It's wonderful you had more willing helpers than you realized! And your post also inspired me to make an emergency card to stick in my wallet, and another to keep in the pouch where I store my phone.
Such an important topic. I’m on my own and my daughter is off to Uni soon so I’m hoping to relocate. I’ll be sure to consider this as I find my new community! 🙏🏻
Surprisingly, or maybe it shouldn’t be, I shared your original post and hands reached out from places and people I would never have expected as well. The first trick is the asking, the second is allowing someone to show up for you. I struggle with both, but I’m getting better. Thanks for bringing the push I needed.
YAY, you go Sue! This is exactly what I was hoping and sending some good karma and little prayers for. Just as you've said to Suzie, I want to pick up on a point about 'reciprocity' - the way you've shared your thoughts and the way Suzie has shared her comment - we tend to feel 'guilty' or that there needs to be a pre-justified level or basic-existing relationship/ knowledge of a reciprocal willingness....
In my mind, that starts a Catch-22 in our heads of 'not wanting to bother others' if they seem busy and so we don't and so we don't build a relationship. I've heard this and read this repeatedly in support forums for carers and those who are on their own and doing really well independently.
My point - we need to start building community relationships without assumptions, or preconceptions of how people will react. We're all out of practice, behind closed doors or screens
I think we can tell when and who we have an affinity for so offering support when you can is a great first step, to explore building stronger relationships for when you need them.
You're role modelling here for us Sue, and generously and bravely sharing. Thank you! Just remember - no guilt, no prerequisite base needed, you can give flowers/cake after or check on others who may need help to build contacts later...Also....writing and having your readers in your community is a genius way of updating everyone ;-) Take care
P.S It's always good to have at least 2 pairs of ears to hear any 'results' or info / take notes..even with our 3 pairs of ears with caring for Dad we each heard something different ;-)
I'm dealing with a situation right now. I have a medical procedure scheduled for next Monday and have been trying to figure out who can take me. I will be sedated for the procedure, so I am not allowed to drive myself. Hubby cannot take off work. Asking for help from others is so hard. I have a friend lined up for now, but I feel guilty about infringing on her time.
Try not to feel guilty. We all need each other. I have a procedure today for which I don't need a ride, but I'm scared of the results, so it would be nice to have company. Good luck on Monday.
I would not feel guilty. Think about what a joy it is to help someone in need. You are giving a gift to someone to do a good deed and feel that they are wonderful. We all need each other at times! Good luck. I wish you a speedy recovery. ❤️
I've been in similar shoes, with an emergency and needing help over what turned into months as a result of an accident with my right hand. What surprised was WHO turned up to help. In my case, there were so many people I just would not have immediately thought of as helping me. And then there were others I was sure I could count on, who it turns out, weren't available. Lessons learned. I too have a list of contacts on my fridge, and reminders to myself to get to know the helpers better and return their favor. Great post.
Thank God you wrote the original and this follow up, honestly… I worry about my sister and myself, too, although I have at the moment a husband but he works outside the home, allot. We also have some vulnerable neighbors who I’m going to offer up this very thing. I sent your first to sissy since she does have a nice church and hopefully that will start the ball rolling. Time is too short to be embarrassed. 😳❤️🔥🥰
It's wonderful you had more willing helpers than you realized! And your post also inspired me to make an emergency card to stick in my wallet, and another to keep in the pouch where I store my phone.
I love this. Those people were right there in your life, and they stepped right up. Delightful.
I love the empowerment of this post. There’s so much you can do! 💚
Such an important topic. I’m on my own and my daughter is off to Uni soon so I’m hoping to relocate. I’ll be sure to consider this as I find my new community! 🙏🏻
So important to ask for help when you need it. People sometimes are just not aware.
That is exactly my point, not just for this, but for the whole Can I Do It Alone project. People are not aware if we don't tell them.
Surprisingly, or maybe it shouldn’t be, I shared your original post and hands reached out from places and people I would never have expected as well. The first trick is the asking, the second is allowing someone to show up for you. I struggle with both, but I’m getting better. Thanks for bringing the push I needed.
You're welcome. I needed that push, too.
YAY, you go Sue! This is exactly what I was hoping and sending some good karma and little prayers for. Just as you've said to Suzie, I want to pick up on a point about 'reciprocity' - the way you've shared your thoughts and the way Suzie has shared her comment - we tend to feel 'guilty' or that there needs to be a pre-justified level or basic-existing relationship/ knowledge of a reciprocal willingness....
In my mind, that starts a Catch-22 in our heads of 'not wanting to bother others' if they seem busy and so we don't and so we don't build a relationship. I've heard this and read this repeatedly in support forums for carers and those who are on their own and doing really well independently.
My point - we need to start building community relationships without assumptions, or preconceptions of how people will react. We're all out of practice, behind closed doors or screens
I think we can tell when and who we have an affinity for so offering support when you can is a great first step, to explore building stronger relationships for when you need them.
You're role modelling here for us Sue, and generously and bravely sharing. Thank you! Just remember - no guilt, no prerequisite base needed, you can give flowers/cake after or check on others who may need help to build contacts later...Also....writing and having your readers in your community is a genius way of updating everyone ;-) Take care
P.S It's always good to have at least 2 pairs of ears to hear any 'results' or info / take notes..even with our 3 pairs of ears with caring for Dad we each heard something different ;-)
Thank you so much, Victoria!
I'm dealing with a situation right now. I have a medical procedure scheduled for next Monday and have been trying to figure out who can take me. I will be sedated for the procedure, so I am not allowed to drive myself. Hubby cannot take off work. Asking for help from others is so hard. I have a friend lined up for now, but I feel guilty about infringing on her time.
Try not to feel guilty. We all need each other. I have a procedure today for which I don't need a ride, but I'm scared of the results, so it would be nice to have company. Good luck on Monday.
I would not feel guilty. Think about what a joy it is to help someone in need. You are giving a gift to someone to do a good deed and feel that they are wonderful. We all need each other at times! Good luck. I wish you a speedy recovery. ❤️
I've been in similar shoes, with an emergency and needing help over what turned into months as a result of an accident with my right hand. What surprised was WHO turned up to help. In my case, there were so many people I just would not have immediately thought of as helping me. And then there were others I was sure I could count on, who it turns out, weren't available. Lessons learned. I too have a list of contacts on my fridge, and reminders to myself to get to know the helpers better and return their favor. Great post.
Thank you. We need to cultivate our team of helpers, and yes, they can surprise you.
Thank God you wrote the original and this follow up, honestly… I worry about my sister and myself, too, although I have at the moment a husband but he works outside the home, allot. We also have some vulnerable neighbors who I’m going to offer up this very thing. I sent your first to sissy since she does have a nice church and hopefully that will start the ball rolling. Time is too short to be embarrassed. 😳❤️🔥🥰
I like this site a lot. https://savvysenior.org/article_20240429.htm