My family has a tradition that the adults no longer trade presents - instead we all donate to each other's favorite charities. The children still get presents, but all of us get to share in the seasonal thoughts while providing resources to non-profits performing key community roles in these times
I enjoy your reflections. May I suggest, you honor your feelings about caring about what you get for Christmas? It is normal to want to be noticed and to feel that you are special to other people. I don't have a lot of money for presents this year, but I do enjoy buying something for my nephew and nieces. However, I was offended last year when my niece commented on how small my gift was. Perhaps a lesson on gratitude is in order. I certainly would never consider complaining about how my nieces never get me anything.
I hear you! It's hard shelling out and shelling out for other people/their kids, and never getting anything in return, let alone a thank you note or even a simple acknowledgement that the gift was received (if it was sent). I suppose a handwritten thank you note is expecting too much these days (eyeroll), but an email, text or phone call would be nice. Too often, it's total radio silence -- it's like it disappears into a black hole. I'm not getting many thank you notes for wedding gifts these days either.
That said -- a couple of years ago, my husband & I got gifts from our nephew (well, from his wife, really!) and family -- on Mother's Day & Father's Day (!!) -- with a lovely note thanking us for all we do for them. We'd been doing a lot of babysitting for our little great-nephew at the time, and to have that acknowledged with a gift? For MOTHER'S DAY?? Yes, I cried!
My friends and family stopped gift giving and sending cards years ago. I don’t need an excuse to give a gift or send a note to express my fondness during the year. Christmas is for kids and if I travel to spend Christmas at my sister’s house, I buy a gift for her grandchildren. If I don’t go to my sister’s then the day passes like any other since I no longer go to church. I mean Christmas is really a religious holiday. As a single older woman I have no desire to recreate my childhood by decorating my house with a tree. I have wonderful memories. It’s enough.
I hate giving presents. I am not good at choosing things. My husband and I do not exchange presents. If someone gives me a present, then I have to awkwardly and painfully give one back. Bah, humbug!
Years ago I used to shop year-around. I loved the hunt for the perfect gift for each recipient. The trick was not to forget who I bought the present for or hiding it where I’d ended up forget it. 🙄 (There was always giving it the next year. 🤣)
I really wouldn't mind doing this if I felt my gifts (and the time, effort involved in getting them to people) were acknowledged. And those children (who are mostly now adults) who were MADE to send thank you letters as children (and it was hard work for both parents and children!) - I have to say that they have grown up into some of the nicest young adults I know. The rest... I worry for them (and their parents) as a lack of gratitude for the 'gifts' of our beautiful world doesn't turn out well personally or societally. So these days I only send to the young godchildren, not the grownup ones, unless I'm actually seeing them at Xmas. (The ungrateful ones never think to invite me anyway...)
You're right that it feels like a one-way street when you're childless and solo - and it can be excruciating being at a family xmas and watching everyone else open their HUGE piles of gifts whilst you nurture your one or two gifts and try not feel unseen and uncelebrated... or risk saying anything about your feelings for fear of looking greedy.
I still send cards, but the cost of postage now is making that look pretty daft - more trees cut down, more fossil fuel used to deliver them… and for what? (And I know there are e-cards, but has anyone ever been thrilled to get one?)
Jody, you nailed it. This world needs a whole lot more gratitude. And oh, I have been at those gift-opening fests while the others open tons of presents and there's little or nothing for me. Torture. It's all quite stressful and not at all in the spirit it's meant to be. May Santa be good to you this year.
This year's postal strike in Canada has put a serious kibosh on sending cards and gifts. Kind of solves that problem right there. 😏
I was the kid who was "made" to write thank you notes and i turned out very well. 😄 and i made my boys write them too. I fear it's becoming a lost art though.
We are a small family of four, no little ones. We go very light, just a gift or two to each other.
We see large extended family on the 25th, no gifts. May I ask why you don’t try buying all year and bringing them at Thanksgiving , the years you visit?
I enjoy your writing. Good health in the New Year.
Oh Jeanne, the buy-all-year-and-deliver-in-person-on-Thanksgiving plan is always what I aspire to, but this year it just didn't happen. Maybe I'll do it in 2025. I'm going to try. I'm stocked up on wrapping paper now. That's a start.
My family has a tradition that the adults no longer trade presents - instead we all donate to each other's favorite charities. The children still get presents, but all of us get to share in the seasonal thoughts while providing resources to non-profits performing key community roles in these times
I enjoy your reflections. May I suggest, you honor your feelings about caring about what you get for Christmas? It is normal to want to be noticed and to feel that you are special to other people. I don't have a lot of money for presents this year, but I do enjoy buying something for my nephew and nieces. However, I was offended last year when my niece commented on how small my gift was. Perhaps a lesson on gratitude is in order. I certainly would never consider complaining about how my nieces never get me anything.
I hear you! It's hard shelling out and shelling out for other people/their kids, and never getting anything in return, let alone a thank you note or even a simple acknowledgement that the gift was received (if it was sent). I suppose a handwritten thank you note is expecting too much these days (eyeroll), but an email, text or phone call would be nice. Too often, it's total radio silence -- it's like it disappears into a black hole. I'm not getting many thank you notes for wedding gifts these days either.
That said -- a couple of years ago, my husband & I got gifts from our nephew (well, from his wife, really!) and family -- on Mother's Day & Father's Day (!!) -- with a lovely note thanking us for all we do for them. We'd been doing a lot of babysitting for our little great-nephew at the time, and to have that acknowledged with a gift? For MOTHER'S DAY?? Yes, I cried!
Living alone, no matter how many friends you have out there, is a very ‘poignant’ time at Christmas. I’m all for treating yourself.
I love that you got yourself something AND put it under the tree! The holidays are a rough road. Blessings as you make your way through.
My friends and family stopped gift giving and sending cards years ago. I don’t need an excuse to give a gift or send a note to express my fondness during the year. Christmas is for kids and if I travel to spend Christmas at my sister’s house, I buy a gift for her grandchildren. If I don’t go to my sister’s then the day passes like any other since I no longer go to church. I mean Christmas is really a religious holiday. As a single older woman I have no desire to recreate my childhood by decorating my house with a tree. I have wonderful memories. It’s enough.
I hate giving presents. I am not good at choosing things. My husband and I do not exchange presents. If someone gives me a present, then I have to awkwardly and painfully give one back. Bah, humbug!
Years ago I used to shop year-around. I loved the hunt for the perfect gift for each recipient. The trick was not to forget who I bought the present for or hiding it where I’d ended up forget it. 🙄 (There was always giving it the next year. 🤣)
Sue, looove the good news about the robo calls!
I really wouldn't mind doing this if I felt my gifts (and the time, effort involved in getting them to people) were acknowledged. And those children (who are mostly now adults) who were MADE to send thank you letters as children (and it was hard work for both parents and children!) - I have to say that they have grown up into some of the nicest young adults I know. The rest... I worry for them (and their parents) as a lack of gratitude for the 'gifts' of our beautiful world doesn't turn out well personally or societally. So these days I only send to the young godchildren, not the grownup ones, unless I'm actually seeing them at Xmas. (The ungrateful ones never think to invite me anyway...)
You're right that it feels like a one-way street when you're childless and solo - and it can be excruciating being at a family xmas and watching everyone else open their HUGE piles of gifts whilst you nurture your one or two gifts and try not feel unseen and uncelebrated... or risk saying anything about your feelings for fear of looking greedy.
I still send cards, but the cost of postage now is making that look pretty daft - more trees cut down, more fossil fuel used to deliver them… and for what? (And I know there are e-cards, but has anyone ever been thrilled to get one?)
Jody, you nailed it. This world needs a whole lot more gratitude. And oh, I have been at those gift-opening fests while the others open tons of presents and there's little or nothing for me. Torture. It's all quite stressful and not at all in the spirit it's meant to be. May Santa be good to you this year.
This year's postal strike in Canada has put a serious kibosh on sending cards and gifts. Kind of solves that problem right there. 😏
I was the kid who was "made" to write thank you notes and i turned out very well. 😄 and i made my boys write them too. I fear it's becoming a lost art though.
We were encouraged to write thank you notes, too. People don't say "thank you" enough.
We are a small family of four, no little ones. We go very light, just a gift or two to each other.
We see large extended family on the 25th, no gifts. May I ask why you don’t try buying all year and bringing them at Thanksgiving , the years you visit?
I enjoy your writing. Good health in the New Year.
Oh Jeanne, the buy-all-year-and-deliver-in-person-on-Thanksgiving plan is always what I aspire to, but this year it just didn't happen. Maybe I'll do it in 2025. I'm going to try. I'm stocked up on wrapping paper now. That's a start.
Sue is such a nice girl who rejuvinate our Christmas so nicely. For which I send my deepest
love hugs and embraces for Christmas season only as a reward for her meritorious services
for so long. Kudos with warm hugs!!