew up with my family either lumping my birthday in with my Grandmother’s birthday 20 days earlier or forgetting it entirely. I remember waiting and wishing to be celebrated. Then came my 50th and I knew the disappointment was going to be there. So I left state, went on my own journey and celebrated myself! It is one of the best birthdays I ever had. Now, I celebrate myself and I love that I was born!
March 4th was my birthday. I turned 69. This is the first birthday I've had since my wife died in October. I'm doing okay, but it's a long road and its definitely still a one day at a time process. Few days are free from tears and strong negative emotions about my loss and my situation. We never did a whole lot for our birthdays, but always found a way to make it not just another day. This year I think I was dreading that it would be just another day. The closer it got, the more I understood that my lack of action was going to be responsible for me spending it alone. Finally, I awoke from my slumber and started the wheels in motion. This first thing I did was to ask myself what I wanted for my birthday. Too bad, you can't have that. Next choice? I don't know.
But as fate would have it, I was making one of my 10 song playlists on my John's Jukebox Substack and the list started to turn into a mini tribute for Gord Downie of the Tragically Hip. For those that don't know, he was the lead singer and frontman of Canada's most popular rock band of all time. He died a few years ago of brain cancer. And my playlist kind of grew out a video I found lamenting his loss and paying tribute to the impact he had on our lives. As I was scouring YouTube for songs to add to this list when I came across a video from the Canadian Cancer Society about Terry Fox a Canadian hero if there ever was one. The CCS fundraising video sits at the very bottom of that post, being words and music from Gord Downie and the inspiring inner strength of Terry Fox.
https://johnsjukebox.substack.com/p/dear-mr-downie
I was so moved by the video I immediately pledged a recurring donation. I had found what I wanted to do for my birthday. I dedicated the donation to my wife who also passed from cancer.
And then Facebook really came to the rescue. God I both love and hate Facebook. What sort of fundraiser do you want to have for your birthday they've been asking me for weeks? And so I created a fundraiser in Ruth's name to start on my birthday. I accepted the $300 default goal and published it. My birthday was dominated by responding to my long list of Facebook Friends (acquaintances really) including former customers and schoolmates from long ago overwhelming me with birthday greetings, many of them personalized and a humbling response for my fundraiser in Ruth's honour. They easily broke the $500 mark and it may be more as several people told me they donated directly to the Society rather than going through Facebook.
I also received a surprise video call in the late afternoon from an online friend who I have never met in person who lives in Japan. He was up early, about 5 AM and decided he might try to connect with me. They are so far ahead in time, he was calling from the 5th of March to wish me a happy birthday. I met his two young children who were waiting patiently for breakfast.
On the day before my birthday I also called up a lady I know who lost her husband a couple of years back and who has been very supportive of me. There are some people who just get it. And so we met at the local cafe in our little rural town. We had a nice lunch (no birthday cake required) and a good heart to heart where we strengthened the bonds of our relationship. It was also the day the idiot president gave his disgraceful state of the union address from his bully pulpit. But despite the emotional turmoil of the day, the high highs and the low lows, it was one of the best birthdays I've ever had.
No, I didn't get what I wanted. But I got what I needed, and that is surely something to celebrate. In times of darkness, if we can just love ourselves enough to break out of our shells even just a little bit, the rewards can be beyond anything we might imagine.
Thank you so much for sharing this, John. And happy birthday! I'm so glad you found your way to make it a good day. The first birthday after my husband died was the one where the church ladies surprised me. I thought I was going for a quiet lunch with a friend, and wow, 20 women were there, bearing gifts. I will be forever grateful. Now I'm going to check out your Substack. It sounds like fun.
Interested topic! First of all…Happy Birthday to you! Each one is a blessing. I do have children, which does make it a bit easier as I have dinner with them. I don’t really like big blasts. I also have lunch during the month with several different groups of friends. Thankfully, no gifts, just their company. I am fortunate to have had a wonderful childhood and reminisce about that also. I think it’s remembering that life is a journey with ups and downs, and that journey made you and hopefully you like the person you are. I know I’ve been blessed for almost 82 years!
Over two years ago in Sept. 2023 I threw myself and my twin brother a birthday party, mostly to celebrate Covid restrictions being over and a fun way to reconnect with beloved friends and family. Ordered my favorite foods and had a blast! This year we’re turning 70 and I have mixed feelings about celebrating. But your piece has given me new ways to think about it and plan accordingly!
Happy birthday with hugs and kisses. You are brave to write out your situation and your feelings. In this way, you inspire other people like me to live a meaningful life day by day. Being compassionate to others and being self compassionate are both good for our mental health. I just want to let you know you are not alone. We all share our human conditions. Like you said, sometimes, it can be worse than celebrating birthday alone. It is what attitude we choose to live day by day. I wish you well and finding simple joy everyday.
Happy Birthday. It's your birthday- you celebrate you!!!
Happy birthday, Sue! I hope you have a wonderful day. You deserve it. You do so much for others. <3
Many birthday blessings to you.
First off, have a totally awesome birthday, Sue! Your Sunday plans sound fabulous to me, birthday or not.
I was “blessed” to be a “New Year’s baby” (actually, in our small town, Yvonne Samano held the official title, having slipped into the world several hours before me - and she lorded that feat over me for the 8 years we shared classrooms at St Joseph’s school)
January first as a birthday comes with handicaps: it comes in as a tail end holiday with bits of wrinkled tinsel and dual purpose (Christmas and birthday combined) gifts - usually wrapped in Christmas wrapping. It’s in winter, on a day off from school or work, when everything is closed. Everyone is either hung over or watching football (not an aficionado). And now, with social media and the plethora of birthday greetings that get tacked on your wall from everyone from your bestie to someone you sold a sofa to last year, a New Year’s baby not only is obligated to express thanks for all those good wishes, one by one, but good manners dictate that one should also add in the very best wishes for a happy new year to their thanks. I AM grateful for their wishes and I am gracious with my hopes they have good year ahead - but it also stings a little that my special day is pretty much hijacked by the change of calendar year.
This year - my 75th - my besties and I decided that we’d just switch my birthday to May! Why hadn’t I thought of that before? So now I look forward to my first real - all mine - birthday
Thanks, Sasha. I'm grateful my birthday does not fall on a holiday, although it is always during Lent. Changing to May sounds like a great idea. Or better yet, have two birthdays.
Sue! Thank you for featuring my book! I can relate to a lot of the birthday disappointment you described. It was precisely that heart-wrenching disappointment – and the subsequent joy I finally started to feel when I learned to take charge of my birthday experience – that was a major impetus for writing my book. I realized that many of us could enjoy happier birthdays if we reframed the day and approached it as a major holiday worth planning for and celebrating. Everyone is a miracle! And everyone deserves to feel special and loved on their birthday. I’m so happy the book resonated with you. I wish you a delightful and heartwarming birthday filled with good energy, good music, and good cake! May your Birthday Wish come true. ✨
Thank you, Tamar!
Great suggestions. I especially love the idea of taking care of your body as a gift! Also happy birthday!
happy birthday lovey. I had a friend (who has since passed) who at one point in his life was a low-bottom drunk, cleaning windshields on the Bowery for change. When I met him he'd gotten sober and successful, and every year for his birthday, he bought himself a new car, and a new wardrobe to match it. My favorite was a yellow and black convertible something or other flashy low-slung car with the yellow and black wardrobe he wore when driving it. He looked like a bumblebee, but he always got what he wanted for his birthday.
I love that. My great-aunt Edna, childless and long widowed, also bought herself a new car every year, but she did not dress to match. She lived to 100, most of it on her own. Hmm. I think I'll wear black and yellow today.